December 2011

Everyone gets lei’d @ the Tiki Bar – even on Christmas! But more about that in the next section… A good time was had by most. We dined on not 1, not 2, but 3 – yes, count ‘em – 3 different kinds of lasagna (cheese, beef, beef & sausage); a tasty pitcher of beverages; salad bar; loaf of Italian bread; fruit & veggie trays; cookies; snacks; a “yellow snow” snowman & cupcakes. Debi noted that she was brave enough to eat the “yellow snow” (after samurai Spanky hacked him into bite-sized pieces), and it tasted “delicious”!

Phyllis won the 1^st cover all by herself! Then, she split it w/ Marge on the final cover all of the night. After approximately 15 years, the butter dish that Marge kept her chips in was cracked so badly that the chips were ready to fall out into the official Pokeno tote bag. I just happened to have a lovely (durable) tea tin in my basement that was looking for good use; Marge’s chips were looking for a good home. It was perfect! At first she was skeptical, but after she hit a few pots, she thought it was turning out to be lucky instead. Also having a lucky streak was Peg. During one round, it was noted that she won 4 out of 6 pots! Two of those pots were a fat 4 corners & postage.

Present re-cap! Apparently, we were a bunch of good girls this year, because we all got some really great stuff! As is Pokeno tradition, we took a break from the festivities after 1^st cover all to pass out gifts. We do it this way to ensure that people don’t just come to get their goodies & leave. You’re forced to endure our “torture” for a little while before getting your big pay off! Bribery!!! Since Kate was the hostess, she started passing out gifts first. She had Phyllis this year. Her gift was for “work & play” – a set of nesting doll measuring cups & a WTF stamp. The stamp was passed around the table like a dirty whore & each of us (some more than others) used it on our cards. Phyllis had Debi. Inside her bag was an enormous bottle of wine & “ooh la la” card w/ rechargeable batteries. Debi had Marge. She got perfume, candles, Christmas socks, a Christmas decoration & $5. Marge had Kate. She got a box full of hand-crafted stuff. Three “cookie” ornaments & a hand-tied ribbon wreath. Marge said Kate was lucky that she was her secret Santa, because if Kate had one of the less crafty girls, she’d be screwed! Patt had Lori. She got a joy/peace/love dark chocolate bar & Yankee Candle w/ snowman decoration. Lori had Patt. She got a Christmas cookie scented candle & a Santa tin full of goodies. Then it was down to Peg & I who had each other for the 2^nd year in a row! I gave Peg a candle & sparkly purple clutch filled w/ Victoria’s Secret Love Spell stuff. Peg gave me a candy-wrapped bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee, 2 bottles of Bath & Body Works lotion, and some delicious peppermint bark. Everyone was pleased with their gifts! Thanks again to everyone for your patience, participation & being such good “Santas”.

MYSTERY BOX

Lori was in charge of the holiday Mystery. I think we may be onto something here…for the 2^nd time in a row when Lori was the presenter, I was the winner! See, I don’t win for almost 2 years straight & now I win ‘em back to back! Anyway, this was an interesting Mystery. First up was a bag. Inside was a Foxy photo that Lori put together using past Christmas photos, all of our names & a nice little saying, plus a Christmas cat salt & pepper shaker set. Then I moved onto the box. When I opened the box, I felt like Santa! Inside was a bunch of gifts for each of the ladies! There were leis for all, plus assorted goodies bags filled w/ candles, key chains, knick knacks, lighters, candy, dimes & probably some other stuff I didn’t note. It looks like I’ll be responsible for the first Mystery of the year!

RING IN 2012

We will be partying like it’s 2012 at Chateau Debi on SATURDAY, 1/21. Please arrive anytime after 5:00. This will be our “appetizer fest”, so plan your favorite dish accordingly. Debi will provide ham & cheese sammies, Phyllis is bringing pot stickers & pizzelles, Lori will bring pepperoni, cheese & crackers, I’ll be putting a twist on the traditional cheese ball by making a sweet version with chocolate chips! Bring your noisemakers & party hats and get ready to ring in the New Year with some of your favorite females!

