December 2013 - Holly Jolly Pokeno Edition

As I sit here typing words, I must make a full disclosure at the beginning to tell you that I was NOT very diligent in my note-taking this month. Must’ve been too much holiday cheer! There are a few things I didn't write down, or just plain forgot…so…here’s my best recollection of the events of the evening. Thank you for your understanding.

For the second year in a row, we celebrated the holidays @ Marge’s apartment. A lovely time was had by all. The apartment was very festive with not just one, but two Christmas trees! We dined on ham, pineapple pudding, mac & cheese, assorted snacks & apple pie. Everything was delicious. As we were all talking about how full we were…Debi says, “I obviously hated all the food!” and pointed to her clean plate! Once we were done chowing down, we got down to business around 5:30. Patt was on a roll winning 3 in a row & then Pokeno. I think it was Kate on a roll winning lots of centers…I could be wrong, but someone definitely kept hitting it & I know for sure it wasn't me! We did our first cover all @ 6:30 when Marge & Debi split the winnings. We then took a break to exchange gifts (more on that in a minute). Peg was having a rough week, so she decided to leave early & head home to rest. The 7 of us played on, starting up again at 7:40. We did another few rounds & a final cover all that I won alone. We ended the party around 9(?) & headed for home chock full of good eats & fun gifts! Speaking of gifts…see the present round up below!

We were all very good girls this year because our Secret Santas were very good to us (as usual!) Here’s who gave what to whom: Since Marge was the hostess, she gave out her gift first. She gave Lori candles, long johns & possibly an ornament. I think I remember hearing Lori say something about that… Next up, Lori gave a gift to Peg. The top of the box was decorated with a bunch of yellow roses (for friendship!) Inside the box was a little stocking with a gift card for Bath & Body Works (oooohhh, smelly stuff!). Under that stocking was a cat stocking (see photo over there on the side) with a note “from the cats” telling Peg they’re “starving” & need more food/treats. She can use the Pet Smart gift card for that! It was Peg’s turn to give her gift to Patt. I wrote down “candy”, but I think there were some delicious chocolate covered pretzels in there somewhere too…plus she got an i-Tunes gift card. We all know Patt needs more music to keep her cruising around the tri-state area! Patt’s gift went to Marge. She gave her a box of her favorite cookies! Marge was very excited! Next to give a gift was Kate. She gave Debi a “bag of cheer” chock full of tiny airplane bottles & some other fun stuff. Debi had a gift to give to Phyllis. After Spanky was done licking her gift…she opened it to find a tiny penguin snow globe, as well as a bigger snow globe w/ snowmen inside. Phyllis picked a gift from the pile & gave it to me! I plunged into my gift bag to discover a bag of my favorite “Jamaican Me Crazy” coffee! I was SO excited to get this & inhale its coffee deliciousness that I didn't even realize there was anything else in the bag. There was also a really funny card & a beautiful amethyst/diamond bracelet. Last but not least, I got to round out the gift giving by handing my bag over to Kate! Inside the bag was a tin of cookies (just for her – I also baked a “decoy” batch to throw off the hubby & kid), a mini Yankee Candle, a new change purse for Pokeno (covered w/ Cosmos!) complete w/ a roll of dimes inside, and a tube of cherry blossom lotion. Yes, we certainly were a bunch of good girls! Thanks again to everyone for your thoughtful gifts & being so generous to your sisters!

MYSTERY BOX

Marge wasn't just responsible for hosting this month’s party; she was also responsible for providing the Mystery this month. The winner this time was Kate (again)! Inside the inquisitive snowman box was a scarf, mug, cocoa, snuggie, gloves, hat & a smelly wax tart. After Kate put all of her items on, we realized she looked remarkably like a homeless person! Just check out the photo over there… So, Kate will be responsible for bringing the first Mystery of 2014 to…

HAPPY NEW POKENO YEAR

For our first Pokeno of 2014, we will be ringing in the new year @ Debi’s house! This will be our “happy appy” party. Get your comfy (jammies/sweats/etc.) on SATURDAY, 1/25 @ 5:00. So far, the menu is crab balls (no actual crab testes will be harmed); a ham ring; dumplings; hoagie tray; veggies & dip.

FINAL THOUGHT

I’m thrilled to have spent another year of fun-filled Saturdays (& sometimes Sundays) w/ my “foxy sisters”! Here’s to a 2014 filled with even more laughs, good food & more dimes coming in than going out! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

November 2013 - Happy Thanksgiving Edition

For the first time in quite a while, we played at Peg’s house! Everything was super lovely! Unfortunately, it was a bit too warm to have the fireplace going. Instead, there were candles blazing, lovely linens, leaf art by my boys, and some beautiful flower arrangements. I took a photo of the one from our table (over there on the side). As I was taking the picture, Phyllis commented, “It’s so lovely it would bring a tear to Martha Stewart’s eye!” We had a full formal sit-down dinner first. We were thankful for all the good cooks in our group by eating a whole bunch of turkey, stuffing, two different kinds of potatoes, green bean casserole, veggies, pineapple pudding, corn muffins, assorted snacks, cranberry sauce & pecan pie cupcakes for dessert. Peg had put 2 tables together & we were figuring how we were all gonna reach the cups when Marge mentioned how they have a tray w/ cups for the Pokeno games @ the old folks home. Peg got a tray from the kitchen. The cups went in & we passed around for filling/emptying. It worked very well & everyone was in all night!

