September 2011

Farewell summer 2011! The leaves on my tree are starting to fall & 1 outta my 2 kids are back in school. Must mean it’s time to get your hula on @ the Tiki Bar! Kate crafted up shrinky dink chips for all of us w/ our official secret sister identity on them. Very cool! Check the photo on the side over there to see who got what. Everyone was actually on time this month! Holy crap! The hot tub was available (although Kate & I were the only ones who took advantage of it's relaxing bubbles), there were drinks on tap, and it was an all around lovely evening. We dined on ham, pineapple pudding, spinach dip, crabby mushrooms, dried fruit, nuts, pasta salad, trail mix, and aloha bars.

Other fun points of the evening: I kept spilling change every time I went to pass the cup/change to Debi. One time it even went all over the floor! Peg asked Roger to make coffee way early in the evening. Halftime rolled around & there still wasn’t any coffee. This prompted Peg to ask Charlie if he could make some coffee. Unfortunately, his furry little paws make it difficult to work the buttons! Lori hit the first cover all of the night, thus overflowing her change container. Leading up to the 2nd cover all, Debi won 4 pots in a row & Patt won the cover all. Hostess luck did not pay off for Kate who ended the evening w/ a nearly empty change purse.

MYSTERY BOX

Not only was Kate the hostess, but she was also responsible for the September Mystery as well. Lori was the lucky winner this month! In the house-shaped box was a tropical plant in a donkey planter & a Hawaiian candle. I wonder what kind of spooky Mystery Lori will come up with.

HALLOWEEN-O FESTIVITIES

It’s the spookiest time of the year! Once again, get over to Spanky’s house for our annual Halloween Party on SATURDAY, 10/22 @ 6:00. Costumes are mandatory, so plan your outfit now & get ready for lots of treats!

FRIENDLY REMINDER

I know nobody wants to think about Christmas yet, but the other “annual” part of our Halloween Party is picking Secret Santa slips for our Holiday party. There is a $25 limit, so please try to think of 3 things you’d like to have whether you’ve been naughty or nice! This way, if you think about it early, you might not get writer’s block @ the table when it’s time to fill out your slip.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Snapple Fact #785 (submitted by Lori) – The fastest growing nail is on your middle finger! Funny, because that’s usually my shortest nail even though it’s the finger I use the most!

THIS IS THE END

“Mooka lok akiki come on you wanna lei me! Pass the poi! Ma halo!” – Wayne & Garth. Party on! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

August 2011

Usually, we all look forward to our annual Toga Party @ Spanky’s. Unfortunately, this year, we had a party crasher! Her name was “Irene”! A few days before our party, the news started telling us scary stories about rain, flooding, winds, etc. Friday through Saturday afternoon, we watched the news as the storm got closer. We moved the time to have an early start @ 4. It was already raining all day, so any idea of relaxing in the pool was quickly washed out! Amazingly enough, all 8 of us made it to the party! Kate left after about an hour or so…just enough time to make drinks (hurricanes of course!), eat, win the Mystery & split! The 7 of us played on. I had to take over calling duties which made Phyllis happy because that meant she was next!

We dined on pulled pork sammiches, cole slaw, fried tomatoes, orzo pasta salad, fruit salad, cupcakes & other various snacks. We only played 3 rounds with Patt calling the Cover All at the 6:30 mark. Peg & I split the pot for $7 each. We took a break for coffee & dessert. Marge left. We kicked around the idea of playing another round, but Patt & Debi wanted to roll out. Peg, Lori & I hung out for about ½ hr & left. Everyone got home safely & avoided the worst of the storm! At the end of the night, Spanky handed out parting gifts to everyone. They were mini hurricane survival bags that included: a bottle of water, a rain poncho, a candle & a lighter! You can’t say we weren’t prepared! After all was said & done, we got a lot of wind & rain, some places got flooded, lots of downed tree branches, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the weather people predicted. Here’s to surviving Irene!