RANDOM FUNNIES

A dancing what??? Kate’s dog Charlie was trying to get out of the basement through the pet door, but he was having a bit of trouble. Patt was seated at the end of the table closest to the steps when she heard Charlie making a ruckus. She looked over & started cracking up. That’s when she said, “Look! It’s a dancing butt hole”! Yes, in fact it did look just like that! We had a good chuckle & Charlie eventually made it through the door…butt hole & all!

Snapple Fact #685 – Continuing with the dog jokes…thanks to Lori for this cap. Did you know that dogs can only make about 10 sounds, while cats can make about 100?

TV Trivia! For our listening enjoyment, Kate had the Christmas Carol channel on her big screen. For those of us facing the TV, we could see the trivia factoids scrolling across the bottom. Here are some facts that I had time to crane my neck (I was not facing the TV) & jot down real quick: 1 - Poinsettia translates to “flower of the night”. 2 – J. Edgar Hoover was born on New Year’s Day. 3 – In Poland, they get/give gifts twice in December! 4 – In France, they leave shoes in front of the fireplace for Père Noël to fill with goodies (hopefully they use new shoes & not stinky old ones!) And now, with your new-found knowledge, you’re all set for “Final Jeopardy”! When you get there, be sure to tell Alex Trebek he looked better with the moustache!

SHOUT OUT

I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate Grandma Debi on the birth of her first grandson. Loghan James was born to Debi’s youngest daughter in Florida a few weeks ago. The proud grandma was there for his arrival. He came in at 21 inches long & 8 ½ pounds. Mom & baby are doing well. Well enough in fact to drive all the way up here from FL a week later for Debi to host a christening! Good thing our party was the night before, Debi just took all the leftovers with her for the next day!

THIS IS THE END

Once again, here we are at the end of another year. We’ve had 11 parties & I’ve sat down 11 times to remind you what happened. Here’s my last one of 2011. I raise an imaginary toast to all of you & wish my sisters health, happiness & lots of dimes in 2012! Until next year, may the foxiest bitch win!

November 2011

We rounded up our posses & rode on over to Patt’s house for some holiday cheer – or as is the case with Thanksgiving, we ate goodies until we were ready to burst! Not that we need Pilgrims & Indians as an excuse to stuff ourselves, we do that every month anyway! For our Thanksgiving feast, we had: turkey, salad, sweet & twice baked potatoes, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole & apple crisp sundaes for dessert. Patt had the house decorated for our party. There was a sign on the front door to greet us & a lovely foam centerpiece that was assembled shortly before we got there. There were fires burning to make it extra cozy. Marge made apple pilgrim party favors & Patt gave out candles.

Patt had a floral turkey arrangement for the first person to win four corners. That person was me! I took my turkey home, put him on my dining room table & went to bed. The next morning, my boys came downstairs. Jacob thought it was cute. Nathan thought it was a duck & started quacking at it!

Lori just returned from New Orleans a few days before Pokeno. She thought she’d be okay for Pokeno, but jet lag caught up with her & she wound up leaving before we started playing. She was supposed to call first, but since she left, we were left with a dilemma…who would call? Quick to step in during our time of need was Phyllis who took Lori’s chair so she could call first. While we were playing, Patt decided not to call. Instead of passing the cards to the next person – she skipped over Kate & handed the cards to Phyllis! I know she’s a good caller & all, but geez! Kate did in fact want her turn to call, so she did. This gave Phyllis the opportunity to call the final cover all of the night & 2 times in the same game! She was super excited! Marge decided to leave @ 7:30 (we did final cover all @ 8). She ran out, leaving her space with card & chips intact. Bob walked by & Phyllis invited him to join us. He claimed to not have any dimes, but Patt spotted him. We thought she was just being nice until we realized this is an excellent opportunity for her to double her winnings…well played madam! Phyllis & I helped Bob play. He had some beginners luck & did surprisingly well! Debi won the first cover all & I won the second one.

We managed to do our Secret Santa picking without a hitch! I tried to be cool by putting the slips on red & green paper in the hopes that we might remember what color you had & NOT pick yourself when it was time. However, some of you forgot & Lori managed to pick her own slip – but caught it in time to put it back & re-pick! Also a quick note, for whoever has Peg, she wanted to change one of her items. She asked for an electric mixer, but she got one from her neighbor. Now she’d like to request Love Spell lotion from Victoria’s Secret instead.