We also had an unexpected guest join us for a little bit. Peg’s neighbor came over to help her get ready & he decided to stick around. He joined us for dinner & sat by to watch us play for a while. After he started nodding out on the couch (we must be super exciting), he got up to say, “I gotta go put my dog out”. Patt says, “Is that code for something”? We all laughed. Then we started taking bets of if he would come back. He didn't so; those extra dimes were placed into the first cover all.

After we got done stuffing our faces, picking a winner for Mystery & discussing our holiday party, we finally started playing @ 7. We did our first cover all @ 9 when Patt was the big winner! The final cover all was @ 9:30 (so Phyllis could call). This time, hostess luck paid off & Peg was the winner.

MYSTERY BOX

Kate was responsible for providing a Mystery for November. Marge was the winner! This was an interesting box. It was a lovely box with clocks all over. When it was opened, there were 2 parts. Part 1 had a sign that read, “It’s better to give than receive”. Under the sign was a canned food donation for Jacob’s school. Part 2 had a box with a Grinch sign that said, “Fuck that shit” & inside that box was quite possibly the best Mystery ever in the history of Mysteries. No offense, you’ve all provided lovely boxes over the years, but I’m guessing you’ll agree with this statement. You were there…you know what it was. No need for me to elaborate further. All I know is that Marge is gonna have a heck of a time following this one up…

HOLLY JOLLY POKENO

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…although; most retailers have had it looking like Christmas since before Halloween. Anyway, we will be gathering together at Marge’s this year to share tidings of good cheer. Pay close attention to this one…our party will be SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY 12/29 @ 4:00. Wear your stretch pants again, because this time we’ll be stuffing ourselves with a full Christmas feast! So far on the menu we have ham, green bean casserole, mac & cheese and apple pie for dessert. It looks like we still need sides/appetizers & such. I will probably stop by Dunkin’ on the way for a big ol’ Box O’ Joe. Any coffee drinkers that would like to chip in towards some liquid crack, donations will be accepted!

Don’t forget!!! Please bring your Secret Santa gift! A present-less Pokeno Sister is a sad Pokeno sister!

SHOUT OUTS!

Shout Out #1! I’d like to take this spot to wish our Pokeno treasurer a very happy birthday! Spanky turned another year older this month…in age only… She was supposed to celebrate by going to a fancy dinner with her hubby. We all hope you had a great day!

Shout Out #2! As Kate’s Mystery said… it’s better to give than receive! I’d like to take this spot to say thanks a bunch for your donations for Jacob’s school food drive. I left with 2 bags FULL of stuff for needy families. There was SO much that I had to work out a deal to meet the teacher at the end of the day (for a few days) with bags of cans because there were too many for Jacob to carry in by himself! On behalf of my son, his teacher & his classmates…thank you in advance for the upcoming pizza party they will get. Thanks also for helping all those families that will benefit from your generosity!

FINAL THOUGHT

Let’s all take a moment here to stop & be thankful for whatever it is you’re thankful for… Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

Happy Halloween 2013 Edition

Another Halloween was celebrated at Spanky’s house! We had a Pirate Wench (Spanky) complete with talking parrot; Inflatable Wacky Arm Waver (Cosmo); a Hooker (Lori); a Witch (me); “Sister” Juggs (Debi as a nun); Dirty Dorothy (Peg); a Painter (Marge) & Patt who “doesn’t do costumes”. We cashed in almost $40 in discarded dimes & used them to order some food. We also had “steaks through the heart” (tomato/mozzarella bites); pond scum to drink; white chocolate raspberry cheesecake by Peg-a-la & other assorted snacks. Phyllis wrote a poem dedicated to the classic monster movies of the 30’s & 40’s. She also had the TV playing the Halloween channel. There were some good tunes, but there were also sound effects sprinkled in between. This freaked out Marge who noted the sound effects were “creepy” especially right across the street from the graveyard! Not to worry! If the zombie apocalypse came, I think we’d be ok to defend ourselves @ Spanky’s house! Plus, Sister Juggs brought rosary beads & a bible, so that would be helpful if any vampires showed up.

This year, Phyllis had 2 games for us to play. First was the “bats in the belfry” game. Everyone was given a bat at the start of the night & if you hit center, you stole a bat from one of the other ladies. I was on a roll with 5 at one point, but all my bats were plundered & in the end, it was a tie between Debi & Lori. There was a sudden death card draw and Debi had the higher card to come out victorious! She won a “Haunt your house” bag full of Halloween decorations. The 2^nd game of the night was played during our halftime break. There was a skeleton hanging on the door to the bathroom. We were each presented with a personalized bone. As they were being passed out, Debi noted, “Isn’t everyone just waiting for a bone with their name on it?” We all got a good chuckle out of that one! We were then blindfolded & escorted to the door area where all tried our best to give the skeleton a “boner”! Most of us were in the right area. Lori however…well…hers wound up over by the elbow! Anyway, it turned into a “bone off” between Debi (again) & Patt. They were both very close. Phyllis had an idea of where it was supposed to go, but it was still too close to call. On the edge of our seats, waiting patiently for a winner to emerge, Patt graciously declined the prize & gave it up to her BFF. Debi was a winner (again…there’s a pattern here tonight). This time, she won the very beautiful mask we used for our game.