MYSTERY BAG

As previously noted in the opening section, the Mystery this month went from Patt to Kate. The theme was home entertaining/hurricane survival. There was a set of card design plates, napkins, cups & tablecloth. This will come in handy for the September party! Funny story about these items…Patt found them in a store on clearance. The cashier didn’t know how to ring up the order, so he gave her the whole lot for $2.50. This left Patt w/ 50 cents change (in dimes) which she also tossed into the bag! The rest of the bag included a heavy duty rain poncho, damp rid, flashlight, candles, an all-purpose stick (glowing/flashlight/whistle), and a pack of cards to have something to do in case the power went out!

TIKI BAR LUAU

I can’t believe it’s the end of summer already! It seems like just the other day we were kicking summer off @ the Tiki Bar, and now…we’re waving goodbye! Please come to Kate’s house SATURDAY 9/17 @ 6:00. Weather permitting – the hot tub will be open!

EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS

With an unheard of earthquake hitting our area on Tuesday (we are still on the East Coast, right?) & Irene blowing in over the weekend, we had to have a discussion about what to do in the future if we have another weather emergency on Pokeno day. It seemed like a million phone calls went between my house & Phyllis! Not to mention mass text messages to the rest of you! Thank goodness for an unlimited data plan!

So, here’s what we all decided to do in the future…

Step 1: Adjust the starting time. If it looks like bad weather will be hitting in the evening, we will move the start time to earlier in the day (like we did this time). If that doesn’t work…we go to plan B.

Step 2 (or Plan B): Change the date. In the event of a blizzard, hurricane, earthquake, fire, locusts, plague, zombies, etc, we will reschedule the party all together. The only problem w/ trying to reschedule the date is sometimes people only have a day or 2 available that month which would push that party into the following month, which might eventually lead us to having Xmas on St. Patty’s Day! The date reschedule will be the last resort for emergency planning.

Above all else, safety is the most important thing! Use your common sense/gut instinct. If you don’t feel comfortable braving the storm or zombie apocalypse, DON’T COME OUT!!! I can’t stress this enough! Your attendance is NOT mandatory. Of course it would suck if you didn’t come because we like being together (most of the time) & we would miss you, but we all understand that some people have a long drive, and others just don’t like zombies... So, one more time, if you don’t feel safe driving – don’t do it! And, if you DO insist on coming out (even after people have
told you not to), don’t whine about it after you get to the party!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Five of a Kind? Or What’s It Called? For the record, it’s called a “flush”! This is when you get 5 of the same suit. I think Lori asked what it was called & Patt yelled 5 of a kind as she was trying to count & call cards at the same time!

Oh! The Frightening Places You’ll Go! During Phyllis’ call she said, “I had to go back in my mind!” Is that as scary to the rest of you as it is to me? I don’t think I’d like to go into the dark, deep recesses of Spanky’s frontal lobe…

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

#1 – Happy Birthday! We have 2 lovely ladies celebrating birthdays in August. Sister Cosmo was at the beginning of the month. Sister Giggles celebrated a few days before our Hurricane Party!

#2 – Happy Anniversary! My how the time flies! With all the craziness that was this month’s game, I totally forgot to announce that this was Lori’s 2nd anniversary as an official Pokeno member! Way to go Giggles, you’ve survived all the wackiness that is Pokeno!

GOT POOL HAIR?

There's nothing better than taking a dip in the pool on a hot summer day, but chlorine & chemicals can be harsh/damaging to your hair. This potion will protect your locks - and help blonde hair from turning green.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons baking soda
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon mild shampoo
*Yields 2 ounces -- enough for one treatment

Mix together all ingredients until well blended. Wet hair and massage the mixture onto your hair & scalp, making sure ends are coated. Cover hair with a plastic bag or shower cap and leave on for 30 minutes. Rinse hair well and shampoo as usual.

