May 2011

This month, we celebrated a pre-Memorial Day BBQ @ Cosmo’s house. Unfortunately, Peg couldn’t join us this time, but she’ll be back for the tea party. We dined on lots of wonderful things: mussels; pasta salad; tortellini kebobs; cake; pie; cookies; cold drinks on tap; hot dogs; and shrimp skewers. Kate provided a table full of colorful buckets w/ tiki lighters (that looked dirty) & pretty floral hairclips. Some of us used them to put up our hair as it was quite warm. The hot tub was set up, but only Patt went in during our half time break. She was relaxing while Debi was kicking Phyllis’ ass at some lawn darts. After the outdoor activities, we came back in to stuff ourselves some more w/ all the dessert goodies! Lori baked a red velvet cake that she personalized w/ Pokeno chips & our names! I grabbed some goodies & went back downstairs. I thought everyone was following, but I was wrong. Anyway, while I was down there, I overheard, “You have to turn the pot ON for the coffee to actually brew!” Always a helpful tip! At the end of the night, more than one of the Pokeno Sisters was complaining about tummy aches from eating too much deliciousness!

One interesting thing about the evening - according to some religious wing nuts somewhere – it was going to be the rapture/end of the world! What better place to be than in the basement w/ your friends & family? As you can see by the writing of this blog thingy here - it didn’t happen! But, it made for lots of jokes & giggles throughout the evening.

Patt decided to play some wacky version of beer pong & tried to bounce a balled up napkin into Marge’s cup @ the other end of the table. That plan didn’t work at all & the wad actually plopped into Phyllis’ drink! Patt tried again later, we all covered our drinks. It turned into another running joke of the night.

There was lots of drama before Spanky’s call! She was one of the last people to call, so it was later in the evening & she was VERY antsy by this point! Lori went to pour a drink when it spilled all over the table/cards/floor/Patt! Oh no! Flagged! We frantically rush to get paper towels & clean up the mess, when here come the dogs to help! Dogs probably shouldn’t be drinking vodka... I proceeded to scoop up the dogs & run them upstairs. I shut the door, come back down & Kate tells me, “You know, they can get through the cat door…” 15 mins & many paper towels later, Phyllis finally got her chance to call. Spanky won the first cover all of the night. I didn’t note who won the 2nd. Maybe you remember…maybe it was you? I can assure you it was NOT me!

MYSTERY PACKAGE

It’s NOT in a box! So, therefore & henceforth it will be known this month as a “package”. It turned out that birthday magic was in the house instead of “hostess luck” because Debi won Marge’s gift! Marge prefaced the giveaway by telling us if we didn’t want it, we could pass or whatever. This made everyone think it was gonna suck! But, underneath the sports section of the paper (which Debi had to stop & read) was a hand-stitched “God Bless America” cross-stitch sampler. Everyone thought it was really cool & Deb was very lucky to win! I wonder what she’ll bring for the Tea Party Mystery. I guess we’ll see in July! And, now onto that bit of business…

A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!

Don’t be late for our annual birthday Tea Party @ Patt’s house! Well, at least try not to be… This year, we will be celebrating on SATURDAY, 7/9 @ 2:00. Everyone was too busy in June to agree on a date, so we just pushed the party to July. As usual, please come dressed for tea & bring your gift!

Speaking of gifts…we had to pick Pollyanna for this event. We knew well in advance that Peg wasn’t coming, so we made arrangements w/ her via text. We’re SO 21st century around here! Debi helped me figure out a plan to ensure that Peg wouldn’t get herself – I just wouldn’t put her in! Brilliant! Only, I dropped her slip into the pile after filling it out & totally messed up the plan! Geez! I fished back through the pile & scooped her out so we could carry on as planned. It was smooth sailing from there & we all got our people! Speaking of birthdays…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We had 2 lovely Pokeno sisters celebrating birthdays this month. It was Marge & Debi! Thanks to Lori donating an extra tiara to the bag, we had 1 crown for each lady! Debi’s tiara brought her super powers! It won her the Mystery & it helped her call well!

STUFF THAT SUCKS

#1 – LG products! Debi told us that as she’s finishing up her kitchen remodel, she purchased some new appliances. All from LG. Apparently, there’s been nothing but problems w/ the dishwasher & fridge since they were installed! She recommends you don’t make the same mistake in your own home.

#2 – Shamwow! You may (or may not) remember, 2 birthday parties ago…Debi had Kate for Pollyanna. She thought it would be funny to gift Kate her very own Shamwow in honor of her fabulous Halloween costume. Kate used it & threw it in w/ laundry to clean it. She put it in the dryer & wow indeed! It shrunk to a fraction of its original size! She called it a “Sham-don’t”!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Tighter & Whiter? It’s not really that bad… we were talking about dying your hair & that was Beauty School Spanky’s take on going blond. We were all remarking on how nice Patt’s blond looked. That led to another conversation about never dying your hair in anger! It only ends up w/ you spending too much time & money in the salon to have a professional fix it!

Burning Bush! I mentioned previously that Cosmo gave us all some fabulous tiki lighters. Patt was sitting (in her bathing suit – she’s not naked!) & playing w/ her lighter trying to figure out how to light it when we realized it was upside down & she was about to set her incredibly flammable 2 piece on fire! Good thing this was prior to Patt getting vodka spilled all over her, or it could’ve been even worse! Stop, drop & roll - it’s not a hot flash; you’re actually on fire…

For Hire! Spanky offered up a new service -“Professional Pokeno Consultant”. She says if you need her to call, she’ll assist! I’m not sure if there are any other uses/duties/tasks for a “Pokeno Consultant”, but she only wants to use you to get herself to call quicker anyway!

Ass Noises! No, it wasn’t really from your butt & had absolutely nothing to do w/ “butt stuff”. Some of us were barefoot & when your foot rubbed the table, it would make a sound like you were passing gas. The chairs were making noises too! However, none of these noises compared to the actual ass-blasting that took place over @ the bar…you know who you were…

THIS IS THE END

There was lots of fun in May! It will be a while until we meet again, but hopefully that will just make our birthday/tea party even more exciting! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!