After comparing costumes, chilling out, stuffing ourselves with snacks & doing business type stuff, we finally started playing @ 7. We took a break @ 8 to eat. We resumed game play @ 8:30. An hour later, we did our first cover all. It was a 3-way split between me, Kate & Debi (again). We finished our night around 10, when Phyllis won all by herself with 7 cards left to call. Looks like the hostess luck was with her for that one!

MYSTERY BAG

Patt was responsible for the October Mystery. Kate was the winner! Inside the pumpkin bag was: a glow stick; glowing pumpkin; a “blessings” candle; pink ribbon tissues & an apple kitchen scrubber holder (that Peg tried to smuggle in her costume). This means that Cosmo will be responsible for bringing a Mystery to our “Thankful” party next time. Oh, will you look at that…

NOVEMBER POKENO

Come & be thankful at Peg-a-la’s house! Peg will open her home to us once again to have a formal sit-down turkey dinner. Hopefully it will be cool enough to have the fireplace going. That makes it extra cozy! Get your stuff together & get ready to stuff your face on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16^th @ 5:00. We decided on the earlier start time because we will have a nice dinner first, and then get down to playing. We will be dining on turkey; stuffing; green bean casserole; twice baked & sweet potatoes; pineapple pudding; corn muffins; cranberry sauce & pecan pie cupcakes for dessert. Might I suggest wearing stretch pants?

FRIENDLY REMINDER!

Believe it or not, it’s that time of year once again! Our annual holiday party is creeping every closer which means…presents!!! I will be passing out Secret Santa slips during our Thankful party @ Peg’s. You will have space for 3 items you would like to have. There will be a $25 limit. So, put your thinking caps on & start thinking so you’ll be prepared.

FINAL THOUGHT

You ladies never cease to amaze me with your crafty costumes! Thanks again to Phyllis for being the “Queen of Halloween” & hosting such a great party! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

September 2013 - Aloha Summer Edition

So long summer my old friend…it’s time for fall once again… We said “aloha” summer & “aloha” fall at the Tiki Bar. Cosmo made lasagna for us. We also had: zucchini w/ cheese & sun dried tomato; garlic Parmesan bread sticks; Parmesan ranch bacon dip; assorted snacks & quite possibly the most delicious dessert I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Phyllis warned us from the beginning that we might die from how good this cake was, or from all the bad stuff in it. She tried to get us to sign waivers saying we were taking responsibility for whatever may happen. We thought she was joking…until after we ate, Patt & Deb wound up in a “food coma” passed out on the couch. The comas were well worth it though! Of course everything was tasty, but this cake was just something else. Phyllis was worried because she never made it before, but we were very happy to be her guinea pigs! One little fact that nobody mentioned to Marge beforehand, was that this thing is chock full o’ coffee – it’s soaked into the cake, it’s mixed in the frosting, etc. So, Marge is sitting there devouring her slice of cake & going on about how great it is. Then someone mentioned the coffee in there. All of a sudden…she thought it tasted funny & didn't want to eat anymore. We called shenanigans on that – you can’t gush about how yummy something is (while food in your mouth) & then decide in the next bite that it’s no longer good! Marge agreed that even though she doesn't usually do coffee, this was a delicious exception.

Once we squared away business, Peg said she had an announcement to make. She then pulled out her version of the “Pokeno Rag”! She was the “field reporter” & Lori helped by being the “editor”. Peg wrote & read us a super sweet story about how she found an adorable kitten in her yard. He was being stalked by turkey vultures, so she brought him inside where she played “nanny” & tried to find him a good home. Funny thing about that…since we lost our “Ubi” back in February, we were looking to add another cat to our house. Peg delivered our new kitten a few weeks ago & my kids couldn't be happier. Jacob was so happy; he cried “tears of joy”! He’s been named “Ludwig von Cathoven” and is fitting into our family just fine! I even put a cute little photo of him over there on the side…

Phyllis also had a very important announcement to make…she’s very upset that she hasn't had the opportunity to call in the last 2 months! We all mocked her of course! She did wind up getting her chance to call, so at least we won’t have to listen to her whine again next time. Our hostess gave out fabulous parting gifts of flamingo drink floats. It was noted that the will work in a pool or a bathtub! We called our first cover all @ 9:30. Debi won it alone. Since her dime cup was overflowing she pulled an Oprah & gave dimes away! You get some; you get some…everyone at the table gets some! We played a few more rounds & did our final cover all @ 10. I can’t believe I have to report this, but Debi won that one all by herself too! A good time was had by all (especially Deb). Thanks again to Kate for a lovely evening @ the Tiki Bar!

MYSTERY BOX

Debi was responsible for this month's Mystery. It had a "back to school" theme. Patt was the winner! Inside the little storage crate was a tiny storage magnet (for the fridge); post it notes; hand sanitizer; pen; index cards; water bottle; tissues & a magnet that said, "sometimes I laugh so hard that the tears run down my leg!" Patt will be responsible for bringing a trick or a treat to our Halloween party. Speaking of which...

HALLOWEEN PARTY

Are you ready to do the "Monster Mash"? I hear it was a graveyard smash... Figure out what your costume's gonna be & get over to Spanky's house (conveniently located right across from the graveyard) on SATURDAY, 10/26 @ 6:00. There will be lots of tricks & treats for all!