THIS IS THE END

So, we survived 2 natural disasters in one week! Pshew! Let’s hope Mother Nature’s done with her need to strike down upon us with great vengeance and furious anger so we can have a nice, sunny, happy Luau! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

July 2011

Once again, it was time to put on our fancy clothes & head over to Patt’s for the Birthday Tea Party! Everyone looked lovely. Most of us showed up in black & white outfits with pink undies! Great minds really do think alike (wink)! Everyone was in attendance! This is important, because earlier in the week, Cosmo got a last minute invite to a family wedding. She needed to chauffer her elderly grandparents. You can’t fault her for that, right? So, we made arrangements to cover her. Phyllis made her sandwiches and I would transport the gift that her hubby had to drop off @ my house Saturday morning! No sooner did the hubby return home when Kate’s getting off the phone w/ her aforementioned elderly gramma. Kate called to square up last minute travel plans. That’s when Gran told her the wedding isn’t until the end of the month! At least someone in Kate’s family is a steel trap! Maybe Kate’s memory will get better with age? It was nice to have her (even at the last minute), but she was also a running joke of the day… “Yea, well you weren’t supposed to be here anyway!”

My rockin’ car-load rolled up @ 2 on the nose. Peg & Lori showed up about ½ hour after us. Not like that mattered…by the time we all sat around, ate, chatted, etc, I don’t think we started playing till at least an hour after that! Peg got seated last – next to Spanky! Isn’t there a rule that they’re supposed to be separated? Hmm… They didn’t seem to cause too much trouble during the day. We dined on assorted mini-sandwiches; blueberry muffin tops; sugar cookies; chocolate chip zucchini bread; salad bar; fruit salad & BBQ chicken breasts.

Lori was nice enough to donate some cards for the day. It wasn’t till we were ready to call that the true nature of the cards was revealed…they were “exotic”! Every one of the cards had a naked man on it! These cards were circa 1970/80, so they were super corny. They caused much discussion as they were passed around the table. “Holy shit!” was exclaimed at one point. One of the guys was dubbed, “Left Turn Clyde”. Kate was first to call as Patt passed saying, “This dong’s for you!” Kate made her call exciting by describing all of the men for us before holding up the card. The cards were fun, if not distracting! Thanks Lori!

Debi won the first cover all, completely overflowing her container (again!) In order to bring some much needed luck to the rest of the table, Patt busted her special Happy Birthday crown out of her office & passed it around the table for everyone to share. Unfortunately, it didn’t bring any luck to anyone! Oh, wait, in the end, it wound up bringing (more) luck to Patt who won the last cover all “after lots of losing”!

MYSTERY BAG

It’s NOT in a box again! This month, Debi was the Mystery presenter. As I took the cards around the table, I told the ladies to “pick your dong”! For a split second I thought I had busted my Mystery losing streak until Patt flipped over her manly Ace card & snatched the bag from me! There’s that hostess luck again! Inside the bag was a bunch of summer themed goodies: bubbles, bag, palm tree cup w/ matching stirrers, candles (sniff, sniff, pass), sun block & lip balm. Here’s a funny side note to the Mystery. When Debi was putting it together, she was showing the goodies to her husband. He took a real liking to the palm tree cup & told Debi he wanted it. She tried explaining that it was the last one left at the store & she really needed it to complete her Bag. Her husband was not amused! But after Debi explained the situation to Patt, she graciously returned the cup to Debi to take back home! Maybe it was that good hostess karma that won Patt the final cover all!

ALL HAIL THE V

Get in touch with your inner goddess at our annual Toga Pool Party at Spanky’s house! Get there on SATURDAY 8/27 @ 5 if you want to swim (bring a suit & towel), or 6 if you don’t. Bring your toga & we’ll party like its 90 BC! Phyllis will be making pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, and fried tomatoes w/ gravy. Please bring a side, snack or dessert of your choice.

