This is the End

Well...peace out bitches!

Happy Holidays! January 2015 Edition

After deciding we were all far too busy to meet up in December, we had to wait till the New Year to play & exchange gifts. Once again, we partied at Marge’s place. We dined on turkey sandwiches, potato salad, spicy Cuban shrimp cocktails, fruit salad, an “epic” antipasto tree (Spanky Stewart put us all to shame once again), “chewy delicious” Turtle (caramel/chocolate – not animal) cookies & other assorted goodies. Debi donated some champagne for a toast. During the toast, Phyllis piped up & said, “Thanks for being my bitches!”

We started playing at 7, after we had stuffed ourselves full of good stuff. But, by 7:30, we were all yawning. Damn you tryptophan! In order to stop the sleepiness, we did our first cover all @ 8. Patt & I split this one. We took a break to open gifts & started playing again @ 9 when Patt & Debi both said, “Merry Christmas, Spanky” & passed their turns so Phyllis could call. She was SO happy! We did our final cover all 45 mins later when Patt won all by herself. We then gathered up our winnings, goodies & gifts and headed for home to patiently wait for our next meeting.

NOW PRESENTING…PRESENTS!

After running into “road blocks” over the last few years, I decided to try something different with the present draw. Previously, I passed out numbers & that’s how we did it. So, in order to not have the same sister get the same sister & have a “road block”, I made 7 sad faces & 1 smiley Santa to determine who’d go first. My idea didn’t work very well because EVERY single person had the other person! 4 road blocks! We wound up having to re-pick happy Santas for the rest of the gift exchange! Good thing we didn’t throw them away! Here’s who got what:

First up was Patt to Lori. There was a lovely card, some homemade chocolate chip cookies (in a super cute tin), a mini Yankee wreath candle & a big red apple wreath candle. Then Lori gave a gift to Patt. There were 2 packs of mini tissues & a big pineapple Yankee candle that smelled so wonderful, it could really take you away to a tropical island! Next up was my gift to Debi. I got her a reusable peace bag filled with “Pinot for Dummies” (that was me, not her as I know nothing of wine), Kahlua coffee, bottle of vodka & box of “stuff you can light” (flashlight, mini LED clip light, smiley night light, candle & $5 towards dues). Not only could you “light stuff”, but the other things could “get you lit”! Debi had me! I got a silver Brighton charm bangle. It’s a starter bracelet, now I just have to add charms. Phyllis had Peg. Inside her super cute gift box was some delicious “Jamaican Me Crazy” coffee & gift card for Victoria’s Secret. Peg had a gift for Phyllis too! Inside her adorable snowman mailbox was a bunch of Yankee votive candles & earrings that looked like music notes. Last up to exchange were Marge & Kate. Marge made Kate some chocolate chip muffins, got her a “big ass” chocolate bar (this was actually on Kate’s list), and knitted a granny square blanket. Apparently, Kate has a bunch of squares (actually knitted by her very own awesome granny) at home & has been trying to figure out what to do with them. Now she knows! She’ll add Nan’s squares to Marge’s blanket! She was SO touched by this “made by you” gift, it may have brought a tear to her eye. I know that Phyllis jumped on this occasion to make some rude comments (LOLOLOLOLOLOL) that left Peg in tears!!! As these comments involve my mother & my best friend, I’m not even kinda about to re-print them here. If you missed it, you missed it. If not…you too got a chuckle out of it! Last (but certainly not least) was Kate’s gift to Marge. Kate says, “I know your loyalties lie in 2 different houses!” Once Marge opened her gift, she figured out what that meant. Kate gifted Marge a super-swell Pokeno bag complete with funky fresh Rooster chip bag, magnetic chips/wand, mini hand sanitizer, and 2 bags. One was “Uncle Penny Bags” (in my mind) to hold her pennies for games in her building & the other was a “Dime Bag” to hold dimes for games with us slightly younger bitches. I believe each bag contained some coins too…but I could be wrong. This way, Marge has 1 awesome bag for all her Pokeno needs!

Once again, you ladies went above & beyond to ensure your sisters were showered in goodies. Thanks to everyone for participating & getting/giving such cool stuff!

MYSTERY BOX

After winning the jingle wreath & Christmas village from Marge during our Thank-full Pokeno in November, I was responsible for providing the first Mystery of 2015. I had been collecting stuff for a while now, so it was chock full o’ goodies. Kate was the winner (for the first time in quite a while) of my “Treat Yo’ Self” box of pampering stuff. There was a bottle of faux tan lotion – for a luscious Jersey glow, cereal snacks, scented candle, glass coasters, shampoo/conditioner, shower gel, various body lotions, perfume, nail polish, face wash/mask/scrubs, serums, potions, make up and stuff all packed into a travel case that can all be packed into the tote bag (thanks to my DDS) that was in the bottom of the box. I can totally understand how stressful the holidays can be, so take some time & unwind! Not only will Kate be responsible for providing February’s Mystery…she’ll be hostessing as well…

VALENTINO POKENO

Get your comfiest outfit/PJ’s/sweats on & come feel the love at the Tiki Bar! Join your sisters for this love fest on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 28^TH @ 5:00.

FINAL THOUGHT

Happy 2015! That wraps up another year of fun & excitement. I wonder what the New Year has in store for us… Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

November 2014 - ThankFull Edition

We gathered ‘round the table with friends to celebrate all the things we have to be thankful for! We dined on turkey, two kinds of potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, olives, veggies, bread pudding & pecan cupcakes. It was SO quiet! Can’t talk…eating…everything was delicious as usual!

I didn’t note what time we started playing, but we played one round & took a break. We resumed play again around 7. By 7:30, the tryptophan was kicking in & we were all had the “turkey yawns”. The food coma had begun! We did our first cover all @ 8 when Debi won all by herself…while calling! Wow! Way to multi-task, Deb!  We had our coffee break & went back to our game @ 8:30. Our final cover all was at 9:40. This time, I won alone. We wrapped up around 10, gathered up our goodie bags (thanks Lori) & the rest of our junk & rolled out the door…

MYSTERY BAG

Marge was responsible for November’s Mystery. I was the winner! I’m on a roll the last few months! Inside was…a jingle bell wreath & a ceramic Christmas village (painted by Marge).

HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY POKENO!

It’s the best time of the year! We will be having our Holiday party once again at Marge’s house. Be there next weekend! Don’t forget your gifts!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Holiday generosity? I know this is going to be difficult to imagine, but once again (after winning cover all alone) – Juggs couldn’t get the lid to fit on her dime container. Oh, really? Boo mutha-F-ing hoo!!! I wish I had problems like…”all my money won’t fit in here” (ha, ha, ha) She decided to be generous & give away some dimes out of her enormous pile of winnings! After she did that, she says, “Now I can get the lid on”! Honestly, I do believe that Juggs has been the winningest winner in our group. Her container is constantly full & that’s after she’s paid Patt’s extortion fees to use the Penny Arcade to cash it in for margarita fixin’s!

YMCA!!! Lori had another excellent music mix going. One of the songs was the Village People “YMCA”. It was so funny because without any encouraging, a whole bunch of us spontaneously broke into the dance at the same time! Great minds think alike!

FINAL THOUGHT

Take time to be thankful for what you’ve got! I’m thankful for my family & friends. Good food & good times with my sisters! I’m also looking forward to more good food, good times & possibly some dimes at Marge’s for our Holiday festivities! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

October 2014 - Smell My Feet Edtion

Boo to you!!! As has become tradition now, we had our annual Halloween-O party at Spanky’s house! Being as she was just getting over her foot surgery, and it was early in the month, she didn’t have her whole usual decorative spread out, but there were still plenty of tricks & treats to be had! We dined on mini crab cakes; tortellini; fruit salad; green salad; Reese’s Pieces & caramel apple cookies; brownies; candy & pumpkin dip. Mark couldn’t stop eating the dip!!! At one point, he was just hanging in the kitchen devouring it! He started telling us there was none left! Too funny! Everything was very delicious! Good job ladies! Peg couldn’t join us this time. She threw out her back the day before & decided it would be best to stay home & rest. She was missed, but I kept her informed via text message all night. Thank goodness for modern technology! Lori brought glow bracelets & earrings to share. You know how we love the glowy stuff! While the bracelets were swell, the earrings were quite painful. Those of us who tried them only kept them on for a few minutes before blood started thumping in our earlobes! Phyllis had another guessing game for us this year. There was a jar of candy corn & we had to guess how many were in there. The correct number was 347. Cosmo was the player who got closest with 350 (tree-fiddy)! She won a lovely candy corn-scented Yankee Candle. At the end of the night, our awesome hostess passed out “Spooky” Halloween decorations.