Here's a treat... All those dimes that have been dropped on Phyllis' floor have been being collected. She was very pleased to announce during our September meeting that all those dimes have added up to $36! We all talked about it & agreed to use the money towards having our party "catered" by a local delivery place. You will have access to the menu before the party. Please go review it, let me know what you want & I can pass the orders along to Spanky who will call in our order way ahead so it will be there at game time! While $36 is quite a few dimes, it's not going to cover the entire food bill. Please bring $5 with you to cover part of your food & tip for the delivery person. Peg will be making cheesecake for dessert. Phyllis will provide snacks & beverages, but we still need sides & appetizers.

POKENO SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Debi remembered to wear her special bracelet that Phyllis gave out at the Toga Party last month. While we were sitting there, she told Phyllis how the little card charm had fallen off & this made her sad. Can it be saved? Of course it can! "Super Spanky" is here to help! Phyllis wants everyone to know that if anything happens to your bracelet, you can bring it with you to a party & she will be happy to fix it for you! It tell you...is there anything this sister can't do?

FINAL THOUGHT

I can't wait to see what all you ghouls come up with for the Halloween party! Until next time, my the foxiest bitch win!

July 2013 - Toga Party Edition

Believe it or not, it’s been 6 years since Spanky started hosting our annual Toga Party. This year was no exception! We were going to go in the pool before the party, but after we chilled out around the table for a little bit, we just decided to get our togas on & chill out some more. Eventually, we all gathered round the table to stuff our faces with all kinds of BBQ goodies, salads, snacks, cookies & donuts. I sprained my foot/ankle the day before Pokeno, but of course I still managed to make it to the party. My priorities are with my ladies…hurt foot be damned! Big thanks again to everyone for helping me out during the evening!

We started playing a little before 7. We had our first cover all @ 8, when Kate & Debi split the winnings. We played a few more rounds & did a final cover all @ 8:30 where Debi won again & split with Peg. We wrapped it up a bit before 9 because not only was I incredibly uncomfortable w/ the whole foot/ankle situation, but my husband had to do an overnight work thing. Some stayed to enjoy the pool after we wrapped it up for the night.

Once again, Spanky had a “panty raid”! Since we were 1 player short (no Marge), nobody had to take the giant bloomers! When we first started, Peg wanted to be sure the panties weren't used & were clean. Phyllis assured her that these are the same pairs of panties we've been raiding for the last few years now & they were clean! Patt was on a roll for a while (see photo evidence over there on the side), but as soon as she started boasting, she started losing panties. At the end of the night, Debi (who apparently hadn't won enough) had raided the most panties. She got a lovely floral arrangement to take home! Before we left for the night, our fantastic hostess was nice enough to pass out parting gifts. Inside our little boxes were personalized bracelets! Each one had our pledge name & a charm with our card symbol on it. I modeled mine over there on the side so you can see what an awesome job Phyllis did.

MYSTERY BAG

I was responsible for the July Mystery. There was a “picnic” theme to it. Debi was the winner! Inside the bag was: waterproof ground covering, Country Time lemonade, cups, plates, napkins, snacks, bird identification book, mini cooler, pack of cards, paper airplane, flatware, bug spray, and a bag to carry everything in. The following night, Debi & Patt went to a festival concert. Patt said the cooler was very handy to carry beverages in & they smuggled some of the snacks into the venue too. Always glad to be of help! So, Debi will have a whole month to plan her Mystery for September.

SEPTEMBER POKENO

Believe it or not – summer is almost over. We will wrap up the season where we started it…at the Tiki Bar! Get to Kate’s house on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 7^TH. The hot tub & bar will be open @ 5 if you’d like to relax a bit before playing. Otherwise, get there @ 6 to get down to business. As of right now, Kate will be providing some delicious lasagna for us to eat. I’ll update you on the rest of the grub as the party gets closer.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Snapple Fact #730 – The fear of vegetables is called lachanophobia. Lori was kind enough to find & share this with us. I’m pretty sure my 8 year old suffers from this!

Carlos Danger? You may (or not) have heard about Anthony Weiner. If not, let me fill you in…he’s a giant perv from NY. He was previously a congressman. When it was reported that he was sending naked pictures of himself to various women who weren't his pregnant wife, he resigned in disgrace. You’d think after all that, he would learn his lesson. But as a true politician, he went on to tell America how he’s a “changed man” & all that. Then he threw his hat into the ring to become mayor of NYC. That’s when it came out that he was in fact NOT changed at all & still sexting various ladies. In order to disguise his true identity, he was using the screen name “Carlos Danger”! When we were discussing this topic, Debi told me about a name generator. Here’s the link if you want to copy & paste into an internet search to figure out your own code name. Mine was “Antonio Jeopardy”!

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/low_concept/2013/07/carlos_danger_name_generator_use_our_widget_to_get_a_name_like_anthony_weiner.html

Lady of the night? Lori has been working very hard to get healthy. She’s been walking around town every evening in order to stay active/shed some pounds. Peg (being the swell friend she is) reminded Lori that “hookers get picked up walking around here”. Of course Peg was kidding. We’re all proud of you Lori, keep up the good work!

