August 2010

It’s once again time to indulge in our annual summer Toga party. It was made even more interesting this year with the addition of our birthday party. Our special 2-fer party was a big success. Phyllis fired up the grill for burgers & dogs. She also made a side of fried tomatoes w/ gravy. Debi discovered that if you added a fried tomato to the burger, it was even better! Kate provided cool, refreshing strawberry daiquiris for everyone. Marge & I brought salads (pasta & potato). Peg tended a milkshake bar for dessert (excellent idea). Patt & Debi brought a fruit tart. Phyllis made a birthday cake (we all sang along) with our logo on top.

For a party that was supposed to start @ 4…we didn’t even start playing until 8:00! We wrapped our evening up around 11:30. Peg wasn’t feeling so hot. She only lasted a few rounds, and then went to crash out w/ Nathan in the living room. We had lots of daiquiris to drink (alcohol makes Kate lucky) & gifts to open. When everyone settled in, the game flew by. We got all the way ‘round the table & had one big cover all. Phyllis got to call the cover all, but complained the rest of the time because she really wanted to call!!! We know, we hear this line every single game. And, every time we remind her that there’s an order. I think it was Debi who recommended we change her name from “Spanky” to “Skippy” because if she didn’t stop whining, she was gonna get skipped all together! I neglected to note who won at the end of the night, so hopefully you remember. At the end of the evening, Phyllis handed out home-made bath fizzies. Peg handed out little goodie bags w/ hand sanitizer, candy & dimes.

FOOD BUSINESS & FUN

In that order – do NOT attempt to stray! I already noted the food stuffs in the first section up there. Then we moved onto business. We discussed our September plans, did the Mystery (see section below) and then…dun-dun-dun-FUN!!! That part consisted of making Lori an official Pokeno Sister! It was her 1 year anniversary with us & all our craziness, so it was time to make her take the oath. Phyllis made Peg walk Lori outside to the front door (just like we all had to do). Lori told Peg she was scared & “why do I always do what Phyllis tells me”? Inside, we greeted Lori w/ hoots & hollers. Phyllis greeted her w/ a fishy hat & a paddle. After Lori stated her name & took the pledge, she was given her official Sister Name of “Giggles”! Phyllis also provided her w/ a replica scroll of her pledge & a commemorative mini-paddle w/ her name on it. There was so much fun to follow from this point that I had to break it down into categories!

Gift Exchange - After we were done torturing Lori, we exchanged gifts. Phyllis had Lori. She got a really lovely Pokeno bag! Inside the bag there was a change container (Pokeno Moola), magnetic wand & “magic” chips. Lori had me. I got a giant box w/ a 12-pack of Coca Cola, earrings, random lime & two 40’s! One of Corona & one of Bud Light w/ the lime already in there! I had Kate. She got a pan of brownies, K magnet, Twizzlers, best friend charm & a Cosmo painting. Kate had Marge. Her gift was wrapped in sunflower fabric, topped w/ silk sunflowers & held together w/ safety pins (how cute). Inside was her favorite perfume – Navy. Marge had Debi. After much running around to find her #1 request, Marge wound up getting her a bottle of wine from the liquor store around the corner! Deb had Peg. She handed off a lovely Victoria’s Secret bag. Peg was expecting lingerie, but…surprise! It was a Pokeno bag w/ wand, chips, ceramic seahorse & surprise gift! How does one use a “surprise gift”? Luckily, there were directions on the back! 1. Break water bag inside the gift w/ both hands completely. (Ed. Note - the last time I broke a water bag, a baby came out) 2. Shake the gift a few seconds, and then throw it away 3. Wait for a few seconds & you’ll get your surprise gift! This sent the whole table into fits of laughter! Throw the present away??? Surprise! It’s trash! Those Chinese & their sense of humor! Then we thought if we read the instructions like a fortune cookie by putting “in bed” after. But, that only worked for step #3… Peg had Patt. She gave her a goody bag w/ dimes, a beautiful turquoise cuff (see photo) & gift card for Barnes & Noble. Patt had Phyllis. It was a shiny silver bag w/ a card on the front labeled “Maturity”. That one’s for Spanky? Are you sure??? Inside the bag were “Eat Pray Love” & some other book. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the Karma Sutra.