PRESENT EXTRAVAGANZA

Everyone remembered their gifts (more or less). Here’s who got what: Our hostess kicked it off. Patt gave Debi a Wawa gift card, flower picture frame & candle. Debi gave Lori an (As Seen on TV) Easy Scrubber for an easy at-home pedicure. Lori had Phyllis. She gave her a big card, flowers and package “From one drunk to another”! Inside the package was a bottle of Fish Eye wine, small bottle of orange vodka & personalized shot glasses (1 for “Giggles” & 1 for “Spanky”). After much confusion…Phyllis went to the gift pile & noticed there’s a card on the floor that says “Happy birthday Angi”. Problem with that is Phyllis has me as Pollyanna & that card has Marge’s handwriting on it. Phyllis still had her Pollyanna slip in her Pokeno bag. So, I got a goodie bag w/ everything I need to keep taking proper notes during our games – notepads, pens & 6 various Yankee Candles. I gave Kate baked goods (chocolate chip cookies), light up cocktail shaker & Aloha air freshener to cover up cigar funk in the Tiki Bar. Kate gave Patt a card that sang the Limbo song & a “Buddha for Buddha”! That’s when Marge figured out that she was actually supposed to buy a gift for Peg instead of me! Marge lost her slip & said she couldn’t remember what I asked for, but was sure it was me! Peg got a Wawa gift card (perfect for coffee on the go!). Peg had Marge! She gave her a cute summery top & animal calendar w/ all the Pokeno sister’s birthdays already filled in.

THIS IS THE END

I will close this month’s Rag with this incredibly timely “Snapple Fact” #846: An average of 3 billion cups of tea will be consumed daily, worldwide. That’s an awful LOT of tea! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2011

This month, we celebrated a pre-Memorial Day BBQ @ Cosmo’s house. Unfortunately, Peg couldn’t join us this time, but she’ll be back for the tea party. We dined on lots of wonderful things: mussels; pasta salad; tortellini kebobs; cake; pie; cookies; cold drinks on tap; hot dogs; and shrimp skewers. Kate provided a table full of colorful buckets w/ tiki lighters (that looked dirty) & pretty floral hairclips. Some of us used them to put up our hair as it was quite warm. The hot tub was set up, but only Patt went in during our half time break. She was relaxing while Debi was kicking Phyllis’ ass at some lawn darts. After the outdoor activities, we came back in to stuff ourselves some more w/ all the dessert goodies! Lori baked a red velvet cake that she personalized w/ Pokeno chips & our names! I grabbed some goodies & went back downstairs. I thought everyone was following, but I was wrong. Anyway, while I was down there, I overheard, “You have to turn the pot ON for the coffee to actually brew!” Always a helpful tip! At the end of the night, more than one of the Pokeno Sisters was complaining about tummy aches from eating too much deliciousness!

One interesting thing about the evening - according to some religious wing nuts somewhere – it was going to be the rapture/end of the world! What better place to be than in the basement w/ your friends & family? As you can see by the writing of this blog thingy here - it didn’t happen! But, it made for lots of jokes & giggles throughout the evening.

Patt decided to play some wacky version of beer pong & tried to bounce a balled up napkin into Marge’s cup @ the other end of the table. That plan didn’t work at all & the wad actually plopped into Phyllis’ drink! Patt tried again later, we all covered our drinks. It turned into another running joke of the night.

There was lots of drama before Spanky’s call! She was one of the last people to call, so it was later in the evening & she was VERY antsy by this point! Lori went to pour a drink when it spilled all over the table/cards/floor/Patt! Oh no! Flagged! We frantically rush to get paper towels & clean up the mess, when here come the dogs to help! Dogs probably shouldn’t be drinking vodka... I proceeded to scoop up the dogs & run them upstairs. I shut the door, come back down & Kate tells me, “You know, they can get through the cat door…” 15 mins & many paper towels later, Phyllis finally got her chance to call. Spanky won the first cover all of the night. I didn’t note who won the 2nd. Maybe you remember…maybe it was you? I can assure you it was NOT me!

MYSTERY PACKAGE

It’s NOT in a box! So, therefore & henceforth it will be known this month as a “package”. It turned out that birthday magic was in the house instead of “hostess luck” because Debi won Marge’s gift! Marge prefaced the giveaway by telling us if we didn’t want it, we could pass or whatever. This made everyone think it was gonna suck! But, underneath the sports section of the paper (which Debi had to stop & read) was a hand-stitched “God Bless America” cross-stitch sampler. Everyone thought it was really cool & Deb was very lucky to win! I wonder what she’ll bring for the Tea Party Mystery. I guess we’ll see in July! And, now onto that bit of business…

A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!