FINAL THOUGHT

It’s been 6 years since we were given our nicknames & took the official “Foxy Pledge”. Just thought I’d remind you what it says because I’m sure you've forgotten by now…

I do hereby pledge that in the presence of a Pokeno Sister I will share the following: a friendly smile; a dirty joke; good gossip; words of encouragement; my Pokeno chips (if needed). I pledge this in the name of the sisterhood known as “The Foxy Bitches”. May our dimes be plenty, our cocktails always full, our cards be winners & our spirits always high! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

June 2013

This month, we played at Lori’s house. There was lots of delicious food! Lasagna; bread sticks; bacon ranch dip; salad; fruit; assorted cookies & daisy cake. Once again, the music was great. Lori made a special summer mix to play this time. The “super moon” was out so we took a break to go check it out & take photos. That was the only clear shot we had all night. We thought it would look really cool driving home; however, it was covered by hazy clouds! Probably better to not be distracted while driving anyway…

We had a very short night this time. We started playing @ 7:00. By 8:30, Peg was too tired to go on & decided to head for home. We did our only cover all @ 9:00 (Phyllis won all by herself) & everyone left! Patt had to be somewhere early on Sunday, so her & Marge had to go. Kate wasn't feeling well. She had a migraine & actually wasn't going to come. At the last minute, she decided to put her big girl panties on, take a bunch of Excedrin chased with some caffeine & come out for the night. However, by 9, she couldn't hang in there anymore, so we left too. This may have been the shortest Pokeno game in our history. But…everyone still had a good time. As we were leaving, Lori gave us all goodies bags w/ scented fake roses, bubbles, bracelets & beachy Yankee votive candles. And, I’m very excited to report that nobody ran into the giant clock this time!

MYSTERY BAGS

Patt was responsible for June’s Mystery. Everyone picked cards. Lori had an Ace. Everyone else checked their cards & knew they couldn't beat that. I took my card & totally forgot that Peg was on my left & neglected to let her pick a card. After MUCH ado…we decided on a re-pick. This time, I got the high card. I offered to split winnings w/ Lori, but she declined.

The bags were all about “comfort”. Inside Bag #1 was a lumbar support; moisturizing socks (step 1: apply moisture); cake notepad w/ pen; envelope of chicken noodle soup; bag of micro popcorn; travel bottle of Advil; dark chocolate (I gave to Lori for all her trouble with the pick); antibacterial wet wipes; mini bottle of Southern Comfort & crossword puzzle book. Patt & Marge had a story for the contents of Bag #2. Apparently, they had been running all over the place all day looking for this particular item. After hitting many stores, they gave up. While driving back, Marge spotted the mystery item in a parking lot. Patt stopped the car so Marge could jump out & trash-pick the item. After the story was told, I was allowed to go into the bag to discover a neck pillow from the Borgata. They assured me that it could be “spot cleaned”.

JULY TOGA PARTY

For the 6^th year in a row, we will have our annual Toga Party @ Spanky’s house. Get ready to party on SATURDAY, JULY 27TH. If you’d like to swim for a bit, please bring your bathing suit/towel & get there @ 4:00. If you just wanna get down to business, please get there @ 5:00. So far the menu will consist of the usual BBQ fare: burgers, hot diggity dogs, fried tomatoes w/ gravy, fruit salad, tomato salad, pasta salad & pink lemonade bunt cake for dessert.

RANDOM FUNNY

Diversion garden? When you get to the Toga Party next month, ask Spanky to show you her garden! While we were waiting for Cosmo to show up so we could head down to Lori’s, Phyllis told me about her rabbit problem. She has peppers, tomatoes & other various plants growing in her backyard. One day, she went to check their progress (she needs those tomatoes for the Toga Party) when she realized the bunnies were eating ALL of her plants! Oh no!!!! These bunnies don’t understand…if there’s no fried tomatoes…there WILL be rioting among the Pokeno Sisters! In a moment of brilliance (or insanity…not quite sure which) – Spanky decided the only option was to plant a “diversion garden” full of goodies that bunnies like. So, she planted a bunch of carrots, lettuce, etc. in the hopes that this will work.

SHOUT OUT!

Now that summer is here & school is out, I wanted to take this moment to thank you guys for saving all those Box Tops & Labels over the last year for my kids’ school. I’m pleased to announce, that thanks to all your clipping…Jacob’s class was rewarded with a pizza party the last week of school.  Even though school’s out, you can still save them for me for next year. Thanks again!

FINAL THOUGHT

Since I don’t have anything witty to wrap up with here this month, I’ll share some useless trivia instead. Did you know that June has 3 birthstones? They are pearl, alexandrite or moonstone. June’s birth flower is the rose. Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity not too far from us on 6/15/1752. June is also “Turkey Lover’s Month” (hopefully that means they love to eat turkey & not love it in a dirty way). It’s also “National Candy Month”. Unless you’re me…and that holiday is celebrated all year long! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2013 - Luau @ the Tiki Bar Edition

It was time to kick off the summer season with our annual Luau @ the Tiki Bar! We dined on Polynesian pork; Teriyaki chicken; caprese bites; tropical fried rice; sticky bun cake & other assorted goodies. Thanks to the thunderstorms that rolled through, we weren’t able to enjoy the hot tub. We probably started somewhere around 6 (I think). Peg was a no show this month as she was already having a rough week, plus she picked up a new patient & was just too tired/worn out to come play. It was all good; we played on with the 7 of us.

Kate was playing music on her TV. We were listening to a good mix of tunes, but some of the facts & pictures showing up were just too much! First was the photo of doo-wop star Frankie Valli who looked more like a serial killer than a “Jersey Boy”. Then there was the photo of the elderly couple who were overly happy about their new catheters! What??? One fun fact we discovered was Dusty Springfield’s real name. It’s Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien. No wonder she changed it!