MYSTERY BOX

I was responsible for this month’s Mystery Box & Bag. Since I’ve had the last 21 months to prepare, I had quite the package (that’s what she said). Lori was the winner of my “Lazy Day” Mystery. Since she was just responsible for the Mystery in October, she thought for a minute about passing, but decided to keep it anyway. It contained a pan; pot holder; kitchen utensils; pancake mix; syrup; coffee; tea; cocoa; mugs; Velveeta dinner kit; candle; slippers; toiletries; shirt & hat. Everything you need for a chilly fall/winter day to curl up inside & relax.

MELE KALIKIMAKA

It’s the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day - that's the island greeting that we send to you from the land where palm trees sway! Thanks Bing, I’ll take it from here…it seems like just the other day we were having our “summer kickoff”. But, now the weather is getting cooler & it’s time to have a little yuletide fun! Santa knows if you’ve been naughty or nice & he doesn’t count Pokeno gatherings! Head over to the Tiki Bar on SATURDAY 12/17 @ 5:00 to celebrate the holidays with your Pokeno Sistas. Please remember to bring your gift!

RANDOM FUNNY

Chicken Dance! Kate had compiled a CD for our ride over to Patt’s. However, it turns out that my outdated (2006) car stereo doesn’t play MP3’s. While we were sitting around the table, we thought we could use some tunage. Kate says, “Aha! I have this!”, and pulled out the CD for Patt to play. Most of the songs on there were really funny to Kate, Phyllis & I, but not so much to the rest of the table. Not everyone enjoys Iron Maiden…sigh... Anyway, while we were listening, the “Chicken Dance” came on. Some of us started cracking up & actually did the dance. Patt said enough of this & flipped the “bird” before popping out the CD & putting on her own slightly depressing play list.

THIS IS THE END

I’m thankful for my super swell husband & 2 adorable boys - that sometimes make me question my sanity. I’m also thankful that I have my Pokeno sistas to give me a monthly break from my husband & boys to regain my sanity once again! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

October 2011

It was another spooky Halloween @ Spiderella’s house. Or, for the 2011 version - Medusa’s house! We dined on ravioli, garlic knots, mummy dogs, spooky punch, chocolate covered stuff, fudge, cookies & cupcakes. About those cupcakes…while they were delicious & Lori had good intentions, what were supposed to be bats actually turned out looking more like turkeys! Please refer to the photo over there on the right side of the page. Phyllis had a game for us to play. It was “guess how many eyeballs are in the jar”. We passed the jar around to guestimate. There were 47 in the jar & Kate was the winner with her guess of 53. She got a sparkly Happy Halloween sign. Everyone had a good time. Even better was the fact that we were at Spanky’s this time without a hurricane! It's a good thing we scheduled Pokeno for the week we did, because the following Saturday – it snowed! Towns a few hours away got over a foot of snow! Luckily, we only got a dusting & by Sunday afternoon it was gone.

Patt brought Power Ball tickets for everyone. She said, if we win - we have to share! I checked my ticket when I sat down to compose this month’s blog. I would like to announce that I had the Power Ball number, which means we win a whopping $3! I’ll bring it to split at the Thanksgiving party – it breaks down to about 35 cents per person…so no cruise for us!

I mentioned up there that our hostess was dressed as bad-ass Medusa this year. The other costumes for Halloween 2011 were Dirty Sanchez (Kate); a little old lady (Marge); hippie (Peg); court jester (Patt); Queen (Debi); gypsy (Lori); and me as an unlicensed super heroine. Peg passed out flowers & love beads to everyone. Lori had glow bracelets to share. Phyllis gave out goodie bags with all kinds of yummy home-made goodies & Halloween socks. I gave everyone goodie bags & cookies. You never leave empty handed from our parties! Patt won all but 1 pot (Lori got center) while calling the first cover all of the night! She won so much in fact, that she busted out the side of her change cup! Good thing she has all those winnings to put toward the purchase of a new container! Debi & Phyllis split the second cover all.