Here’s the costume round-up! This year, we had: Bride of Frankenstein (Spanky), a Cheshire Cat (Cosmo), a “beach bum” (Giggles), a scarecrow (Rooster), the Queen of Hearts (yours truly) & 2 surgeons (Juggs & Buddha). Way to go ladies! As usual, you all looked lovely, spooky & comfy!

After we got business out of the way, Marge opted to let Phyllis call first. Spanky couldn’t be happier! Since she’d been on “house arrest” with the bum foot in a boot, she was SO happy she was raring & ready to go! We attempted a bucket brigade to get pond scum punch passed around the table. This only worked once… We tried our best to be sure Spanky wasn’t over-doing it too much! During the game, it was noted that postage kept going quickly, it never really had a chance to build up. We had our first cover all at 8:30. Marge hit 4 corners early on. I went on to win by myself after Patt & Debi both missed cards way early on! We did our final round @ 9:30 when Debi missed yet another card & I went on to win alone again. Patt still managed to rake in some dimes! She reported, “thanks to my sistas for the $34.50! Can you say silver tequila?” Guess we know where those dimes went…into the margarita ball!

MYSTERY BAG/BOX

Once again, I managed to re-use the Victoria’s Secret bag. I can’t believe that thing’s holding up as well as it is! Anyway, inside the bag was a mysterious box – warning the winner to open at her own risk. Marge was the winner & took the risk…but, did it pay off??? Inside the box was a bunch of Halloween goodies! Decorations, candy, socks, devil horn headband, pumpkin candle, foxy fox & a box full of pampering/dental hygiene products. I didn’t want anyone blaming me for the cavity they got from candy they got in my Mystery! I wonder if Marge can salvage the bag again to bring to our November party…

BE THANK-FULL

We managed to square away our Thanksgiving party without much drama. We will be gathering together at Giggles house on SATURDAY, 11/22 @ 5:00. There will be a full-on dinner before playing, so wear your comfy pants & get ready to dine on: turkey, green bean casserole, Stove Top stuffing, sweet potatoes, twice baked potatoes (I’m gonna eat ‘em all), assorted veggies, bread pudding, olives, cranberry sauce & pecan pie cupcakes.

FRIENDLY REMINDER!

While the November party info is still (hopefully) fresh in your minds, let me also remind you that we will be picking Pollyanna for our December party during the November meeting!!! Think about the 3 things you’d like over the next few weeks. I’ll pass out slips early on, you jot down your thoughts during the first round & we can pick during our coffee break.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Special Report! As usual, there was a LOT of chocolate/candy/sugary goodies at this party. There was a bowl of Mega M&M’s & a bowl of caramel and dark chocolate Kisses. In case you didn’t sample them, I can happily report that I did that bit of investigative research for you & they were all delicious! Anyway, while we were loading up on enough chocolate to make Cornholio blush, someone wanted to note that “dark chocolate contains antioxidants & antioxidants are good for you!” But wait! There’s more!!! As I was editing the blog & making it ready for publishing, I found this really cool article: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15880/want-to-improve-your-memory-eat-chocolate.html. It tells you all about how chocolate can also reverse age-related memory loss! Wow!!! Chocolate…is there anything you can’t do?

Name That Tune? Spanky had the Halloween music channel going during the party. Randomly during the night, she notices the song playing is “The Blob by The 5 Blobs”. WTF? None of us have ever heard this song, but Spanky knew it in the first few notes! A little while later, “Munster’s Holiday” came on. Again, none of us knew this one either. Not only did Phyllis know the song (again in a few notes), she knew the whole background story about the Munster’s Holiday!!! We were all cracking up at this point, it was too funny! Not all the tunes were funny, however. Some were creepy noises that were freaking Patt out. Can I also note here that she was also very freaked out by Spanky & Mark’s super awesome “Werewolf of GC”! It literally made her jump! Not as bad as the heart attack it almost gave the PSE&G guy, but that’s another story…

Halloween Calling! While Kate was doing her calling thing, she decided to take it up a notch & get in the spirit of the evening…or maybe a spirit got into her? One could say…she was possessed? Ya never know what could fly in from across the street! And by “across the street” I mean the cemetery!!! Hmm… anyway, she thought it would frighteningly funny to make all the cards “spooky”, “sinister” & “creepy”. We all got a good chuckle out of her enthusiastic calling!

FINAL THOUGHT

It was another frightfully fun Halloween! I’m looking forward to stuffing my face @ Lori’s next month! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

September 2014 - Chock Full O' Spooge Edition

Aloha summer! I can’t believe it’s over already!!! We partied it up at the Tiki Bar this month. It’s been over a month since we’d seen each other last, so we were all very excited & happy to be together once again! Feel the love J The only sister who couldn’t join us this time was Marge. Her excuse was totally legit. For those of you who know GC, you might be surprised to know it’s been 30 years since Marge’s building was opened! Town legend says it was built on an Indian burial ground - they left the bodies & only moved the headstones, now the ground is sour! Let’s see who gets my witty horror movie references (there’s 2) – anyone who does will get a round on me at our next party!  Anyway…Marge was elected “President” of her tenants’ association & had to be at the anniversary party. While she was missed, it was an opportunity for the rest of us to win. You know what those rappers say, “Mo’ dimes, mo’ problems” or “I got 99 problems but dimes ain’t one…hit me!” I’m on a Kaiser roll here today…LOL @ myself. For food this month, we dined on an assortment of finger foods: taco dip; potato skins; ham/broccoli ring; savory cream cheese w/ dill in a pastry shell; chips; pretzels; cheese & grapes; devil’s tongues (jalapeño poppers) & Nutella blondies for our coffee break.

After stuffing ourselves full of goodies & taking care of business, we got down to playing at 6:30. The first round went really quick! We had our first cover all @ 8:15 where Phyllis & Patt split the winnings. We wrapped up the night about an hour later. This time it was a 3-way split between Debi, Kate & Peg. Everyone gathered their stuff & bid farewell until October.

MYSTERY BAG

Vicky’s bag is still making the rounds! Patt was responsible for September’s Mystery & I was the winner! If memory serves me correctly (which it usually doesn’t), this is the first time I’ve won in about 6 months! What was inside the bag this time you ask? Well, have a sit right down & you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a bag of stuff!

There was a “fall theme” to the bag. Inside was a table cover; 2 serving trays; napkins; paper plates; pumpkin candle; felt leaves (table scatter); kitchen towel; garden flag & a magnet that says “The road to a friend’s house is never long”. We all agreed this was a lovely saying. However, when I brought my winnings home & stuck the magnet on my fridge, my husband says, “That’s a lie! It’s always super long because you’re excited to get to your friend’s house! You’re sitting in traffic thinking, wow, I could be there by now…having fun!” I laughed & told him I’d share his thoughts with y’all. I totally think he’s right! So, I will be responsible for providing a spooky Mystery for next time…while we’re on the topic…

HALLOWEEN-O

Trying to plan our Halloween party was quite difficult. Spanky’s having foot surgery so we couldn’t do early in the month. There were other scheduling conflicts so some couldn’t make it towards the end of the month. We actually discussed having the party in November! But, it didn’t come to that…we all finally agreed on a date. So, get your costumes on “ghouls” & get to the Queen of Halloween’s house (that’s Spanky) on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11^th @ 5:00. Our menu so far: mini crab cakes; tortellini; pond scum to drink; green salad; fruit salad & mummy dogs. I can’t wait to see what kind of tricks & treats you ladies will come up with this year!