We did our first cover all @ 8. Phyllis won all by herself! We did the 2^nd cover all later where I won all by myself! At the end of the night, Kate passed out little bottles of nail polish & nail files with hibiscus headbands attached.

MYSTERY BASKET

Not only did she get to be “hostess with the mostess” this month, Kate was also responsible for giving a Mystery away. Patt was the winner of a basket full of manicure/pedicure goodies! There were tons of different colored polishes, files, polish remover, toe separators, even a bottle of Palmolive & soaking dish. Patt was very excited to win (even though she’s not much of a nail painter) & was making plans to take her goodies to the beach house w/ Debi for a girly nail night.

JUNE POKENO

We will play at Lori’s house once again. This time will be on SATURDAY, JUNE 22^ND @ 5:00. This is a super comfy party, so please come in your most comfortable attire. Please remember that Lori’s house gets kind of warm, so if it’s really hot that day, dress accordingly! Lori will be making lasagnas for us. You guys have to fill in the rest of the blanks – snacks/appetizers/dessert.

FINAL THOUGHT

So…there you go. That will wrap up another action packed edition of the Rag. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

Spring Has Sprung! April 2013

We had a “spring fling” @ Debi’s house this month. Marge was sick, so she did the smart thing & kept her contaminated ass at home. I mean that with love of course... Peg over-booked herself. She had a retirement party to go to that she thought was the weekend after Pokeno. The party turned out to be the same weekend, so she had to do that instead. We dined on pizza, wings, chocolate cherry crisp w/ ice cream, pot stickers, crab dip, ham ring & fresh fruit.  

This year, instead of an egg hunt, Debi set up a “flower hunt” for us. She placed various springtime flowers around her house & we all got to choose one to take home! I passed out boxes of candy & dimes w/ Cheeto carrots on top. We started playing @ 7. It was a very relaxed game…even with all the candy we were eating! We did the first cover all @ 8:30. I won all by myself! The second cover all was around 10. Kate & Debi shared that one. We all know that Juggs needed more dimes…she told us she cashed in around $25 (minus a small fee that Patt charged for using her bank) & still had a whole cup full!

MYSTERY BOX

I was responsible for the April Mystery. Kate was the winner! I managed to recycle the box & some paper (that I turned into decorations). Inside the recycled box was a basket full of pampering goodies: shower/bath stuff, hair stuff, Puff, candles, lighter w/ recycled duct tape, candy, carrot, tea, and half of the roll of dimes I won in last month’s Box. Now, Kate will be responsible for being hostess as well as providing the May Mystery. Who will win? Check back in this spot next month for the answer…

COME GET LEI’D AT THE TIKI BAR

Once again, we kick off the summer season @ Kate’s house. We’ll play SATURDAY, MAY 11^th. If you’d like to come relax in the hot tub for a little while before the game, please bring your bathing suit & get there @ 4:00. If you’d like to get right down to eating & playing, please get there @ 5:00. Thanks to modern technology, we sent text messages to the sisters who were unable to be at the table to be sure we scheduled a date that would be good for everyone! We will be dining on teriyaki chicken, Polynesian pork, tropical fried rice & tomato mozzarella bites. If you haven’t done so already, please let me know what you’d like to bring so I can update the menu.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Meowf? Before we started playing, Debi’s dog decided he was going to be nasty. I can’t remember its name, but you might recall this as being the same dog that viciously attacked Marge @ Holiday 2011. Anyway, since the puppies couldn’t play well with others, Debi kept them in another room while we played to avoid any further nastiness. While we’re sitting around the table, we start hearing this really weird “meowing” noise. We thought there was a cat trapped somewhere or something. That’s when Deb told us it’s no cat…it’s her Chihuahua Killer (the one without a taste for blood)! It went on like this for a little while. Sometimes it even sounded like he was making words! We were all astonished later when Debi told us her husband had slept through it!

Jumpy butt? Phyllis suffers from this on game day. Lori says it sounds like dog disease! No, this is a disease of excitement & joy! Spanky gets so psyched up to see everyone that she just can’t wait until game time & she gets ants in her pants…or as she so eloquently put it “jumpy butt”!

Blind Cat Crossing! Continuing with the antics of the animals of Casa de la Juggs… Before we started playing, Deb noticed that her blind cat was still outside (it was a beautiful day) & told us that she may run past us to get inside. We played for a little bit & took a break on the lido deck. Kate was standing by the door. Next thing we know, this cat comes running up & makes a bee-line for the door – which Kate opened to let the cat inside!!! We laugh & I say, “Are you sure that was Debi’s cat? What if you just let some wild stray in there?” We all start laughing even harder! Eventually it was determined that it was in fact Debi’s blind old lady cat & she was supposed to be there.

Caulk! It fixes everything! Recently, we had some bad rain roll through the area. Patt & Deb went to the beach house shortly after. It turns out there was a lot of leaking! Patt thought it would be a good idea to head over to the local home improvement store & get some supplies to fix the problem. In her ever brilliant DIY moment, she knew that caulk would fix the problems! They stocked up on caulk & other supplies, and then headed back to the house. When they got back, they were too exhausted from their outing that they wound up NOT fixing anything! Patt invited all of us down to the house for a “caulk party”! We all declined. She tried again later on in the evening & it became a running joke.