MYSTERY BOX

Gypsy Lori was responsible for bringing the Mystery this month. When she walked in the door, she looked at me & said, “I’ve seen your future”! I said, “Does it have a Mystery Box”? The gypsy said yes & we laughed! We passed cards around to pick the winner. I look at my 8 and think, oh well another month of being a loser… Then we realize my 8 is actually the highest card & for the first time in 21 months I won the “Trick or Treat” themed Mystery. Inside the recycled box were various Halloween goodies & some bugs/rodents/creepy crawlies.

GOBBLE GOBBLE

We will once again have our Thanksgiving party over at Patt’s house on SATURDAY, 11/19 @ 3:00. Patt will be serving turkey, Phyllis is making twice baked potatoes, Lori’s doing the green bean casserole, I’m baking apple crisp. Plan your dish accordingly & come hungry!

RANDOM FUNNY

Not even close! Early in the evening, after Marge first showed up, Kate, Phyllis & I were talking about a movie. Marge pipes in & says, “Oh, the Rocky Mountain Horror Show?” We all busted up laughing! Um, no, that would be the “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. Good old country boy John Denver & Tim Curry are two totally different (and I can’t stress different enough) people!

RULES OF HALLOWEEN

With Halloween upon us, remember these simple rules to help keep the season happy & safe! Please follow these helpful hints each & every year!!!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead…because he’s not. Run away now. Run quickly & don’t look back!
2. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
3. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
4. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
5. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
6. If you're running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female.
7. If your friends suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, blood lust, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness and so on, kill them immediately.
8. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
9. If you find out your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move out. This also applies to houses that had previous owners who went insane, committed suicide, died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic rituals.
10. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs, women should not wear a flimsy negligee.

THIS IS THE END

Follow the above rules. I’ll be hiding in my zombie apocalypse shelter until at least November 2nd. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

September 2011

Farewell summer 2011! The leaves on my tree are starting to fall & 1 outta my 2 kids are back in school. Must mean it’s time to get your hula on @ the Tiki Bar! Kate crafted up shrinky dink chips for all of us w/ our official secret sister identity on them. Very cool! Check the photo on the side over there to see who got what. Everyone was actually on time this month! Holy crap! The hot tub was available (although Kate & I were the only ones who took advantage of it's relaxing bubbles), there were drinks on tap, and it was an all around lovely evening. We dined on ham, pineapple pudding, spinach dip, crabby mushrooms, dried fruit, nuts, pasta salad, trail mix, and aloha bars.

Other fun points of the evening: I kept spilling change every time I went to pass the cup/change to Debi. One time it even went all over the floor! Peg asked Roger to make coffee way early in the evening. Halftime rolled around & there still wasn’t any coffee. This prompted Peg to ask Charlie if he could make some coffee. Unfortunately, his furry little paws make it difficult to work the buttons! Lori hit the first cover all of the night, thus overflowing her change container. Leading up to the 2nd cover all, Debi won 4 pots in a row & Patt won the cover all. Hostess luck did not pay off for Kate who ended the evening w/ a nearly empty change purse.

MYSTERY BOX

Not only was Kate the hostess, but she was also responsible for the September Mystery as well. Lori was the lucky winner this month! In the house-shaped box was a tropical plant in a donkey planter & a Hawaiian candle. I wonder what kind of spooky Mystery Lori will come up with.

HALLOWEEN-O FESTIVITIES

It’s the spookiest time of the year! Once again, get over to Spanky’s house for our annual Halloween Party on SATURDAY, 10/22 @ 6:00. Costumes are mandatory, so plan your outfit now & get ready for lots of treats!

FRIENDLY REMINDER

I know nobody wants to think about Christmas yet, but the other “annual” part of our Halloween Party is picking Secret Santa slips for our Holiday party. There is a $25 limit, so please try to think of 3 things you’d like to have whether you’ve been naughty or nice! This way, if you think about it early, you might not get writer’s block @ the table when it’s time to fill out your slip.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Snapple Fact #785 (submitted by Lori) – The fastest growing nail is on your middle finger! Funny, because that’s usually my shortest nail even though it’s the finger I use the most!