RANDOM FUNNIES

How do you say it? After realizing I was losing my ass off very early in the evening, I said “I busted my nut by winning the Mystery & that’s all I get tonight!” Some ladies didn’t know what I meant by that, so here’s just a few (out of the hundreds Kate found online) of the other ways you can say it: Shot your load? Choke your chicken? Gravy maker? Free the tadpoles? Or, a favorite….Dishonorable discharge? Come to think of it, this kind of reminds me of how the last time we got together, “blow me” was the theme of the night. Seems like we just carried it over to September!

The what? It was Kate’s turn to call & she was almost finished, so the giddiness of being done overcame her when she said, “The 13 of 11’s”! It took everyone a moment to figure out that she was yanking their chain (there’s another one!) & she called whatever the actual card was.

Duly noted! That was Phyllis’ response when someone hit four corners and the next card Patt said, “that would’ve been MY four corners”. We all got a good chuckle out of that.

DON’T BANK ON IT!

In the event that you’re looking to change banks or open a new account, DO NOT go to Sun Bank. Lori has been going to her local branch to get Pokeno dimes for a while now. She goes in, gives ‘em $5 and gets her dimes for the night. Well, this month, Lori went in & was denied her dimes because she doesn’t have an account at their bank! Really? You’re a bank, this is what you do!!! Frustrated, Lori took her $5 to the Acme on the other side of the parking lot & got her dimes there instead!

FINAL THOUGHT

Fare thee well, summer! The season of The Great Pumpkin is now upon us! I look forward to seeing everyone next month at Spanky’s. And now, here’s some Snapple Facts for your face (thanks Lori): #302 – Ketchup was once sold as medicine! #790 – Your big toe only has 2 bones, while the rest of your toes have 3. Unless it’s my toes & they’re all shattered (scattered all over Manhattan)…

Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

July 2014 - Even More Summery Edition

This time, we all headed to Giggles to play. We all brought cash to order pizza. Lori also provided salad & wings. I made toffee bars & someone brought cannoli to have during our coffee break. We started our game at 6:30 and played our first cover all @ 8. Patt won all by herself! Second cover all was @ 9:15 when Patt won again, only this time, she had to split it with me. Patt was really on a winning streak this month! Read on to see just how lucky she was!  A good time was had by all! Even Spanky came out after having her tubers tied up 2 days before! Lots of funny stuff was said around the table, here’s just a sample for you:

For some reason, we started the night with Peg saying “blow me” as we came through the door. That’s a fine how do ya do…but I don’t really expect any less (ha, ha, ha)… This became our unofficial saying of the night. Then someone said something at some point about “premature ejaculation”. At this point, I don’t remember who or why, but it was said & laughs were had. Also, someone had “BONER” written on their dollar bill. Was it at the party? Was it somewhere else? Can’t recall that either, but it I know it happened because I wrote it down.

Marge called “center” well after it was gone. Without skipping a beat, Peg says, “Fuggeddaboutit…” we all cracked up.

As we played along, Debi noticed she has something & says, “I have the other P one!” Is it in the corner? Yes? Then that “P one” is called a “postage stamp”! Wow! It was super funny & we all had a good chuckle.

You might remember during our May game, I had to write an editor’s note about my negative comments against a certain Mr. Manilow. As usual, Giggles had a music mix going & decided to put on our May Summer Jam CD. This is when my comments were brought up at the table. We all had a good laugh & everyone agreed I was in the right for wanting to make myself deaf. And then…it happened… the table got quiet as a tale was weaved about a showgirl named Lola & her Tony. At some point during the song someone shouted, “This is torture”! Someone else said, “Now it’s gonna get stuck in my head”! Luckily (for 7 of us), Lori’s giant clock started bonging. It was just enough to drown out the part about Tony’s fight with Rico, and then it stopped. Aww, shucks! It stopped! Now Lola’s washed up & Kate tells us how this is a cautionary tale about why you shouldn’t be a showgirl or fall in love w/ a gangster or something… I’m just glad to know that the rest of you have my back w/ the Barry “hate”.

MYSTERY BAG

Once again, the hostess was responsible for the Mystery! Patt was the winner. Inside the Victoria’s Secret bag (here’s the secret…it’s not really from there) was a “growing” theme. Inside were packages marked:  FRIENDS, TREES, LOVE, MONEY, BUSHES & FAMILY. Each package contained something related. There was tea; a shot glass; $5; fly trap plant & other assorted goodies that I may have forgotten to jot down… So Patt will be responsible for the next Mystery. Lucky for her, she’s got quite some time to come up with something good!

SEPTEMBER POKENO

After everyone checked their schedules & noticed we were all simply too busy to all be in the same place at the same time during the month of August, we decided to skip it all together. Our next party will be a summer wrap luau @ the Tiki Bar. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20^th. Please get there at 5:00 & bring your favorite bite-sized dish to share w/ the group! So far, Lori’s bringing a veggie tray. You can all fill in the blanks, let me know what you’re bringing & I’ll keep you updated as the party approaches.

FINAL THOUGHT

It will be a while until we meet again, but now you have my happy blog thoughts to tide you over until then. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

June 2014 - Summertime Edition

The first official summer Pokeno was held this month @ Juggs’ house! We all had a good time munching on hoagies; fruit; caprese bites; Cheetos; chips/pretzels; various other snacks with chocolate cake & make your own sundaes for dessert. There was also a margarita ball chock full o’ delicious drinks. The hot tub was open, but only Deb & Patt took advantage before everyone showed up. The ice cream bar was fun too! Debi set out her Mystery from last month w/ all the toppings so we could build our own treats.

You might recall during our May game, we were quite forgetful about putting in. Well, as I was writing that right here on the blog last time, a light bulb went off over my head! Eureka!!! Way back in the original group of Pokeno “ladies”, we were forgetful as well. We made giant signs (8x11 & secured on handles made of giant pixy stix) to help remember. Mine had a giant middle finger on it! Anyway…it worked then, so I thought I’d bring it back to the table for this group of “ladies”. My new smaller design is pictured over there on the side. I made unique signs for all the sisters. Results of the signs actually helping were mixed. There were 2 times when signs were up, but we still weren’t all in! Oh well, I guess we try again next month & see what happens. If it still doesn’t work, you’re more than welcome to set your sign on fire, stomp the flames out (being super careful to NOT set your foot on fire) & then throw it in the trash!

We started the night around 6:30. Our first cover all was at 7:40. Some ladies forgot it was a cover all & only put in once! After all the maths were done, it got straightened out & Debi was the big winner. She won by herself only because there was only 1 card left (10 of hearts) & the rest of us needed it! So, if Deb didn’t win, it would’ve been a 6-way split! Yikes! We took our “coffee break” & started up again a little after 8.  Our final game was @ 8:50 when Peg & Lori split the winnings. Then, they took our money & left! Kate & Debi might have won, but they both missed cards that were called. 5 of us played until around 9:30 when Kate & Debi paid attention to all the cards and wound up splitting the pot. We all cleaned up & headed home after that.

MYSTERY BAG

Not only was Juggs responsible for hosting this month, but she also had to provide a Mystery. Lori was the winner! Inside the Victoria’s Secret bag was a “beach bum” theme: novel, bookmarks (or hair clips), sunscreen, bug spray, lip balm & portable blanket. Lori enjoys the beach, so she was really excited to get this & says it’ll be put to good use. I wonder what kind of Mystery Lori has in store for July…

JULY POKENO

We will be partying @ Lori’s house on SATURDAY 7/19 @ 5:00. We will be ordering pizza, so don’t forget to bring extra cash! Giggles will also provide salad & wings. I’m bringing dessert.

