July 2011

Once again, it was time to put on our fancy clothes & head over to Patt’s for the Birthday Tea Party! Everyone looked lovely. Most of us showed up in black & white outfits with pink undies! Great minds really do think alike (wink)! Everyone was in attendance! This is important, because earlier in the week, Cosmo got a last minute invite to a family wedding. She needed to chauffer her elderly grandparents. You can’t fault her for that, right? So, we made arrangements to cover her. Phyllis made her sandwiches and I would transport the gift that her hubby had to drop off @ my house Saturday morning! No sooner did the hubby return home when Kate’s getting off the phone w/ her aforementioned elderly gramma. Kate called to square up last minute travel plans. That’s when Gran told her the wedding isn’t until the end of the month! At least someone in Kate’s family is a steel trap! Maybe Kate’s memory will get better with age? It was nice to have her (even at the last minute), but she was also a running joke of the day… “Yea, well you weren’t supposed to be here anyway!”

My rockin’ car-load rolled up @ 2 on the nose. Peg & Lori showed up about ½ hour after us. Not like that mattered…by the time we all sat around, ate, chatted, etc, I don’t think we started playing till at least an hour after that! Peg got seated last – next to Spanky! Isn’t there a rule that they’re supposed to be separated? Hmm… They didn’t seem to cause too much trouble during the day. We dined on assorted mini-sandwiches; blueberry muffin tops; sugar cookies; chocolate chip zucchini bread; salad bar; fruit salad & BBQ chicken breasts.

Lori was nice enough to donate some cards for the day. It wasn’t till we were ready to call that the true nature of the cards was revealed…they were “exotic”! Every one of the cards had a naked man on it! These cards were circa 1970/80, so they were super corny. They caused much discussion as they were passed around the table. “Holy shit!” was exclaimed at one point. One of the guys was dubbed, “Left Turn Clyde”. Kate was first to call as Patt passed saying, “This dong’s for you!” Kate made her call exciting by describing all of the men for us before holding up the card. The cards were fun, if not distracting! Thanks Lori!

Debi won the first cover all, completely overflowing her container (again!) In order to bring some much needed luck to the rest of the table, Patt busted her special Happy Birthday crown out of her office & passed it around the table for everyone to share. Unfortunately, it didn’t bring any luck to anyone! Oh, wait, in the end, it wound up bringing (more) luck to Patt who won the last cover all “after lots of losing”!

MYSTERY BAG

It’s NOT in a box again! This month, Debi was the Mystery presenter. As I took the cards around the table, I told the ladies to “pick your dong”! For a split second I thought I had busted my Mystery losing streak until Patt flipped over her manly Ace card & snatched the bag from me! There’s that hostess luck again! Inside the bag was a bunch of summer themed goodies: bubbles, bag, palm tree cup w/ matching stirrers, candles (sniff, sniff, pass), sun block & lip balm. Here’s a funny side note to the Mystery. When Debi was putting it together, she was showing the goodies to her husband. He took a real liking to the palm tree cup & told Debi he wanted it. She tried explaining that it was the last one left at the store & she really needed it to complete her Bag. Her husband was not amused! But after Debi explained the situation to Patt, she graciously returned the cup to Debi to take back home! Maybe it was that good hostess karma that won Patt the final cover all!

ALL HAIL THE V

Get in touch with your inner goddess at our annual Toga Pool Party at Spanky’s house! Get there on SATURDAY 8/27 @ 5 if you want to swim (bring a suit & towel), or 6 if you don’t. Bring your toga & we’ll party like its 90 BC! Phyllis will be making pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, and fried tomatoes w/ gravy. Please bring a side, snack or dessert of your choice.

PRESENT EXTRAVAGANZA

Everyone remembered their gifts (more or less). Here’s who got what: Our hostess kicked it off. Patt gave Debi a Wawa gift card, flower picture frame & candle. Debi gave Lori an (As Seen on TV) Easy Scrubber for an easy at-home pedicure. Lori had Phyllis. She gave her a big card, flowers and package “From one drunk to another”! Inside the package was a bottle of Fish Eye wine, small bottle of orange vodka & personalized shot glasses (1 for “Giggles” & 1 for “Spanky”). After much confusion…Phyllis went to the gift pile & noticed there’s a card on the floor that says “Happy birthday Angi”. Problem with that is Phyllis has me as Pollyanna & that card has Marge’s handwriting on it. Phyllis still had her Pollyanna slip in her Pokeno bag. So, I got a goodie bag w/ everything I need to keep taking proper notes during our games – notepads, pens & 6 various Yankee Candles. I gave Kate baked goods (chocolate chip cookies), light up cocktail shaker & Aloha air freshener to cover up cigar funk in the Tiki Bar. Kate gave Patt a card that sang the Limbo song & a “Buddha for Buddha”! That’s when Marge figured out that she was actually supposed to buy a gift for Peg instead of me! Marge lost her slip & said she couldn’t remember what I asked for, but was sure it was me! Peg got a Wawa gift card (perfect for coffee on the go!). Peg had Marge! She gave her a cute summery top & animal calendar w/ all the Pokeno sister’s birthdays already filled in.

THIS IS THE END

I will close this month’s Rag with this incredibly timely “Snapple Fact” #846: An average of 3 billion cups of tea will be consumed daily, worldwide. That’s an awful LOT of tea! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!