THIS IS THE END

“Mooka lok akiki come on you wanna lei me! Pass the poi! Ma halo!” – Wayne & Garth. Party on! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

August 2011

Usually, we all look forward to our annual Toga Party @ Spanky’s. Unfortunately, this year, we had a party crasher! Her name was “Irene”! A few days before our party, the news started telling us scary stories about rain, flooding, winds, etc. Friday through Saturday afternoon, we watched the news as the storm got closer. We moved the time to have an early start @ 4. It was already raining all day, so any idea of relaxing in the pool was quickly washed out! Amazingly enough, all 8 of us made it to the party! Kate left after about an hour or so…just enough time to make drinks (hurricanes of course!), eat, win the Mystery & split! The 7 of us played on. I had to take over calling duties which made Phyllis happy because that meant she was next!

We dined on pulled pork sammiches, cole slaw, fried tomatoes, orzo pasta salad, fruit salad, cupcakes & other various snacks. We only played 3 rounds with Patt calling the Cover All at the 6:30 mark. Peg & I split the pot for $7 each. We took a break for coffee & dessert. Marge left. We kicked around the idea of playing another round, but Patt & Debi wanted to roll out. Peg, Lori & I hung out for about ½ hr & left. Everyone got home safely & avoided the worst of the storm! At the end of the night, Spanky handed out parting gifts to everyone. They were mini hurricane survival bags that included: a bottle of water, a rain poncho, a candle & a lighter! You can’t say we weren’t prepared! After all was said & done, we got a lot of wind & rain, some places got flooded, lots of downed tree branches, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the weather people predicted. Here’s to surviving Irene!

MYSTERY BAG

As previously noted in the opening section, the Mystery this month went from Patt to Kate. The theme was home entertaining/hurricane survival. There was a set of card design plates, napkins, cups & tablecloth. This will come in handy for the September party! Funny story about these items…Patt found them in a store on clearance. The cashier didn’t know how to ring up the order, so he gave her the whole lot for $2.50. This left Patt w/ 50 cents change (in dimes) which she also tossed into the bag! The rest of the bag included a heavy duty rain poncho, damp rid, flashlight, candles, an all-purpose stick (glowing/flashlight/whistle), and a pack of cards to have something to do in case the power went out!

TIKI BAR LUAU

I can’t believe it’s the end of summer already! It seems like just the other day we were kicking summer off @ the Tiki Bar, and now…we’re waving goodbye! Please come to Kate’s house SATURDAY 9/17 @ 6:00. Weather permitting – the hot tub will be open!

EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS

With an unheard of earthquake hitting our area on Tuesday (we are still on the East Coast, right?) & Irene blowing in over the weekend, we had to have a discussion about what to do in the future if we have another weather emergency on Pokeno day. It seemed like a million phone calls went between my house & Phyllis! Not to mention mass text messages to the rest of you! Thank goodness for an unlimited data plan!

So, here’s what we all decided to do in the future…

Step 1: Adjust the starting time. If it looks like bad weather will be hitting in the evening, we will move the start time to earlier in the day (like we did this time). If that doesn’t work…we go to plan B.

Step 2 (or Plan B): Change the date. In the event of a blizzard, hurricane, earthquake, fire, locusts, plague, zombies, etc, we will reschedule the party all together. The only problem w/ trying to reschedule the date is sometimes people only have a day or 2 available that month which would push that party into the following month, which might eventually lead us to having Xmas on St. Patty’s Day! The date reschedule will be the last resort for emergency planning.

Above all else, safety is the most important thing! Use your common sense/gut instinct. If you don’t feel comfortable braving the storm or zombie apocalypse, DON’T COME OUT!!! I can’t stress this enough! Your attendance is NOT mandatory. Of course it would suck if you didn’t come because we like being together (most of the time) & we would miss you, but we all understand that some people have a long drive, and others just don’t like zombies... So, one more time, if you don’t feel safe driving – don’t do it! And, if you DO insist on coming out (even after people have
told you not to), don’t whine about it after you get to the party!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Five of a Kind? Or What’s It Called? For the record, it’s called a “flush”! This is when you get 5 of the same suit. I think Lori asked what it was called & Patt yelled 5 of a kind as she was trying to count & call cards at the same time!

Oh! The Frightening Places You’ll Go! During Phyllis’ call she said, “I had to go back in my mind!” Is that as scary to the rest of you as it is to me? I don’t think I’d like to go into the dark, deep recesses of Spanky’s frontal lobe…

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

#1 – Happy Birthday! We have 2 lovely ladies celebrating birthdays in August. Sister Cosmo was at the beginning of the month. Sister Giggles celebrated a few days before our Hurricane Party!