SUMMER HAIR DETOX

Here’s a tip if you’ve been swimming & really want to get all the salt or chlorine out of your hair! When showering, pour 1C of vodka on your hair. Let it sit 5 mins before rinsing really well & following with your usual shampoo/conditioner. Supposedly, this will strip all the toxins from your hair (also all the green if you’re blonde) & leave it with a super shine. Or, if you don’t really care what your hair looks like, skip the shower & drink the cup of vodka instead! You can always jump back in the pool or ocean to get rid of your funkiness…

FINAL THOUGHT

After I was scolded last month for making “mean” comments about one sister’s musical choices (won’t take a rocket scientist to figure out whom), I must take a moment here to issue the following “legal disclaimer” (the quotes note that it hasn’t actually been reviewed by an attorney, but I did briefly work for a shady lawyer once):

All thoughts, views & other nonsense expressed within this blog is the sole property of my brain & written from my view of events that happen around the table. My sincerest apologies to anyone who might be offended by anything published herein. However, if your choice in music makes me want to “shove a pointy object into my ear” I’m certainly gonna say so! Actually, I’ve been saying so for the last 35+ years now…  I understand not everyone has the same awesome taste in music as I do…but that’s just MY opinion! The Pokeno Rag has always contained & will continue to contain MY opinions until I decide to stop taking notes! Thank you for your understanding with this matter! Barry Manilow still sucks…ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2014 - Hot Damn! It's Summer Edition

Once again, we kicked off summer with a Tiki Bar Luau! The hot tub is still out of commission, so there was no tubbing this year. We still had a great time though! We ate pulled pork sliders; 2 kinds of chicken wings; macaroni salad; fruit salad; aloha bars; taco dip & lots of other good stuff! Cosmo made a “Summer Jams” CD for the evening. It included 2 songs from each sister. Thanks to everyone for your submissions! Buddha & Juggs were nice enough to submit something like 100 songs for the mix…maybe if Cosmo ever wants to put a “Pokeno Best Of” Box Set together, she can use all of the suggestions! Since musical tastes differ widely among our group, it turned out to be quite the interesting mix! “Copacabana” was on there for Marge. We all laughed & sung/danced along for the first few seconds…then the song went on…and on…and on…just how long is this song anyway??? You’ll be surprised to know, it’s actually just less than 4 minutes. You were there; you know it felt like an eternity! Aaaaahhhhh….excuse me while I shove this pointy object into my ear to make it stop!!! Kate was nice enough to give all of us our own CD as a lovely parting gift so you can enjoy your crunchy tunes all summer! Just remember to skip over track 11!

After eating & business, we started playing @ 6:30. Marge was on a winning roll! She won 2 super fat 4 corners. Peg was getting frustrated w/ losing when she says, “Can I get a flush?” Without missing a beat, Spanky replies, “Yeah, when you go to the bathroom!” WOW! Everyone started busting up! It was so funny! Somewhere during the evening, a bathroom break turned into a 20 minute intermission! After calming our tits, we got back to playing. There were many problems ensuring everyone was putting in. This was an issue ALL evening! Sometimes we get goofier towards the end of the night & forget, but we were especially special this month! Our first cover all was @ 8 when Patt won all by herself! We took another break for coffee & dessert. We resumed play until our final cover all @ 9:30. This time Spanky was the sole winner! Everyone gathered their stuff & headed for home a little before 10. Thanks again to Cosmo for a funky fun time @ the Tiki Bar!

MYSTERY BOX

Peg was responsible for bringing a Mystery to the party this month. Debi was the winner! The wrap job should’ve been our clue as to what was inside. After Debi opened the box portion & saw the ice cream set (bowls, spoons & tray), we figured out the pail w/ the sparkly dome was supposed to be an ice cream cone!!! After removing the top & looking in the pail, Debi found all the toppings (cherries, chocolate syrup, walnuts, whipped cream, etc.) plus a gift card for Shop Rite to cover the ice cream! It was a really cool Mystery! (ha ha ha) Debi says this will come in handy for when her grandkids are visiting.

JUNE POKENO

June’s party will be SATURDAY, JUNE 28^TH, 5:00 @ Debi’s house. Debi will provide an assorted hoagie tray & y’all can provide sides/snacks/salads/appetizers/etc.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

This month, we have 2 Pokeno sisters celebrating birthdays…Rooster & Juggs! Marge spent her b-day weekend in NY. Debi’s b-day was actually the night of our party, so she got to spend it w/ us! 

The week after Pokeno, for a belated b-day outing, I took Marge to Delaware for the day where we (after much trial & error) stumbled upon The Hagley along the Brandywine River. If you’re looking for a day trip that’s mostly outdoors where you’ll have to walk around amongst nature & get some history along the way, I highly recommend heading down to Wilmington & checking it out.

Happy birthday to you both! Hopefully you enjoyed your special day!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Before I go, I need to mention 2 things… this month; we lost someone in our extended Pokeno circle. Kate’s big, orange, loveable monster Gonzo had to waddle off to kitty heaven the week before our game. He lived a very long happy life & was one of the coolest cats I’ve known.  I like to think he’s up there lounging around like some ancient Roman god – on a couch, having someone feed him catnip & tuna 24/7. Occasionally he will chase a laser pointer. He was a good fuzzy man & he will be missed.

The other thing I’d like to mention is how 10 years ago this month, we lost one of our original Pokeno “girls” when Peg’s husband passed away suddenly. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t all get a chance to meet Dennis. You would’ve really liked him. For those of you who did, you know he was always there to crack a joke, trying to make you smile. I’m not trying to be a downer here (trust me…Dennis would NOT have wanted that), I just wanted to say that while he may be gone from the table; he’ll never be forgotten…

Now, cheer up "ya faggots"! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

April 2014 - Hippity Hoppity Edition

After one of the worst winters on record, spring has finally sprung!!! I hope the Easter Bunny even left some goodies under your Easter tree…no wait…that’s not right…anyway…we played @ Lori’s house this month. We dined on roast chicken, broccoli, sweet potatoes, macaroni & cheese; bread sticks; a Peep cake & other assorted goodies. After we were done eating & doing business, we started our evening at 6. The first cover all was played @ 8:30, when Debi won all by herself. We then took a break for cake & coffee (in a giant mug). No wonder I didn’t get to bed until after midnight! We started back up again at 8:45 and played on until almost 9:30 when we had our final cover all. Spanky won this one alone. We cleaned up & went home.

Lori & Peg came up with an idea for a game. It was “Hot Egg”! Kinda like hot potato, only with a plastic egg. We passed around the egg until the music stopped & the last person holding it was the winner. Each contained a little something: candy, dimes, candles & even a booby prize!  We started passing the eggs around the table nicely, but this got boring after a while. We decided to spice it up a bit by tossing the egg across the table, passing with little T-rex arms, juggling for a minute before passing, etc. This was super fun! At the end of the night, Debi had collected the most eggs. She won egg candles! Patt had the least eggs, but she still left a winner! Her conciliation prize was flower & notepad.

Another highlight of the evening was the “beer volcano”! I’ve seen a few beers in my day & I’ve never seen anything like this. Patt brought some frozen Coronas in a cooler to share. She left a bottle sitting on the table & went to the kitchen for something. All of the sudden, Debi says, “Uhh, Patt…there’s something wrong with your beer…” Next thing we know, the ice tube that formed when it froze was pushing it’s slightly melted way out of the bottle top, followed by the carbonated pressure underneath. This led to the ice bit popping up & beer exploding from below! We scrambled for towels & got everything cleaned up while we were cracking up laughing.

MYSTERY BOX

Picking a 10 as the highest card, Peg-a-la was the lucky recipient of my “movie” box. Inside my spring-ily decorated box was: microwave popcorn; some floss picks (to get rid of those pesky popcorn kernels); popcorn containers (to hold the popcorn while you enjoy your movie); coupons/cash for RedBox; various boxes of candy; napkins; a DVD of one of my favorite comedies – “Airplane” & a tray to serve snacks on. Peg says she likes to get together with Lori once a month to have a movie night, so this was a perfect Mystery for her/them. Now she’ll be responsible for bringing a mystery to the Tiki Bar next month.