Don’t be late for our annual birthday Tea Party @ Patt’s house! Well, at least try not to be… This year, we will be celebrating on SATURDAY, 7/9 @ 2:00. Everyone was too busy in June to agree on a date, so we just pushed the party to July. As usual, please come dressed for tea & bring your gift!

Speaking of gifts…we had to pick Pollyanna for this event. We knew well in advance that Peg wasn’t coming, so we made arrangements w/ her via text. We’re SO 21st century around here! Debi helped me figure out a plan to ensure that Peg wouldn’t get herself – I just wouldn’t put her in! Brilliant! Only, I dropped her slip into the pile after filling it out & totally messed up the plan! Geez! I fished back through the pile & scooped her out so we could carry on as planned. It was smooth sailing from there & we all got our people! Speaking of birthdays…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We had 2 lovely Pokeno sisters celebrating birthdays this month. It was Marge & Debi! Thanks to Lori donating an extra tiara to the bag, we had 1 crown for each lady! Debi’s tiara brought her super powers! It won her the Mystery & it helped her call well!

STUFF THAT SUCKS

#1 – LG products! Debi told us that as she’s finishing up her kitchen remodel, she purchased some new appliances. All from LG. Apparently, there’s been nothing but problems w/ the dishwasher & fridge since they were installed! She recommends you don’t make the same mistake in your own home.

#2 – Shamwow! You may (or may not) remember, 2 birthday parties ago…Debi had Kate for Pollyanna. She thought it would be funny to gift Kate her very own Shamwow in honor of her fabulous Halloween costume. Kate used it & threw it in w/ laundry to clean it. She put it in the dryer & wow indeed! It shrunk to a fraction of its original size! She called it a “Sham-don’t”!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Tighter & Whiter? It’s not really that bad… we were talking about dying your hair & that was Beauty School Spanky’s take on going blond. We were all remarking on how nice Patt’s blond looked. That led to another conversation about never dying your hair in anger! It only ends up w/ you spending too much time & money in the salon to have a professional fix it!

Burning Bush! I mentioned previously that Cosmo gave us all some fabulous tiki lighters. Patt was sitting (in her bathing suit – she’s not naked!) & playing w/ her lighter trying to figure out how to light it when we realized it was upside down & she was about to set her incredibly flammable 2 piece on fire! Good thing this was prior to Patt getting vodka spilled all over her, or it could’ve been even worse! Stop, drop & roll - it’s not a hot flash; you’re actually on fire…

For Hire! Spanky offered up a new service -“Professional Pokeno Consultant”. She says if you need her to call, she’ll assist! I’m not sure if there are any other uses/duties/tasks for a “Pokeno Consultant”, but she only wants to use you to get herself to call quicker anyway!

Ass Noises! No, it wasn’t really from your butt & had absolutely nothing to do w/ “butt stuff”. Some of us were barefoot & when your foot rubbed the table, it would make a sound like you were passing gas. The chairs were making noises too! However, none of these noises compared to the actual ass-blasting that took place over @ the bar…you know who you were…

THIS IS THE END

There was lots of fun in May! It will be a while until we meet again, but hopefully that will just make our birthday/tea party even more exciting! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

April 2011

We had our “Spring Fling” @ Debi’s this year. Everyone was very excited leading up to the game & everyone had a really great time! We were all in attendance this month where we ate ham, macaroni & cheese, green bean casserole, candy/cookies/cake, onion dip, pimento cheese (“caviar of the south”), and some devilled eggs. Debi provided little crystal trays to store our snacks on. Phyllis made dessert this month – spring cookies & “Spike the Lamb” cake. Cheers to our resident celebrity chef for such a lovely treat. So lovely in fact we were all scared to cut into it! Phyllis took care of that – starting w/ his fluffy frosting head! Deb asked that we all show up “around 5-ish”. Marge drove 2 towns further before realizing she’d gone too far & had to turn around to come back. Kate guided Spanky & I without any incident this time (NO u-turns needed!) and even a police escort for a few blocks! Peg & Lori didn’t get there until after 5:30 because Peg fell asleep in the tub! Purple was the color of the evening with 5 outta 8 coming in the springtime fresh shade. During the first cover all, Lori won every pot until Cosmo took the cover all! Her bra is full again! Patt & Debi kept hitting center pots all night. At the end of the night, some “hostess luck” paid off for Deb who won that cover all by herself!