#2 – Happy Anniversary! My how the time flies! With all the craziness that was this month’s game, I totally forgot to announce that this was Lori’s 2nd anniversary as an official Pokeno member! Way to go Giggles, you’ve survived all the wackiness that is Pokeno!

GOT POOL HAIR?

There's nothing better than taking a dip in the pool on a hot summer day, but chlorine & chemicals can be harsh/damaging to your hair. This potion will protect your locks - and help blonde hair from turning green.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons baking soda
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon mild shampoo
*Yields 2 ounces -- enough for one treatment

Mix together all ingredients until well blended. Wet hair and massage the mixture onto your hair & scalp, making sure ends are coated. Cover hair with a plastic bag or shower cap and leave on for 30 minutes. Rinse hair well and shampoo as usual.

THIS IS THE END

So, we survived 2 natural disasters in one week! Pshew! Let’s hope Mother Nature’s done with her need to strike down upon us with great vengeance and furious anger so we can have a nice, sunny, happy Luau! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

July 2011

Once again, it was time to put on our fancy clothes & head over to Patt’s for the Birthday Tea Party! Everyone looked lovely. Most of us showed up in black & white outfits with pink undies! Great minds really do think alike (wink)! Everyone was in attendance! This is important, because earlier in the week, Cosmo got a last minute invite to a family wedding. She needed to chauffer her elderly grandparents. You can’t fault her for that, right? So, we made arrangements to cover her. Phyllis made her sandwiches and I would transport the gift that her hubby had to drop off @ my house Saturday morning! No sooner did the hubby return home when Kate’s getting off the phone w/ her aforementioned elderly gramma. Kate called to square up last minute travel plans. That’s when Gran told her the wedding isn’t until the end of the month! At least someone in Kate’s family is a steel trap! Maybe Kate’s memory will get better with age? It was nice to have her (even at the last minute), but she was also a running joke of the day… “Yea, well you weren’t supposed to be here anyway!”

My rockin’ car-load rolled up @ 2 on the nose. Peg & Lori showed up about ½ hour after us. Not like that mattered…by the time we all sat around, ate, chatted, etc, I don’t think we started playing till at least an hour after that! Peg got seated last – next to Spanky! Isn’t there a rule that they’re supposed to be separated? Hmm… They didn’t seem to cause too much trouble during the day. We dined on assorted mini-sandwiches; blueberry muffin tops; sugar cookies; chocolate chip zucchini bread; salad bar; fruit salad & BBQ chicken breasts.

Lori was nice enough to donate some cards for the day. It wasn’t till we were ready to call that the true nature of the cards was revealed…they were “exotic”! Every one of the cards had a naked man on it! These cards were circa 1970/80, so they were super corny. They caused much discussion as they were passed around the table. “Holy shit!” was exclaimed at one point. One of the guys was dubbed, “Left Turn Clyde”. Kate was first to call as Patt passed saying, “This dong’s for you!” Kate made her call exciting by describing all of the men for us before holding up the card. The cards were fun, if not distracting! Thanks Lori!

Debi won the first cover all, completely overflowing her container (again!) In order to bring some much needed luck to the rest of the table, Patt busted her special Happy Birthday crown out of her office & passed it around the table for everyone to share. Unfortunately, it didn’t bring any luck to anyone! Oh, wait, in the end, it wound up bringing (more) luck to Patt who won the last cover all “after lots of losing”!

MYSTERY BAG

It’s NOT in a box again! This month, Debi was the Mystery presenter. As I took the cards around the table, I told the ladies to “pick your dong”! For a split second I thought I had busted my Mystery losing streak until Patt flipped over her manly Ace card & snatched the bag from me! There’s that hostess luck again! Inside the bag was a bunch of summer themed goodies: bubbles, bag, palm tree cup w/ matching stirrers, candles (sniff, sniff, pass), sun block & lip balm. Here’s a funny side note to the Mystery. When Debi was putting it together, she was showing the goodies to her husband. He took a real liking to the palm tree cup & told Debi he wanted it. She tried explaining that it was the last one left at the store & she really needed it to complete her Bag. Her husband was not amused! But after Debi explained the situation to Patt, she graciously returned the cup to Debi to take back home! Maybe it was that good hostess karma that won Patt the final cover all!