MAY POKENO

For May, we will be getting our party on @ Kate’s house on SATURDAY, MAY 31^st @ 5:00 for our annual summer kick-off luau. Kate’s making pulled pork sliders & 2 kind of chicken wings; Peg’s making macaroni salad & Lori’s doing a fruit salad so far.

FINAL THOUGHT

Sorry it took me so long to get around to making this happen. It’s been crazy! I’m looking forward to unwinding & getting lei’d with you ladies in a few weeks! And on that note, I shall wrap up this edition of the Rag. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

March 2014 - Get Lucky! Edition

We're up all night till the sun (or 10 pm)

We're up all night to get some (dimes)

We're up all night for good fun (& food)

We're up all night to get lucky...

This month, we played at Spanky’s house. It was a comfy St. Patty’s theme. Some of us came in green, but all of us came comfy! We were one player short this month. That player was Kate. She was a no show because she had to attend her sister’s 30^th b-day party. So, there was some extra elbow room at the table, as well as more dimes and food for the rest of us! We dined on quite the buffet…there was spiral ham; twice baked potatoes; green deviled eggs; salad; biscuits; Irish soda bread; caprese skewers; Irish potatoes & pineapple pudding. I feel like I’m forgetting something there…probably still getting over the food coma! One person in particular who was suffering the effects of “super slow motion” was Juggs! All night, she was at least 3 cards behind, and just slow in general. This led to me mocking her every time w/ a seated slow-mo jog type thing. She laid down for a bit during break, which did recharge her batteries slightly.

We started @ 6:30, and broke an hour later to eat. The pots were going really quick all night! Nothing really got a chance to get fat. We started back up again about 20 mins later & did our first cover all @ 8. Hostess luck was w/ Spanky who won all by herself! We did our 2^nd cover all @ 8:45, when Debi & I split the winnings. See…I told you the nap helped her a bit… We wrapped up the party by 9. Phyllis passed out some lovely parting gifts. A glittery shamrock door hanger (you can see mine on my kitchen door over there) & a googly-eyed shamrock magnet. Funny story about the photo over there…when I came home from Pokeno, I stuck the magnet to my living room door. The boys woke up the next morning & thought it was really cute & started playing with it. I stopped them & said, “Lemme get a picture before you destroy it” & snapped the pic real quick. Don’t you know, no sooner did I get done when Nathan ripped off the bottom stem? Oh well…now my shamrock is stem-less.

MYSTERY BOX

Lori was responsible for the March Mystery. For the first time since St. Patty’s 2013, I actually won! The next day, Lori noted that I have won almost all of the Mysteries that she’s given away! I thought about it & it’s totally true! I won her Halloween one, I won her Christmas one, I won a snow-themed one & I won the last spring one! That’s at least 4 off the top of my head…

Anyway, all cowinky-dinks aside…I bet you wanna know what was in the box? I’m sure you don’t remember… This box was “Giggles’ Top 10 Favorite Green Goodies”! There were 10 little packages that I had to unwrap in order from 10-1. I do NOT remember the order, but I do remember the items: green juice (that went immediately to Peg-a-la!); shamrock cookies; thin mints; candle; coconut lime hand soap; blank note cards; spearmint leaves (will share w/ everyone next month); tic-tac mints; mint cocoa; mint tea & cash! What a fantastic box! I love that Lori took the time to put herself into the package & make it extra personal. Thanks again Giggles!!! Now I’ll be responsible for passing the box along at our April party…

HOP INTO SPRING!

Our next party will be held @ Lori’s house. We went to plan this during “business time”. There were only 2 weekends that would work for everyone, the 5^th or the 26^th. We originally all agreed on the 5^th. But, when I texted the date to Kate (thank you modern technology!), turns out to be her sister’s bridal shower…this sister of hers sure is taking up a lot of Kate’s “foxy” time…but we still had the 26^th as an option, so that was proclaimed to be the new date of the party! I mean, feel free to show up on the 5^th, but I can’t guarantee anyone will be there…

Spring Pokeno will be SATURDAY, APRIL 26^TH @ 5:00. Lori will be making a roast chicken, Peg’s making mac & cheese, Patt is steaming broccoli, I’m bringing parm garlic bread sticks, Debi’s providing olives & cranberry sauce, Marge is making sweet potatoes & Phyllis is going to bake a cake.

IRISH PHILOSOPHY

There are only 2 things to worry about; either you are well, or you are sick

If you are well, there’s nothing to worry about!

If you are sick, there are 2 things to worry about…either you will get well, or you will die.

If you get well, you have nothing to worry about!

If you die, there are 2 things to worry about; either you’ll go to Heaven or Hell

If you go to Heaven, you have nothing to worry about!

If you go to Hell, you’ll be so damn busy shaking hands with your friends; you won’t have time to worry!

And on that note, I shall wrap up this edition of the Rag. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

Happy 2014 Edition!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We played our first game of the new year @ Debi’s house. This was our comfy happy appy party. After the weather people warned of possible snow on Saturday, we went about our “emergency preparedness” guidelines & wound up rescheduling the party for Sunday instead. Marge was in NY & Peg was a no show because she wasn’t feeling well all week. Some of us came in comfy clothes. Apparently, everyone but Phyllis & I saw the notes where I told you to wear jammies/sweats. But, everyone was comfy anyway! It was an incredibly relaxed party. Thanks again to Debi for being such a wonderful hostess!

We took the first 2 hours to stuff our faces with crab balls, dumplings, a ham ring, red velvet cupcakes & other assorted goodies. We finally started playing @ 5. We did our first cover all @ 6, when Lori & Kate split the winnings. We had our last cover all @ 7. Hostess luck was w/ Debi on this one. She won all by herself w/ 6 cards left to be called! Kate was on a roll again this month winning centers all the time. She thinks her new coin purse she got for Christmas is “lucky”.

Patt noted that she cashed in all the dimes she won at the Holiday Party & had $32! She took her new found cash (stolen from their sisters…) and put it to good use to supply liquor for a weekend at the beach house.

MYSTERY BOX

The very first Mystery of the year was Kate’s responsibility. The big winner was Lori! Inside the bag were a very sparkly foxy rhinestone pin & a shirt that read “I’m too old for this shit!” We all got a good chuckle out of that! Lori was so excited about the shirt & said she’d wear it for our next party. After we wrapped everything up & headed for home, she realized she left it behind! So, I guess she’ll have to prepare another outfit for the party instead. Debi, please remember to bring Lori’s forgotten Mystery to our next meeting!

ERIN GO POKENO

After much discussion & calendar checking, we just couldn’t all agree on a date that would work for February. So, we decided to skip it all together & go straight on to March.

We will have our St. Patty’s party at Spanky’s house on SATURDAY, MARCH 8^TH @ 5:00. Once again, we’re going to try for a “comfy” party. Please come in your comfiest outfit (jammies, sweats, etc) & hope the “luck o’ the Irish” is with you! Phyllis will be serving ham & twice baked potatoes, Patt’s bringing pineapple pudding, Peg is making cheesecake, Lori’s providing salad & I’m bringing tomato mozzarella skewers. If you can think of something you’d like to bring, please let me know & I’ll update the menu.

FINAL THOUGHT

There goes the very first blog of 2014! I hope everyone enjoys their month off. Even if most of that time apparently will be spent shoveling or keeping your kids occupied on all these snow days…  Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

December 2013 - Holly Jolly Pokeno Edition

As I sit here typing words, I must make a full disclosure at the beginning to tell you that I was NOT very diligent in my note-taking this month. Must’ve been too much holiday cheer! There are a few things I didn't write down, or just plain forgot…so…here’s my best recollection of the events of the evening. Thank you for your understanding.