FINAL THOUGHT

Now that spring has sprung, get out there to enjoy the sunshine & warmer weather! Take time to stop & smell the flowers. I’ll be sure to take my allergy meds before I do that… Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

March 2013 - Irish Edition

After last month’s blog blunder (when I accidentally deleted all my notes), I was smarter about it this time. I got home from Pokeno & immediately sent notes to my e-mail. This way, I was sure I wouldn't lose anything. It worked, so it’s an actual full blog this time! Hooray for modern technology!

It was our first time playing @ Lori’s house. Her place was really cute & comfy…maybe a little cramped around the table (watch out for the clock!), but we managed. We also managed to eat lots of good stuff! Ham, pineapple pudding, mac & cheese, soda bread, salad, spinach dip, chocolate mousse cake, as well as other assorted candies/cookies. Future tip…if you pick up a mousse cake, it’s supposed to be kept in the fridge! The cake was still very tasty – just a bit gooey. Everyone had a very lovely evening. Lori also had some “party mix” CD’s made up. There was a good mix of stuff for everyone to jam out to.

After everyone got there, we took care of business, stuffed our faces & started first round @ 7. Everyone called quickly (without incident) & pots went even quicker. We did our first cover all @ 8. Phyllis was the lone winner. Peg wasn't feeling well, so she left after that. Kate had a hard time remembering when she was supposed to clear her card. Earlier in the evening, she wound up clearing her card after someone got a flush! Luckily, Peg got Pokeno the very next card. However, when we did the first cover all, someone got Pokeno & I hollered, “DON’T clear your cards!” Kate (sitting directly across from me) did NOT pay attention & cleared her card once again! After we all had a good laugh, we recalled the cards for her so she could catch up & not miss anything. A few cards later, Phyllis hit Postage. As she was dumping the fat pot into her change purse, Peg announced that she too had Postage. After the cover all, they tried to do math & figure out how to split the winnings. There wasn't a fist fight or anything, so I guess they got it all squared away!

When Peg left, we settled in to play our 2^nd round. About 20 minutes later, Peg showed back up. We thought she was back to play, but alas, that was not to be. Actually, she got back to her house & noticed her phone was missing. She thought she left it @ the party. We tried calling her phone to hear it ringing…nope. We even went outside to help her look in the driveway/van…nope. Peg decided to go back home & look some more. We planned to call her in 15 minutes to help. We knew it would be 15 minutes because the grandfather clock would chime. Surprisingly, there were a few ladies who didn't notice it’s been going off the whole time we've been here.  Before we got to the 15 minute mark – Peg called back to let us know she found her phone…in her bathroom. Geez! At least she found it after all that! She settled in to relax/sleep & we continued on with the game. We had our 2^nd cover all at 9:45. Patt won all by herself & was very happy to be able to refill her coin pail.

MYSTERY BOX

Not only did Lori host the party this month, but she was also in charge of the Mystery! I told Lori that I had to win because there was a big bunch of Gerber daisies on top & they’re my favorite!  Turns out, it was meant to be as I pulled a King to score the big win. This month’s box had a “girl power” theme. Inside were 8 gifts to represent each sister. At first I thought this was another of those share the Mystery contents w/ your sisters, but no…it’s all mine…ha, ha, ha! Inside the giant box was: 2 packages of Girl Scout cookies, mini calculator, sparkly hat, floral arrangement, neon pink duct tape, key chain,  sparkly pink coin purse (w/ a roll of dimes inside), hand sanitizer & some glitter makeup. Now I have to think of something to give away to the next lucky sister. I wonder who the winner will be for April…

APRIL POKENO

We will have our “Spring Fling” @ Debi’s house on SATURDAY, APRIL 6^th @5:00. It will be a happy appy party, so please bring your favorite appetizer to share with the group. So far, we have pot stickers; ham ring & fruit salad. Also, in the event that Debi decides to have another egg hunt this time…no early hunting or peeking!!!

SHOUT OUTS

Shout Out #1: At the end of February, Patt had some reconstructive surgery to repair damage caused from her battle with breast cancer. Nobody faces a battle without getting a scar or two!  Surgery went very well. “Nurse Marge” stayed @ Patt’s house for a few days to help her out (no lifting, no driving, etc.). Pokeno was the first time she’d been out, so we kept checking to be sure she was feeling alright. She’s still a bit achy, but that’s to be expected. She also offered (on a few occasions) to show off her “noobs” (new boobs) to anyone who was interested. However, I don’t think anyone took her up on that offer. Congrats on the successful surgery! We’re all glad you’re feeling better! Enjoy shopping for new bras at a regular store!

Shout Out #2: I saved the best for last! This month, a super duper, extra loud shout out goes to our hostess with the mostess…Sister Giggles! I couldn’t be more pleased to announce that as of this month, Lori is now officially 1 year sober! Woo hoo!!! I know I speak for the rest of the sisters when I say how proud we all are of your accomplishment! Keep up the good work – stay strong! You can do it!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Whose fault is it anyway? Most of us were had a buddy during the game (as usual). But, we kept having pots be short by 1. Turned out it was Debi’s fault. So, Patt proposed that in the future, if any of the pots are short – it’s automatically Debi’s fault! Since she’s got plenty of dimes, she won’t miss a few!