Part of the evening festivities was a good old-fashioned Easter egg hunt! Debi was going to have it in the back yard, but due to inclement weather, we hunted her den instead. We agreed to have a designated hunt @ half time. Phyllis took a potty/snack break as her opportunity to “pounce”! She snuck out there & found 2 eggs while I was peeing! We all laughed & she was penalized from finding any more. Amongst the eggs, there was 1 with a very special surprise inside! That one was found by Patt – inside the egg was 60 cents! The rest of us got a bunch of springtime stickers to decorate our cards & ourselves with.

The only down side to the night was the weather! It rained most of the day & as we arrived to Debi’s, Patt was getting weather updates about tornado warnings & such! There was a big line of tornados that moved through the Midwest/south lately, so it’s no joke! Our plan was go to the basement in case of emergency. Luckily, it was just bad lightning & heavy rain. Deb’s house was a “haven in the storm” on a dark & stormy night! As we were leaving, it was calm/warm/nice even! Turns out that was literally the “calm before the storm”. I got a text telling me bad stuff was on the way & sho’ ‘nuff – about 5 minutes into our ride home, the rains came with a great vengeance & furious anger (Ezekiel 25:17)!!! Cosmo was a brilliant pilot – getting us through flooded out roadways and home safely! No sooner did this massive storm hit & it was done! Here’s hoping for better weather next time!

1ST BBQ OF THE SEASON

After much debate…we finally decided on the next Pokeno. It will be held SATURDAY, 5/21 @ Kate’s house. It will be a Pre-Memorial Day BBQ. Kate will be grilling up shrimp skewers, please bring sides/salads/snacks/dessert/beverages. In honor of our independence, please feel free to wear whatever you want! No bra? That’s OK! Red, white & blue? It’s all up to you!

MYSTERY BOX

There was a spring-theme to Peg’s Mystery. Marge was the winner this time. I’d like to note here that there’s a new record of longest losing streak! That would be me…I haven’t won a Mystery in a year & ½! Anyway, enough whining…back to the story… So, Marge won the Mystery! Peg went back to our “olden thymes” Pokeno where we would find stuff lying around the house to donate. There was a decorative bunny tree; a wire butterfly basket filled with eggs, candy & surprise bunnies. Everything came out of Peg’s attic – everything but the candy of course!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Breast Break! We took one of these to discuss why proper undergarments are SO important! Always worth the extra bucks – especially if you’re among the bustier of our crew (you know who you are…)!

Po-kee-nooooooo! Debi was sure she had Pokeno, but not sure if she actually had a flush or not. So, she said the opening line in slow motion while she counted. I’m not sure how that turned out, but the line was used a few more times during the evening just for fun!

THIS IS THE END

The April Rag has been short & sweet (unlike its author who’s more tall & sarcastic). Here’s looking forward to more fun in May! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

March 2011

(Editor’s note) - Due to the deliciousness of the Appletinis that Kate provided, most of the evening & my notes are a blur. I apologize in advance for any parts of this month’s Rag that don’t make sense!