For the second year in a row, we celebrated the holidays @ Marge’s apartment. A lovely time was had by all. The apartment was very festive with not just one, but two Christmas trees! We dined on ham, pineapple pudding, mac & cheese, assorted snacks & apple pie. Everything was delicious. As we were all talking about how full we were…Debi says, “I obviously hated all the food!” and pointed to her clean plate! Once we were done chowing down, we got down to business around 5:30. Patt was on a roll winning 3 in a row & then Pokeno. I think it was Kate on a roll winning lots of centers…I could be wrong, but someone definitely kept hitting it & I know for sure it wasn't me! We did our first cover all @ 6:30 when Marge & Debi split the winnings. We then took a break to exchange gifts (more on that in a minute). Peg was having a rough week, so she decided to leave early & head home to rest. The 7 of us played on, starting up again at 7:40. We did another few rounds & a final cover all that I won alone. We ended the party around 9(?) & headed for home chock full of good eats & fun gifts! Speaking of gifts…see the present round up below!

We were all very good girls this year because our Secret Santas were very good to us (as usual!) Here’s who gave what to whom: Since Marge was the hostess, she gave out her gift first. She gave Lori candles, long johns & possibly an ornament. I think I remember hearing Lori say something about that… Next up, Lori gave a gift to Peg. The top of the box was decorated with a bunch of yellow roses (for friendship!) Inside the box was a little stocking with a gift card for Bath & Body Works (oooohhh, smelly stuff!). Under that stocking was a cat stocking (see photo over there on the side) with a note “from the cats” telling Peg they’re “starving” & need more food/treats. She can use the Pet Smart gift card for that! It was Peg’s turn to give her gift to Patt. I wrote down “candy”, but I think there were some delicious chocolate covered pretzels in there somewhere too…plus she got an i-Tunes gift card. We all know Patt needs more music to keep her cruising around the tri-state area! Patt’s gift went to Marge. She gave her a box of her favorite cookies! Marge was very excited! Next to give a gift was Kate. She gave Debi a “bag of cheer” chock full of tiny airplane bottles & some other fun stuff. Debi had a gift to give to Phyllis. After Spanky was done licking her gift…she opened it to find a tiny penguin snow globe, as well as a bigger snow globe w/ snowmen inside. Phyllis picked a gift from the pile & gave it to me! I plunged into my gift bag to discover a bag of my favorite “Jamaican Me Crazy” coffee! I was SO excited to get this & inhale its coffee deliciousness that I didn't even realize there was anything else in the bag. There was also a really funny card & a beautiful amethyst/diamond bracelet. Last but not least, I got to round out the gift giving by handing my bag over to Kate! Inside the bag was a tin of cookies (just for her – I also baked a “decoy” batch to throw off the hubby & kid), a mini Yankee Candle, a new change purse for Pokeno (covered w/ Cosmos!) complete w/ a roll of dimes inside, and a tube of cherry blossom lotion. Yes, we certainly were a bunch of good girls! Thanks again to everyone for your thoughtful gifts & being so generous to your sisters!

MYSTERY BOX

Marge wasn't just responsible for hosting this month’s party; she was also responsible for providing the Mystery this month. The winner this time was Kate (again)! Inside the inquisitive snowman box was a scarf, mug, cocoa, snuggie, gloves, hat & a smelly wax tart. After Kate put all of her items on, we realized she looked remarkably like a homeless person! Just check out the photo over there… So, Kate will be responsible for bringing the first Mystery of 2014 to…

HAPPY NEW POKENO YEAR

For our first Pokeno of 2014, we will be ringing in the new year @ Debi’s house! This will be our “happy appy” party. Get your comfy (jammies/sweats/etc.) on SATURDAY, 1/25 @ 5:00. So far, the menu is crab balls (no actual crab testes will be harmed); a ham ring; dumplings; hoagie tray; veggies & dip.

FINAL THOUGHT

I’m thrilled to have spent another year of fun-filled Saturdays (& sometimes Sundays) w/ my “foxy sisters”! Here’s to a 2014 filled with even more laughs, good food & more dimes coming in than going out! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

November 2013 - Happy Thanksgiving Edition

For the first time in quite a while, we played at Peg’s house! Everything was super lovely! Unfortunately, it was a bit too warm to have the fireplace going. Instead, there were candles blazing, lovely linens, leaf art by my boys, and some beautiful flower arrangements. I took a photo of the one from our table (over there on the side). As I was taking the picture, Phyllis commented, “It’s so lovely it would bring a tear to Martha Stewart’s eye!” We had a full formal sit-down dinner first. We were thankful for all the good cooks in our group by eating a whole bunch of turkey, stuffing, two different kinds of potatoes, green bean casserole, veggies, pineapple pudding, corn muffins, assorted snacks, cranberry sauce & pecan pie cupcakes for dessert. Peg had put 2 tables together & we were figuring how we were all gonna reach the cups when Marge mentioned how they have a tray w/ cups for the Pokeno games @ the old folks home. Peg got a tray from the kitchen. The cups went in & we passed around for filling/emptying. It worked very well & everyone was in all night!

We also had an unexpected guest join us for a little bit. Peg’s neighbor came over to help her get ready & he decided to stick around. He joined us for dinner & sat by to watch us play for a while. After he started nodding out on the couch (we must be super exciting), he got up to say, “I gotta go put my dog out”. Patt says, “Is that code for something”? We all laughed. Then we started taking bets of if he would come back. He didn't so; those extra dimes were placed into the first cover all.

After we got done stuffing our faces, picking a winner for Mystery & discussing our holiday party, we finally started playing @ 7. We did our first cover all @ 9 when Patt was the big winner! The final cover all was @ 9:30 (so Phyllis could call). This time, hostess luck paid off & Peg was the winner.

MYSTERY BOX

Kate was responsible for providing a Mystery for November. Marge was the winner! This was an interesting box. It was a lovely box with clocks all over. When it was opened, there were 2 parts. Part 1 had a sign that read, “It’s better to give than receive”. Under the sign was a canned food donation for Jacob’s school. Part 2 had a box with a Grinch sign that said, “Fuck that shit” & inside that box was quite possibly the best Mystery ever in the history of Mysteries. No offense, you’ve all provided lovely boxes over the years, but I’m guessing you’ll agree with this statement. You were there…you know what it was. No need for me to elaborate further. All I know is that Marge is gonna have a heck of a time following this one up…

HOLLY JOLLY POKENO

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…although; most retailers have had it looking like Christmas since before Halloween. Anyway, we will be gathering together at Marge’s this year to share tidings of good cheer. Pay close attention to this one…our party will be SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY 12/29 @ 4:00. Wear your stretch pants again, because this time we’ll be stuffing ourselves with a full Christmas feast! So far on the menu we have ham, green bean casserole, mac & cheese and apple pie for dessert. It looks like we still need sides/appetizers & such. I will probably stop by Dunkin’ on the way for a big ol’ Box O’ Joe. Any coffee drinkers that would like to chip in towards some liquid crack, donations will be accepted!

Don’t forget!!! Please bring your Secret Santa gift! A present-less Pokeno Sister is a sad Pokeno sister!

SHOUT OUTS!

Shout Out #1! I’d like to take this spot to wish our Pokeno treasurer a very happy birthday! Spanky turned another year older this month…in age only… She was supposed to celebrate by going to a fancy dinner with her hubby. We all hope you had a great day!

Shout Out #2! As Kate’s Mystery said… it’s better to give than receive! I’d like to take this spot to say thanks a bunch for your donations for Jacob’s school food drive. I left with 2 bags FULL of stuff for needy families. There was SO much that I had to work out a deal to meet the teacher at the end of the day (for a few days) with bags of cans because there were too many for Jacob to carry in by himself! On behalf of my son, his teacher & his classmates…thank you in advance for the upcoming pizza party they will get. Thanks also for helping all those families that will benefit from your generosity!