The Panty Raid - There were a pair of thongs (or were they dental floss?), a pair made of candy & some other cute ones. The Baby Phat panties made a comeback too. Phyllis had them first & put them on to show off her MC Hammer moves. Someone asked, “Are they really panties made for 2”? Later in the evening, Marge was chilly & Patt (who had the giant panties @ the time) lent them to her to keep warm. Not really sure how well the sheer panties did with that, but we all had a good laugh. Patt had a bunch of panties later in the evening & declared herself “the underpants gnome”. If you don’t watch South Park, you don’t get the joke, but I’ve put a visual aid over there on the side. Debenhams! This was the actual tag inside one of the pairs of panties that floated around during our raid. Patt had ‘em for a while when someone mentioned something about “right handed boyfriends”. I honestly don’t remember why this was said, but I’m sure I wrote it down for a reason, so hopefully one of you fine ladies gets that joke… Another funny was someone (can’t remember who) had a pair of panties & said “look at the pretty BLOW on the front”!!! What kind of panties are these anyway??? No, no, no…she meant to say BOW. I can see how one might make that mistake.

MYSTERY BOX

Patt was once again responsible for the Box this month. She says that after this one, she will voluntarily remove herself from the next 3 Mystery drawings. Good, that’ll give the other ladies a chance! I’m sure I’ll be reporting that Patt was the winner again in November/December. But, anyway, this time around, Cosmo was the big winner! Patt prefaced the Box pass off by saying that she wanted to go back to the old days of Pokeno & not do anything over the top, so she picked something to go w/ the evening. Inside the Box (with still recycled paper) was a bunch of BBQ essentials: chef’s hat, sauce brush, cookbook, giant bottle opener magnet & apron.

PARTY @ THE TIKI BAR

September’s party will be “no frills”. So, come to Kate’s house on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH @ 6:00. The hot tub is up & running, so if you’re interested in taking a dip, bring a bathing suit & towel. Unfortunately, our cards aren’t waterproof, so we actually have to play the game inside the house. Kate will have Roger grill us up some kebobs & we’ll probably have some other face-stuffing goodies there too.

BIRTHDAY SHOUT-OUTS

This month, we have 2 of our foxy ladies celebrating birthday milestones. They had to share the tiara. At one point it popped off of Kate’s head. That meant it was Lori’s turn again. Later on, Lori was wearing the tiara & a thong (on her head) at the same time. Cosmo turned 35 this year. That makes her officially in her mid-thirties. I don’t have too much room to bust balls here as I will join her in October. But, another sister is celebrating an even bigger milestone. She’s super swell & nifty! She’s Lori & she’s 50! Here’s to at least 50 more birthdays for both!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Hormono? That’s how Phyllis has been feeling lately. It seemed that everyone was busted up (physically or emotionally) this month. But, Spanky’s sciatic nerve was flaring up real bad. She just got most of the feeling back in her foot/leg a few hours before the party started.

4 in a Corner? That’s how Phyllis referred to her Postage Stamp. As noted above, Phyllis wasn’t feeling like herself this month, so we let it slide. We laughed like hell first, but we let it slide.

Whaddya workin on? All around the table it was “I’m workin on Pokeno” or “I’m workin on 4 corners”. Well, I wasn’t workin on anything so I said, “I’ve been workin on the railroad all the live long day”! Everyone laughed & someone made me write it down so I wouldn’t forget to mention it here.

Bring your own what now? Someone was looking around the table & noted, “Instead of bring your own bottle, it’s bring your own boobs here”! So, please remember that BOB is mandatory for all games!

CITRUS MASQUE RECIPE

From time to time, I like to share beauty tips. For those of you that need a facial purge, try this one. I used it myself & my skin felt great when I was done!
Take 1 Tbsp each of citrus juice (lemon or lime – but not Sprite) & baking soda. Mix up really well. It will fizz like crazy for a minute, but that’s what it’s supposed to do. Wait for the fizz to die down & slather the paste all over your face. Let it sit for 20 mins & rinse. Your face will be squeaky clean & lemony fresh!

See, I put the masque thing at the end so you could read the whole Rag before accidentally squirting lemon juice in your eye, thus, temporarily blinding you. Sorry bout that… Well, until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!