This year, I was hostess for our St. Patty’s party. Everyone came in their finest green attire & was “Irish” for the evening. Unfortunately, Marge couldn’t make it this month due to an emergency situation. Otherwise, we were 7 strong & had a lot of fun! We dined on cheesy lasagna; salad bar; ham & cheese roll ups (there’s still burnt cheese in the bottom of my oven); fruit w/ dip; margarita pie and spinach/artichoke dip served w/ sourdough bread. Kate brought her super fantastic drink making machine and whipped up some green drinks (Appletinis & Grasshoppers). Peg made Irish potatoes too. There was a dish on the table to share & she also made everyone their own Chinese take home boxes full. Ever so thoughtful, she even made a special box of chocolate for Marge who doesn’t like coconut. Debi promised to deliver them on Monday. I wonder if they ever made it… I passed out shamrock bags full of Philadelphia Cream Cheese goodies (spoons, coupons, notepads, magnets, recipe books, necklaces & bracelets) to everyone. Lori had stuff to share too! She passed out wallets that she chose especially for each of us, paid our dues for the night, funded our first round & gave us pins to wear in memory of her Irishman dad who passed away in January.

Phyllis was being helpful by telling us to “put out your hands” whenever we won so she could deliver our winnings. Debi & Phyllis split the first cover all. I had a lucky duck to give away, but forgot to note who won. At the end of the night, Peg won the final cover by herself after Patt & I both missed the 3 of hearts being called! Apparently, Deb kept hitting something, but I can’t read my own handwriting to know if it was a pot or a person! There was no “hostess luck” for me this month – I only hit 2 pots all night! Not sure if my lack of concentration on Pokeno was because of those delicious drinks, or because I was also trying to watch the Flyers game (while playing & scribbling illegible notes). On a positive note – at the end of the OT shoot out, the orange & black clinched a playoff spot! Woo hoo! Let’s go Flyers!!!

SPRING FLING

In an effort to finally put away her Christmas decorations…Debi has kindly offered up her house to welcome spring! Please make your way to Casa de Juggs on SATURDAY, 4/16 around 5-ish. We will be having a traditional spring feast of ham, mac & cheese, pineapple pudding, deviled eggs, and green bean casserole.

MYSTERY BOX

This month, the Mystery went from Phyllis back to Peg again! Inside the handcrafted & hand-stamped wrapping paper was a beautiful Irish wreath, there was also a tin filled w/ Irish crème truffles (that Peg was nice enough to share), “lucky” dimes (they were all dimes that Spanky found lying around), and a lovely handcrafted choker & earring set.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Po Po Platter! That’s when you hit Pokeno & Postage at the same time! I wrote down this was “by Phyllis”. Not sure if she coined the funny or if she won the money…

Queen of…pointy one! Patt uttered this during her call. I’m pretty sure this is what prompted her to pass the calling over to me after she only called twice. Not that I was in any better shape to call! This stuck for the rest of the night & we all kept laughing about it!

Butt things? Ok, that’s all I wrote… I didn’t elaborate w/ any further notes… wonderful…. If any of you can remember what this was about, please let me know. I’m sure it was funny. Maybe I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t move my pen!

Debi Funnies! I noted up there that Deb kept hitting something all night. She apparently threatened someone by saying, “You’re lucky I’m on the chair!” Or maybe, she was lucky she wasn’t falling off…I really wish I could remember more of what happened this month. When it was her turn to call, Deb made another funny while passing on her call because…get ready…”it’s not in the cards”! Who knew we had so many comediennes in our group?

Lube it up! Someone was having trouble getting their dimes in the pots. Someone said, “Dime won’t go in? Try KY!”

THIS IS THE END

This month, I’d like to close w/ some Irish wishes. #1 May you live as long as you wish and wish for nothing as long as you live. #2 (provided by another Foxy Sister) May the roof above us never fall in and may the friends gathered below never fall out. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

February 2011

Our annual “love fest” was held @ Spanky’s again this year. We came ready to play in our comfy clothes & brought comfort food to share. Everyone was in attendance this month and a swell time was had by all! We dined on spinach shells, sausage/peppers, broccoli & ham ring, snacks, antipasto, cheesecake & cream puffs. Not to mention all the chocolate-dipped goodies Phyllis whipped up. There were strawberries, fudge, pretzels, chocolate bark, even potato chips!