FINAL THOUGHT

Let’s all take a moment here to stop & be thankful for whatever it is you’re thankful for… Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

Happy Halloween 2013 Edition

Another Halloween was celebrated at Spanky’s house! We had a Pirate Wench (Spanky) complete with talking parrot; Inflatable Wacky Arm Waver (Cosmo); a Hooker (Lori); a Witch (me); “Sister” Juggs (Debi as a nun); Dirty Dorothy (Peg); a Painter (Marge) & Patt who “doesn’t do costumes”. We cashed in almost $40 in discarded dimes & used them to order some food. We also had “steaks through the heart” (tomato/mozzarella bites); pond scum to drink; white chocolate raspberry cheesecake by Peg-a-la & other assorted snacks. Phyllis wrote a poem dedicated to the classic monster movies of the 30’s & 40’s. She also had the TV playing the Halloween channel. There were some good tunes, but there were also sound effects sprinkled in between. This freaked out Marge who noted the sound effects were “creepy” especially right across the street from the graveyard! Not to worry! If the zombie apocalypse came, I think we’d be ok to defend ourselves @ Spanky’s house! Plus, Sister Juggs brought rosary beads & a bible, so that would be helpful if any vampires showed up.

This year, Phyllis had 2 games for us to play. First was the “bats in the belfry” game. Everyone was given a bat at the start of the night & if you hit center, you stole a bat from one of the other ladies. I was on a roll with 5 at one point, but all my bats were plundered & in the end, it was a tie between Debi & Lori. There was a sudden death card draw and Debi had the higher card to come out victorious! She won a “Haunt your house” bag full of Halloween decorations. The 2^nd game of the night was played during our halftime break. There was a skeleton hanging on the door to the bathroom. We were each presented with a personalized bone. As they were being passed out, Debi noted, “Isn’t everyone just waiting for a bone with their name on it?” We all got a good chuckle out of that one! We were then blindfolded & escorted to the door area where all tried our best to give the skeleton a “boner”! Most of us were in the right area. Lori however…well…hers wound up over by the elbow! Anyway, it turned into a “bone off” between Debi (again) & Patt. They were both very close. Phyllis had an idea of where it was supposed to go, but it was still too close to call. On the edge of our seats, waiting patiently for a winner to emerge, Patt graciously declined the prize & gave it up to her BFF. Debi was a winner (again…there’s a pattern here tonight). This time, she won the very beautiful mask we used for our game.

After comparing costumes, chilling out, stuffing ourselves with snacks & doing business type stuff, we finally started playing @ 7. We took a break @ 8 to eat. We resumed game play @ 8:30. An hour later, we did our first cover all. It was a 3-way split between me, Kate & Debi (again). We finished our night around 10, when Phyllis won all by herself with 7 cards left to call. Looks like the hostess luck was with her for that one!

MYSTERY BAG

Patt was responsible for the October Mystery. Kate was the winner! Inside the pumpkin bag was: a glow stick; glowing pumpkin; a “blessings” candle; pink ribbon tissues & an apple kitchen scrubber holder (that Peg tried to smuggle in her costume). This means that Cosmo will be responsible for bringing a Mystery to our “Thankful” party next time. Oh, will you look at that…

NOVEMBER POKENO

Come & be thankful at Peg-a-la’s house! Peg will open her home to us once again to have a formal sit-down turkey dinner. Hopefully it will be cool enough to have the fireplace going. That makes it extra cozy! Get your stuff together & get ready to stuff your face on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16^th @ 5:00. We decided on the earlier start time because we will have a nice dinner first, and then get down to playing. We will be dining on turkey; stuffing; green bean casserole; twice baked & sweet potatoes; pineapple pudding; corn muffins; cranberry sauce & pecan pie cupcakes for dessert. Might I suggest wearing stretch pants?

FRIENDLY REMINDER!

Believe it or not, it’s that time of year once again! Our annual holiday party is creeping every closer which means…presents!!! I will be passing out Secret Santa slips during our Thankful party @ Peg’s. You will have space for 3 items you would like to have. There will be a $25 limit. So, put your thinking caps on & start thinking so you’ll be prepared.

FINAL THOUGHT

You ladies never cease to amaze me with your crafty costumes! Thanks again to Phyllis for being the “Queen of Halloween” & hosting such a great party! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

September 2013 - Aloha Summer Edition

So long summer my old friend…it’s time for fall once again… We said “aloha” summer & “aloha” fall at the Tiki Bar. Cosmo made lasagna for us. We also had: zucchini w/ cheese & sun dried tomato; garlic Parmesan bread sticks; Parmesan ranch bacon dip; assorted snacks & quite possibly the most delicious dessert I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Phyllis warned us from the beginning that we might die from how good this cake was, or from all the bad stuff in it. She tried to get us to sign waivers saying we were taking responsibility for whatever may happen. We thought she was joking…until after we ate, Patt & Deb wound up in a “food coma” passed out on the couch. The comas were well worth it though! Of course everything was tasty, but this cake was just something else. Phyllis was worried because she never made it before, but we were very happy to be her guinea pigs! One little fact that nobody mentioned to Marge beforehand, was that this thing is chock full o’ coffee – it’s soaked into the cake, it’s mixed in the frosting, etc. So, Marge is sitting there devouring her slice of cake & going on about how great it is. Then someone mentioned the coffee in there. All of a sudden…she thought it tasted funny & didn't want to eat anymore. We called shenanigans on that – you can’t gush about how yummy something is (while food in your mouth) & then decide in the next bite that it’s no longer good! Marge agreed that even though she doesn't usually do coffee, this was a delicious exception.

Once we squared away business, Peg said she had an announcement to make. She then pulled out her version of the “Pokeno Rag”! She was the “field reporter” & Lori helped by being the “editor”. Peg wrote & read us a super sweet story about how she found an adorable kitten in her yard. He was being stalked by turkey vultures, so she brought him inside where she played “nanny” & tried to find him a good home. Funny thing about that…since we lost our “Ubi” back in February, we were looking to add another cat to our house. Peg delivered our new kitten a few weeks ago & my kids couldn't be happier. Jacob was so happy; he cried “tears of joy”! He’s been named “Ludwig von Cathoven” and is fitting into our family just fine! I even put a cute little photo of him over there on the side…

Phyllis also had a very important announcement to make…she’s very upset that she hasn't had the opportunity to call in the last 2 months! We all mocked her of course! She did wind up getting her chance to call, so at least we won’t have to listen to her whine again next time. Our hostess gave out fabulous parting gifts of flamingo drink floats. It was noted that the will work in a pool or a bathtub! We called our first cover all @ 9:30. Debi won it alone. Since her dime cup was overflowing she pulled an Oprah & gave dimes away! You get some; you get some…everyone at the table gets some! We played a few more rounds & did our final cover all @ 10. I can’t believe I have to report this, but Debi won that one all by herself too! A good time was had by all (especially Deb). Thanks again to Kate for a lovely evening @ the Tiki Bar!

MYSTERY BOX

Debi was responsible for this month's Mystery. It had a "back to school" theme. Patt was the winner! Inside the little storage crate was a tiny storage magnet (for the fridge); post it notes; hand sanitizer; pen; index cards; water bottle; tissues & a magnet that said, "sometimes I laugh so hard that the tears run down my leg!" Patt will be responsible for bringing a trick or a treat to our Halloween party. Speaking of which...

HALLOWEEN PARTY

Are you ready to do the "Monster Mash"? I hear it was a graveyard smash... Figure out what your costume's gonna be & get over to Spanky's house (conveniently located right across from the graveyard) on SATURDAY, 10/26 @ 6:00. There will be lots of tricks & treats for all!

Here's a treat... All those dimes that have been dropped on Phyllis' floor have been being collected. She was very pleased to announce during our September meeting that all those dimes have added up to $36! We all talked about it & agreed to use the money towards having our party "catered" by a local delivery place. You will have access to the menu before the party. Please go review it, let me know what you want & I can pass the orders along to Spanky who will call in our order way ahead so it will be there at game time! While $36 is quite a few dimes, it's not going to cover the entire food bill. Please bring $5 with you to cover part of your food & tip for the delivery person. Peg will be making cheesecake for dessert. Phyllis will provide snacks & beverages, but we still need sides & appetizers.