It went where? At some point during the party, Debi was enjoying a nice glass of wine. Unfortunately, her sip went horribly wrong & she started choking. When we asked if she was ok, Deb’s response was, “Yea, it just went down the wrong throat!” We weren’t aware that she had more than one… We all laughed really hard at this one. Then Debi said, “Isn’t that what you say?” We corrected her & said it should be “wrong pipe” or whatever.

FINAL THOUGHT

I look forward to seeing you all at the "Spring Fling" in April! Please allow me to wrap this up with an Irish Wish: May you always have a sunbeam to warm you, good luck to charm you, laughter to cheer you & a sheltering angel so nothing can harm you. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

January 2013 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

So, I got a really cool tablet for Christmas from my husband. I was so excited to bring the Pokeno Rag into the 21^st century by taking notes on there instead of my tried & true pen/paper method. You know what that got me? I sat down to start blogging. I typed 1 line. I went to delete what I thought was only 1 line in my notes. It turned out that I actually deleted the entire entry! So…since I’m working off the top of my head, this should be interesting. Sit back & enjoy my wandering thoughts…there won’t be many.

The first party of 2013 was a comfy party. Everyone came in jammies/sweats/etc. The weather people were calling for “significant snow” the day of our party. Rather than have everyone risk the storm (they said we were gonna get), we decided to change venues & move the party to Marge’s place. It made more sense for everyone to drive 30 mins or less (except for Patt) than to pack everyone up, drive all the way to PA & hope the roads would be alright. As it turned out, the “storm” wasn't very bad at all. But, it’s always better to be safe than sorry!

We ordered food & Phyllis made a lovely snowflake cake. There were even decorative silver balls on there. I had the word written down, but it got deleted. Phyllis said she learned the word from Miss Piggy (of all sources)! We thought our food was here, so Marge went downstairs to meet him. Marge left the door cracked when she left. Sassy the dog saw this as a good opportunity to take a walk. When we noticed she was missing, Peg started down the hall after her. I went to help. For a dog w/ such tiny legs that she needs steps to get into bed (that she doesn't use) & a stroller for walks – she sure was quick! I did my best impersonation of “The Flash” & hauled ass down the hallway to catch the runaway dog. I found her at the elevator. I picked her up & she proceeded to piss all over me! This is the thanks I get for saving you? I carry the little furry piss bag back to the apartment & try to clean myself up. Peg says, “Did you bring a change of clothes?” Just like most of you…I do NOT bring spare clothes in my Pokeno bag! Maybe this should be a word for the wise in the future – you never know what might happen, so you might wanna bring a backup plan! Anyway, I dried off the dog pee & borrowed Patt’s Tide-to-go pen. Luckily, she still had it handy after spilling Vampire merlot on her shirt! The pen covered up the smell for a little bit, but by the time I got home, I smelled slightly better than a port-o-potty & immediately ran upstairs to change.

Not only did I get pissed on, but I also got dry humped by my aunt! Marge was playing her new stereo that some wonderful people got her for Christmas. Not sure what channel she was listening to, but they were doing double shots. This was all well & good until Marvin Gaye came on. The song was “Sexual Healing”. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but my immature brain can’t handle this song.  Every time I hear it, I bust out with a terrible case of the giggles. So, I’m sitting in my spot – chuckling to myself when everyone starts asking what’s so funny. I told them I can’t handle the song. That’s when Patt thought it would be a good idea to hump my arm. I feel so violated! Now I’ll really never be able to listen to that song the same way again!

Debi won a bunch more dimes this month. I think she may have won the first cover all? Or was it the second? Maybe both? Damn tablet… Either way, she won a bunch & we got disgusted, so we flipped off her & her stinking dimes! I swear, Debi’s gonna be able to retire on some nice beach somewhere & it will all be funded by our dimes… So, we played one round, then Peg & Lori left. The rest of us stayed & played on for a little while longer, wrapping up the party around 9:30 or so. It seemed everyone had a good time (except for me – thanks to all the pissing & humping) and we went on our merry ways until the next party.

MYSTERY BOX

Peg gave out the first Mystery of 2013. Lori was the winner! It was a super cute plaid box chock full of snacks! Now Lori will do double duty of hosting & providing the Mystery for March.

MARCHING INTO MARCH

We attempted to plan a party for February. However, it seemed that everyone was busy & we just couldn't get our schedules to sync up again until March. For the first time ever, Lori has offered up her place to play! So, get your green on & head over to Lori’s house on SATURDAY, MARCH 9 @ 5:00 for a St. Patty’s Pokeno. I will provide her address & phone number in a separate e-mail so you can get directions from wherever you’re coming from. Lori will be making ham; Patt will do (everyone’s favorite) pineapple pudding; I’m doing spinach dip (because it’s green); Kate will be making Irish soda bread; Peg’s making her delicious mac & cheese; Phyllis is bringing fixin’s for a salad bar; Marge will bring snacks & Debi will pick up some sort of dessert on her way to the party.

FINAL THOUGHT

Now that I know how to work my tablet (don’t delete anything until I’m totally done & send a backup to my e-mail acct), the Rag for March should be a bit better put together (I hope). My apologies for not covering all the news that was fit to print. Maybe you remember some of the highlights…or not…probably not. I know a lot of you depend on the Rag to fill you in on stuff that you missed. So, hopefully you didn't miss anything important! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!