ALL HAIL THE V

Get in touch with your inner goddess at our annual Toga Pool Party at Spanky’s house! Get there on SATURDAY 8/27 @ 5 if you want to swim (bring a suit & towel), or 6 if you don’t. Bring your toga & we’ll party like its 90 BC! Phyllis will be making pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, and fried tomatoes w/ gravy. Please bring a side, snack or dessert of your choice.

PRESENT EXTRAVAGANZA

Everyone remembered their gifts (more or less). Here’s who got what: Our hostess kicked it off. Patt gave Debi a Wawa gift card, flower picture frame & candle. Debi gave Lori an (As Seen on TV) Easy Scrubber for an easy at-home pedicure. Lori had Phyllis. She gave her a big card, flowers and package “From one drunk to another”! Inside the package was a bottle of Fish Eye wine, small bottle of orange vodka & personalized shot glasses (1 for “Giggles” & 1 for “Spanky”). After much confusion…Phyllis went to the gift pile & noticed there’s a card on the floor that says “Happy birthday Angi”. Problem with that is Phyllis has me as Pollyanna & that card has Marge’s handwriting on it. Phyllis still had her Pollyanna slip in her Pokeno bag. So, I got a goodie bag w/ everything I need to keep taking proper notes during our games – notepads, pens & 6 various Yankee Candles. I gave Kate baked goods (chocolate chip cookies), light up cocktail shaker & Aloha air freshener to cover up cigar funk in the Tiki Bar. Kate gave Patt a card that sang the Limbo song & a “Buddha for Buddha”! That’s when Marge figured out that she was actually supposed to buy a gift for Peg instead of me! Marge lost her slip & said she couldn’t remember what I asked for, but was sure it was me! Peg got a Wawa gift card (perfect for coffee on the go!). Peg had Marge! She gave her a cute summery top & animal calendar w/ all the Pokeno sister’s birthdays already filled in.

THIS IS THE END

I will close this month’s Rag with this incredibly timely “Snapple Fact” #846: An average of 3 billion cups of tea will be consumed daily, worldwide. That’s an awful LOT of tea! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2011

This month, we celebrated a pre-Memorial Day BBQ @ Cosmo’s house. Unfortunately, Peg couldn’t join us this time, but she’ll be back for the tea party. We dined on lots of wonderful things: mussels; pasta salad; tortellini kebobs; cake; pie; cookies; cold drinks on tap; hot dogs; and shrimp skewers. Kate provided a table full of colorful buckets w/ tiki lighters (that looked dirty) & pretty floral hairclips. Some of us used them to put up our hair as it was quite warm. The hot tub was set up, but only Patt went in during our half time break. She was relaxing while Debi was kicking Phyllis’ ass at some lawn darts. After the outdoor activities, we came back in to stuff ourselves some more w/ all the dessert goodies! Lori baked a red velvet cake that she personalized w/ Pokeno chips & our names! I grabbed some goodies & went back downstairs. I thought everyone was following, but I was wrong. Anyway, while I was down there, I overheard, “You have to turn the pot ON for the coffee to actually brew!” Always a helpful tip! At the end of the night, more than one of the Pokeno Sisters was complaining about tummy aches from eating too much deliciousness!

One interesting thing about the evening - according to some religious wing nuts somewhere – it was going to be the rapture/end of the world! What better place to be than in the basement w/ your friends & family? As you can see by the writing of this blog thingy here - it didn’t happen! But, it made for lots of jokes & giggles throughout the evening.

Patt decided to play some wacky version of beer pong & tried to bounce a balled up napkin into Marge’s cup @ the other end of the table. That plan didn’t work at all & the wad actually plopped into Phyllis’ drink! Patt tried again later, we all covered our drinks. It turned into another running joke of the night.

