March 2009

We’re goin’ green! Our St. Patrick’s extravaganza was held this year at Cosmo’s tiki bar. You were greeted at the door by a rainbow which you followed through the kitchen, down the stairs & into the basement – where “treasure” awaited you! Everyone had a different interpretation of what their treasure was. Of course we had lots of good food (ham, sausage/cheese balls, pineapple pudding, twizzlers in tiki heads). Kate even provided Lucky Charms & Skittles. More about them later… Peg & I had our “Irish Princess” tiaras from last year’s party so we decided to bust ‘em out again this year. All the lassies came in their green finest! Everyone but Pita showed up this month. The ladies seemed very relaxed & all enjoyed the evening. Although, there was a guest bartender leprechaun (Roger) who was mixing drinks…that may have had something to do with it!

Cosmo provided a lovely party atmosphere. She even had Irish music playing in the background. Spanky & I showed up early to help Cosmo/Roger prep for the party. When Spanky realized there was Irish music, she demanded the “Unicorn Song”. WTF is this song about a fanciful unicorn? So, Kate puts the song on, Phyllis sings along, all is right with the world. I even quoted Spanky as saying, “This rocks!” A little while later, the rest of the ladies start showing up. We were settling in & Marge noticed the music. Phyllis mentioned the unicorn to Marge & she HAD to hear it. No… not again...geez… After being forced to listen a few times, I learned there was a big flood & some dude built a giant boat. He saved some geese & chimps, but he left the unicorns behind to drown. Yea, those Irish sure know how to bring down a party! After we were serenaded with songs of death, a livelier tune came on. So lively in fact that Marge & Patt busted out their best Riverdance moves and got jiggy with it. That was very entertaining! We finally settled in & got down to business.

I’d like to wish all you foxy ladies a happy spring! It finally sprung last week. You’d never know it from the flurries we had the day before Pokeno, or the frigid temperatures we’ve been dealing with. Anyway, one sure sign that spring is here is flowers blooming in the garden! You might remember that Phyllis passed out daffodil bulbs at the Halloween party. I took mine home & planted right away. I even managed to keep the squirrels from eating (most of) them. I was outside the other day & WOW the daffodils have sprouted! I even posted a photo here so you too can share in nature’s majesty!

MYSTERY BOX

I knew it would happen eventually… Some smart ass (Cosmo) decides to be cute about the mystery box & my mother has to go and win it! Kate had told me about her plans for a “Saints/Sinners” Mystery. I thought it was a great idea. Until I realized the possibility of Marge winning…then it became a horribly bad idea! While telling Kate what a great job she did on the special wrapping paper – the reality of what was inside hit me again. I suggested that we should remove Marge from this month’s drawing. Kate didn’t think that would be fair, besides, what are the odds that she’ll win??? HA! Turns out – the odds are pretty good!

To my horror & dismay, Marge went on to win the Mystery Box for March. Inside the box was a “Saint” side - Irish vest; Earth-friendly reusable shopping bag; beads (which someone suggested could’ve been placed on the other side of the box) & shamrock dilly-boppers. On the “Sinner” side was – bunny ears; tasseled pasties & lube. Good thing Roger was right there to make me a drink! Now I don’t have to go to the laundry room & scrub my eyes w/ bleach…

Someone mentioned that maybe we should be more cautious when putting the Box together. That’s not any fun. Please feel free to put whatever you want in there – that’s the “mystery”! If anyone else would’ve won the Box this month, I would’ve been fine. But, seriously, all you ladies know you don’t like to think about your parents being freaky! That’s all I’m saying… So Marge will be responsible for April’s mystery. I’m sure it’ll be G rated!

SOMETHING’S FUNNY AROUND HERE…

For the April party, Peg-a-la will be the hostess. Party will be: SATURDAY, APRIL 18TH @ 6:00. Peg decided on a “comedy” theme. You don’t have to go out of your way or anything, but Peg wants you to come with a joke/funny outfit/etc. We all tried really hard to agree on a date. It seems that April is busy for a lot of us. So, we decided on the 18th, however, Patt may or may not be able to make it. We’ll have to see what happens.

Peg thought a “pizza party” would be fun too. We’ve done this a few times now w/ much success. Peg provides dough & sauce. You all think of fun toppings & bring your favorites. Weather permitting she’ll have the fireplace going. Remember the November party? It was so warm we played w/ the windows open!

RANDOM FUNNIES

So that’s what a Skittle tastes like! Peg never had a Skittle before. She tried one & was surprised at the “rush of sugar all at once – no wonder kids like these things!”

Ball dog? Kate’s dog suffers from OCD & has a ball problem. She’ll bring it to you & once you throw it, she’ll keep coming back - many, many times. Patt made this mistake & Jacky kept dropping the ball in her lap. As you can imagine, this was quite distracting. She tried to tell the dog to stop & it came out as “ball dog”. Pretty funny, let’s take a breather…

The pause that refreshes! Patt noted that sometimes it’s just a good time to pause for a refresher. She was calling this month & wound up dropping the cards – not once, but twice! Debi dropped them the round before! We wound up having to pause at least 3 times in order to re-count the cards to ensure they were all there.

Are your arms too short? Someone was suffering from this rare condition & kept over-shooting the pots. Patt said something about arms being too short to box God. Huh? She went on to explain something about this play… After some research (thanks Wikipedia), this is an African-American musical with some parts borrowed from scripture. Of course, nobody in our group had seen/heard of it. Everyone did crack up when she said it though. Way to liven up the evening!

AS SEEN ON TV & HALLOWEEN PARTIES

Somehow or another, we started talking about ShamWow! People remarked that they can’t see the commercial now without thinking about Kate’s super awesome Halloween costume. Everything’s funnier when you’re in on the joke… Debi mentioned that she actually purchased the ShamWow! She asked if anyone else had bought one. Nope. So she went on to tell us how great they work & how much she likes them. They really do the job! What job? You had to ask… apparently they’re really good at cleaning up pet messes. I’m gonna leave it at that. So, if you too have messes to clean up, go get yourself a ShamWow!

THE SKITTLE INCIDENT

Now you know we can’t get through an entire game without any drama. We were about ½ way through the evening, feeling all relaxed. I needed a sugar fix, so I grabbed a Skittle. As I popped it into my mouth – BAM! CRASH! CRACK! Holy crap, I’m stuck in the chair!!! Why is it that I’m the one who keeps getting injured at our parties recently? Remember my concussion last month thanks to Pita? So, I pry myself out of the chair & removed the splintered wood sticking out of my ass. Cosmo apologized & said something about trying to tighten the chair, but apparently over-tightened it which caused the wood to crack. All it took was 1 little Skittle to cause disaster! I’m gonna be extra careful to be sure I don’t get injured in April!

That will wrap up another month of fun. Thanks again to Cosmo for a lovely party! See you next month for a wrap up on Peg’s party. Until then, may the best bitch win!