Phyllis had a game arranged for us (imagine). It was called “Thief of Hearts”. Every time you won Pokeno, you were awarded a heart. Phyllis gave all of us one of her handcrafted hearts to start the game. Each one was unique. Some fit to print were “Valentine Diva”, “Sugar Baby” & “Big Tease”. The only problem w/ getting a prize for winning Pokeno is sometimes you have to share your winnings. This led to what Spanky dubbed a “sudden death” situation! You had to draw a card to determine the “thief”. At the end of the night, Peg won after a “sudden death” with me & Kate. Her prize was a stained glass heart wreath sun catcher. It’ll go perfect in her kitchen!

I know I said up there @ the top of this month’s Rag that it was a “love fest”…more like a “TOUGH love fest”! I hollered an obscenity to Peg after she won something I was waiting on, but I meant it w/ love so it was ok. Later on, Peg was throwing chips @ Debi after she hit yet another flush! Lori was afraid to call any clubs out of fear of Peg’s chip-throwing wrath!!! Lori thought she had 4 corners (a really fat pot). As she was picking it up, good ol’ eagle (or is it “rooster”)-eyed Marge spied Lori really had a Postage Stamp! It was a really big difference in weight! But, at least Lori still got that! Marge, Phyllis (damn hostess luck) & Peg all split the 1st cover all. And it looks like Kate’s bra bag is back up to an A cup after she won the 2nd cover all by herself.

MYSTERY BOX

Someone (Cosmo) told Peg during the last meeting that she should make her Mystery “Naughty or Nice”. Apparently, Peg did a little of both (more about that in a minute). We went round the table picking cards. Deb had the highest card, but decided to pass since she just had it last month. So, we went round the table once more & this time the re-pick worked for Spanky & she was the big winner!!! The “Nice” items were: heart-shaped box of chocolates; mini yellow rosebush & candle. Now for the “Naughty” part. It was some VERY naughty lube! Yadda, yadda, yadda…if you were there, you might remember some of the other stuff that is completely unfit to print here! Phyllis (& the rest of us) was very happy that she got to call first!

WE’RE GOIN GREEN

Wear some green & be camouflaged like a chameleon in my “Green Room” for our belated St. Patrick’s party. Make your way over to Casa de la Flicka on SATURDAY 3/19 @ 5:00. I will be providing super cheesy lasagna, Phyllis is making spinach artichoke dip, Peg is making Irish Potatoes & Kate will be providing green drinks (not beer)! This party pretty much planned itself. It was the easiest date/time agreement ever!

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

That means pay attention here!!! Our beloved Treasurer (Spanky) had an official announcement to make. As the official Pokeno secretary, it’s my duty to reprint it for posterity. Here-ye, here-ye…if you find your finances are a bit tight for that night’s game, please see Phyllis (confidentially) & let her know. She will happily loan you some dimes to get through the evening. The money in the Pokeno Treasury is for everyone to share! So, please, don’t ever let the fact that you’re short on dimes stop you from enjoying a fun-filled evening w/ friends!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Sausage Fest! Kate & I escaped our houses a bit early to head over to Spanky’s house. While we were chatting, Phyllis told us about this upcoming trip that Mark has planned to go to WV w/ his (man) friends. They’re going to the woods of WV (insert dueling banjos here) to a shack (more banjos) to make 4 different kinds of sausage! There’s nothing gay about grown men going to a retreat in the middle of the woods to stuff meat!!!

What’s It Called? A few rounds into the evening, things were going smoothly when Patt says, “I got one of those things” and makes a square shape w/ her hands. That would be 4 Corners, or was it a Postage Stamp? Either way, it was really funny!

Karma Train! A little while after the above incident, Debi won a super fat 4 Corners! She decided to showboat w/ the pot & wound up spilling it all over her spot! See, that’s what you get for showing off!!! Tisk, tisk!

Holy moly! Peg said this after hitting a center late into a call. We all giggled & it stuck for the rest of the night whenever something happened, “Holy moly”!!!

Looks like that’s all the love we could handle this year! Maybe the “luck of the Irish” will be with us next month! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!