April 2009

Editor’s note: A good time was had by all! I had too much of a good time & wasn’t feeling so hot by the end of our late night festivities. Cocktails & allergy medicine never mix. So, I sat down to compose this month’s Rag & as I’m reviewing my notes, there are parts (toward the mid-end of night) that I honestly don’t even know what the notes are for. My apologies in advance for any factual errors or missing items, continuing on…

This month, we played @ Peg’s house. It was a really lovely day, followed by an evening of fun, merriment & many jokes. The living room was fully decorated w/ balloons & sparklers (that we set off @ the end of the night). Peg was a great hostess in her Jester/Joker outfit. She had a big list of jokes & a horn that she would blow whenever it was time for another funny. After about 3 or 4 blows, it stopped working – Peg threw the horn & wanted her money back! Good thing Phyllis brought that microphone, Peg could use that instead. Peg noted that for some reason, everyone’s always all hyped up when we play @ her house. I jokingly suggested that her house was built on some ancient Indian burial site (too many horror flicks for me). That led to Peg telling us about how gypsies used to live on the site where her house is now built. She swears this is true, so that might explain a lot!

Everyone had a joke to tell or came in some sort of costume. Phyllis dressed up as a Whoopie cushion w/ a fart machine. She went around hugging & farting right from the door! Marge put last month’s mystery box to use by wearing her bunny ears & making a shirt w/ the pasties. Cosmo & I came as a couple of cone heads. Consume mass quantities – boy howdy!!! Our costumes were super cheesy, but we meant well. I had a black cone & Kate had a white one. She meant to paint the cone a flesh-tone prior to the party but never quite got around to it. This left her cone looking more like one belonging to a Grand Wizard & not Beldar. The costumes lasted for a photo or two, and then we got comfy & got down to business.

Before we started Marge & I both had goodies to pass out. Marge got crafty again & made little purses for us. Only the purses are made out of bras! Everyone got a specialized bag to start off. I made Easter eggs for everyone. I decorated the outsides & filled the insides w/ a springtime chip, chocolate & a round of game play on me. Debi & Phyllis both won while using the egg dimes. At the end of the night, Debi was complaining about being “low on dimes”? WTF??? Seriously??? Her cup was filled to the brim! Then she goes on to hit almost every pot during the last cover all & I’m not kidding…her cup overflowed & she couldn’t get the lid back on it again! (Note photographic evidence on the side) Maybe she can cash in some of those dimes to put toward her cruise w/ Patt. The hostess mojo was in full force again this month as Peg (also using my dimes) won both coveralls!

Since it was such a lovely evening (80’s that day) – we had to wait a while before we could turn on the oven to make pizzas. But it was well worth the wait. They all turned out yummy & delicious! We also had an assortment of fresh fruit & veggies to snack on. As usual, we didn’t starve!

One last announcement from the door! Debi got a phone call from her daughter while we were playing. Sarah was calling to tell her that as of May, she will be home from Iraq for good! This led to a round of “Hip, Hip Hooray!” from all of us. We’re all glad to see Sarah coming home safely. Thanks to her & the rest of our men/women who are currently serving our country!

MAY POKENO

Patt & Debi will be on a tropical cruise during the month of May. Therefore, they will be unavailable to play this month. The rest of us decided that we’ll be playing SATURDAY, MAY 16TH @ my house. This will be super-duper low key/no frills Pokeno. Come in t-shirt & jeans or your most comfy outfit. Please bring a few extra bucks so we can order some food. Not cooking is all part of this no fuss Pokeno!

ANOTHER ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND

I swear it took me like ½ an hour to make announcements/discuss business! But, in the end, we got it all done (of course). Even though Patt & Debi will be away in May, Patt has once again graciously offered up her humble abode for our June party. We all had so much fun last year w/ the tea party & birthday exchange that we decided to do it again this year! We drew our Pollyanna’s & will bring gifts to the tea party. Come in your fanciest lady-like attire & prepare to party like its 1899!

We haven’t set a date as of the writing of the Rag. We did sort of agree on the end of June. Actual date & menu updates will follow accordingly.

MYSTERY BOX

Marge was responsible for the April Mystery. It has to be a new record for size/weight! She even managed to salvage some of the paper from March’s Mystery to recycle. We did the first drawing to see who the winner would be. Phyllis won. But, she decided that since she’s won so many, she’d pass it for someone else to have a chance. How thoughtful! So again we go ‘round the table & pick cards. This time, Debi was the winner! She was so excited to see what was inside the giant box…

Inside…Marge made a “diorama” using a gallon of spring water dressed w/ gloves, a hat & face to make it look like a person. She stuck the water to a knee pad & covered the pad w/ various garden seeds. She also put in a decorative fence, tools, tool bag & a pinwheel-type device.

Since Debi will be taking off in the month of May, the next Mystery Box will not be due until the June party. Maybe she’ll bring back a dolphin from her cruise! That would be fun!

JOKES

As previously stated above in my “Editor’s Note”, I can’t remember half the shit that happened during the evening. I was supposed to be noting the different jokes that Jester Peg was telling. I managed to recover 2 from my scribbling. One was about a blond nurse (there were a few blond jokes) & a black box? I think there was something about a magic marker or something too? See, I told you I was wacked…

I do remember the 2nd one. What do shingles & fatties have in common? They both wanna get nailed! Ooh, wait, here’s another scribbling about Frito Lay chips…what is that? Maybe it was because of all the chips on the floor? Hopefully y’all can remember the other funnies, because I sure as hell can’t!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Sorry, wrong game! Early in the evening, Patt got Pokeno, but yelled “Bingo!” instead. Huh? Oh, that was HER joke!

Sorry, wrong language! For some reason or another, someone said “ooh la la” at one point during the evening. This was followed up by someone else thinking that was Mexican… Just for the record, “ooh la la” is French, not Mexican. I’m not even sure if Mexican is a language – but it is in fact a delicious type of food!

Who’s that lady? Someone told Patt that she looked like Meryl Streep in “Mamma Mia”. We then had to explain that this was a compliment as her role in that movie was one of a super independent kick-ass woman. Also in this category is Debi’s new nickname “Major Juggs”! Not sure how or why that came up, but it did.

What’s that card? It was late in the evening when Cosmo finally got her turn to call. As she was also playing the part of a cone head, she consumed mass quantities with me. Slightly…no…quite intoxicated, she took her turn calling the cards. Good thing she holds them up, or we would have been really bad off when she called a “Jack of dimes”! This was followed with a “4 of nickels”! Oh boy…

Where do you keep your wand? This innocent enough question was asked & the response was “in your magnetized snatch”! WTF??? Again, I have to say that I neglected to note who said what, but I do remember laughing so hard I cried! Maybe we should all keep our wands on the table where everyone can see them?

That will round out this month’s edition of the Rag. Thanks again to Jester Peg-a-la for a most enjoyable party! Bon voyage to Patt & Debi – enjoy your trip & come back w/ lots of stories!

I’m taking a Rag break for May’s game – so I’m signing off until June’s B-day Tea Party. See y’all soon!