There was lots of drama before Spanky’s call! She was one of the last people to call, so it was later in the evening & she was VERY antsy by this point! Lori went to pour a drink when it spilled all over the table/cards/floor/Patt! Oh no! Flagged! We frantically rush to get paper towels & clean up the mess, when here come the dogs to help! Dogs probably shouldn’t be drinking vodka... I proceeded to scoop up the dogs & run them upstairs. I shut the door, come back down & Kate tells me, “You know, they can get through the cat door…” 15 mins & many paper towels later, Phyllis finally got her chance to call. Spanky won the first cover all of the night. I didn’t note who won the 2nd. Maybe you remember…maybe it was you? I can assure you it was NOT me!

MYSTERY PACKAGE

It’s NOT in a box! So, therefore & henceforth it will be known this month as a “package”. It turned out that birthday magic was in the house instead of “hostess luck” because Debi won Marge’s gift! Marge prefaced the giveaway by telling us if we didn’t want it, we could pass or whatever. This made everyone think it was gonna suck! But, underneath the sports section of the paper (which Debi had to stop & read) was a hand-stitched “God Bless America” cross-stitch sampler. Everyone thought it was really cool & Deb was very lucky to win! I wonder what she’ll bring for the Tea Party Mystery. I guess we’ll see in July! And, now onto that bit of business…

A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!

Don’t be late for our annual birthday Tea Party @ Patt’s house! Well, at least try not to be… This year, we will be celebrating on SATURDAY, 7/9 @ 2:00. Everyone was too busy in June to agree on a date, so we just pushed the party to July. As usual, please come dressed for tea & bring your gift!

Speaking of gifts…we had to pick Pollyanna for this event. We knew well in advance that Peg wasn’t coming, so we made arrangements w/ her via text. We’re SO 21st century around here! Debi helped me figure out a plan to ensure that Peg wouldn’t get herself – I just wouldn’t put her in! Brilliant! Only, I dropped her slip into the pile after filling it out & totally messed up the plan! Geez! I fished back through the pile & scooped her out so we could carry on as planned. It was smooth sailing from there & we all got our people! Speaking of birthdays…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We had 2 lovely Pokeno sisters celebrating birthdays this month. It was Marge & Debi! Thanks to Lori donating an extra tiara to the bag, we had 1 crown for each lady! Debi’s tiara brought her super powers! It won her the Mystery & it helped her call well!

STUFF THAT SUCKS

#1 – LG products! Debi told us that as she’s finishing up her kitchen remodel, she purchased some new appliances. All from LG. Apparently, there’s been nothing but problems w/ the dishwasher & fridge since they were installed! She recommends you don’t make the same mistake in your own home.

#2 – Shamwow! You may (or may not) remember, 2 birthday parties ago…Debi had Kate for Pollyanna. She thought it would be funny to gift Kate her very own Shamwow in honor of her fabulous Halloween costume. Kate used it & threw it in w/ laundry to clean it. She put it in the dryer & wow indeed! It shrunk to a fraction of its original size! She called it a “Sham-don’t”!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Tighter & Whiter? It’s not really that bad… we were talking about dying your hair & that was Beauty School Spanky’s take on going blond. We were all remarking on how nice Patt’s blond looked. That led to another conversation about never dying your hair in anger! It only ends up w/ you spending too much time & money in the salon to have a professional fix it!

Burning Bush! I mentioned previously that Cosmo gave us all some fabulous tiki lighters. Patt was sitting (in her bathing suit – she’s not naked!) & playing w/ her lighter trying to figure out how to light it when we realized it was upside down & she was about to set her incredibly flammable 2 piece on fire! Good thing this was prior to Patt getting vodka spilled all over her, or it could’ve been even worse! Stop, drop & roll - it’s not a hot flash; you’re actually on fire…

For Hire! Spanky offered up a new service -“Professional Pokeno Consultant”. She says if you need her to call, she’ll assist! I’m not sure if there are any other uses/duties/tasks for a “Pokeno Consultant”, but she only wants to use you to get herself to call quicker anyway!

Ass Noises! No, it wasn’t really from your butt & had absolutely nothing to do w/ “butt stuff”. Some of us were barefoot & when your foot rubbed the table, it would make a sound like you were passing gas. The chairs were making noises too! However, none of these noises compared to the actual ass-blasting that took place over @ the bar…you know who you were…

THIS IS THE END

There was lots of fun in May! It will be a while until we meet again, but hopefully that will just make our birthday/tea party even more exciting! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!