POKENO SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Debi remembered to wear her special bracelet that Phyllis gave out at the Toga Party last month. While we were sitting there, she told Phyllis how the little card charm had fallen off & this made her sad. Can it be saved? Of course it can! "Super Spanky" is here to help! Phyllis wants everyone to know that if anything happens to your bracelet, you can bring it with you to a party & she will be happy to fix it for you! It tell you...is there anything this sister can't do?

FINAL THOUGHT

I can't wait to see what all you ghouls come up with for the Halloween party! Until next time, my the foxiest bitch win!

July 2013 - Toga Party Edition

Believe it or not, it’s been 6 years since Spanky started hosting our annual Toga Party. This year was no exception! We were going to go in the pool before the party, but after we chilled out around the table for a little bit, we just decided to get our togas on & chill out some more. Eventually, we all gathered round the table to stuff our faces with all kinds of BBQ goodies, salads, snacks, cookies & donuts. I sprained my foot/ankle the day before Pokeno, but of course I still managed to make it to the party. My priorities are with my ladies…hurt foot be damned! Big thanks again to everyone for helping me out during the evening!

We started playing a little before 7. We had our first cover all @ 8, when Kate & Debi split the winnings. We played a few more rounds & did a final cover all @ 8:30 where Debi won again & split with Peg. We wrapped it up a bit before 9 because not only was I incredibly uncomfortable w/ the whole foot/ankle situation, but my husband had to do an overnight work thing. Some stayed to enjoy the pool after we wrapped it up for the night.

Once again, Spanky had a “panty raid”! Since we were 1 player short (no Marge), nobody had to take the giant bloomers! When we first started, Peg wanted to be sure the panties weren't used & were clean. Phyllis assured her that these are the same pairs of panties we've been raiding for the last few years now & they were clean! Patt was on a roll for a while (see photo evidence over there on the side), but as soon as she started boasting, she started losing panties. At the end of the night, Debi (who apparently hadn't won enough) had raided the most panties. She got a lovely floral arrangement to take home! Before we left for the night, our fantastic hostess was nice enough to pass out parting gifts. Inside our little boxes were personalized bracelets! Each one had our pledge name & a charm with our card symbol on it. I modeled mine over there on the side so you can see what an awesome job Phyllis did.

MYSTERY BAG

I was responsible for the July Mystery. There was a “picnic” theme to it. Debi was the winner! Inside the bag was: waterproof ground covering, Country Time lemonade, cups, plates, napkins, snacks, bird identification book, mini cooler, pack of cards, paper airplane, flatware, bug spray, and a bag to carry everything in. The following night, Debi & Patt went to a festival concert. Patt said the cooler was very handy to carry beverages in & they smuggled some of the snacks into the venue too. Always glad to be of help! So, Debi will have a whole month to plan her Mystery for September.

SEPTEMBER POKENO

Believe it or not – summer is almost over. We will wrap up the season where we started it…at the Tiki Bar! Get to Kate’s house on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 7^TH. The hot tub & bar will be open @ 5 if you’d like to relax a bit before playing. Otherwise, get there @ 6 to get down to business. As of right now, Kate will be providing some delicious lasagna for us to eat. I’ll update you on the rest of the grub as the party gets closer.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Snapple Fact #730 – The fear of vegetables is called lachanophobia. Lori was kind enough to find & share this with us. I’m pretty sure my 8 year old suffers from this!

Carlos Danger? You may (or not) have heard about Anthony Weiner. If not, let me fill you in…he’s a giant perv from NY. He was previously a congressman. When it was reported that he was sending naked pictures of himself to various women who weren't his pregnant wife, he resigned in disgrace. You’d think after all that, he would learn his lesson. But as a true politician, he went on to tell America how he’s a “changed man” & all that. Then he threw his hat into the ring to become mayor of NYC. That’s when it came out that he was in fact NOT changed at all & still sexting various ladies. In order to disguise his true identity, he was using the screen name “Carlos Danger”! When we were discussing this topic, Debi told me about a name generator. Here’s the link if you want to copy & paste into an internet search to figure out your own code name. Mine was “Antonio Jeopardy”!

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/low_concept/2013/07/carlos_danger_name_generator_use_our_widget_to_get_a_name_like_anthony_weiner.html

Lady of the night? Lori has been working very hard to get healthy. She’s been walking around town every evening in order to stay active/shed some pounds. Peg (being the swell friend she is) reminded Lori that “hookers get picked up walking around here”. Of course Peg was kidding. We’re all proud of you Lori, keep up the good work!

FINAL THOUGHT

It’s been 6 years since we were given our nicknames & took the official “Foxy Pledge”. Just thought I’d remind you what it says because I’m sure you've forgotten by now…

I do hereby pledge that in the presence of a Pokeno Sister I will share the following: a friendly smile; a dirty joke; good gossip; words of encouragement; my Pokeno chips (if needed). I pledge this in the name of the sisterhood known as “The Foxy Bitches”. May our dimes be plenty, our cocktails always full, our cards be winners & our spirits always high! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

June 2013

This month, we played at Lori’s house. There was lots of delicious food! Lasagna; bread sticks; bacon ranch dip; salad; fruit; assorted cookies & daisy cake. Once again, the music was great. Lori made a special summer mix to play this time. The “super moon” was out so we took a break to go check it out & take photos. That was the only clear shot we had all night. We thought it would look really cool driving home; however, it was covered by hazy clouds! Probably better to not be distracted while driving anyway…

We had a very short night this time. We started playing @ 7:00. By 8:30, Peg was too tired to go on & decided to head for home. We did our only cover all @ 9:00 (Phyllis won all by herself) & everyone left! Patt had to be somewhere early on Sunday, so her & Marge had to go. Kate wasn't feeling well. She had a migraine & actually wasn't going to come. At the last minute, she decided to put her big girl panties on, take a bunch of Excedrin chased with some caffeine & come out for the night. However, by 9, she couldn't hang in there anymore, so we left too. This may have been the shortest Pokeno game in our history. But…everyone still had a good time. As we were leaving, Lori gave us all goodies bags w/ scented fake roses, bubbles, bracelets & beachy Yankee votive candles. And, I’m very excited to report that nobody ran into the giant clock this time!

MYSTERY BAGS

Patt was responsible for June’s Mystery. Everyone picked cards. Lori had an Ace. Everyone else checked their cards & knew they couldn't beat that. I took my card & totally forgot that Peg was on my left & neglected to let her pick a card. After MUCH ado…we decided on a re-pick. This time, I got the high card. I offered to split winnings w/ Lori, but she declined.

The bags were all about “comfort”. Inside Bag #1 was a lumbar support; moisturizing socks (step 1: apply moisture); cake notepad w/ pen; envelope of chicken noodle soup; bag of micro popcorn; travel bottle of Advil; dark chocolate (I gave to Lori for all her trouble with the pick); antibacterial wet wipes; mini bottle of Southern Comfort & crossword puzzle book. Patt & Marge had a story for the contents of Bag #2. Apparently, they had been running all over the place all day looking for this particular item. After hitting many stores, they gave up. While driving back, Marge spotted the mystery item in a parking lot. Patt stopped the car so Marge could jump out & trash-pick the item. After the story was told, I was allowed to go into the bag to discover a neck pillow from the Borgata. They assured me that it could be “spot cleaned”.

JULY TOGA PARTY

For the 6^th year in a row, we will have our annual Toga Party @ Spanky’s house. Get ready to party on SATURDAY, JULY 27TH. If you’d like to swim for a bit, please bring your bathing suit/towel & get there @ 4:00. If you just wanna get down to business, please get there @ 5:00. So far the menu will consist of the usual BBQ fare: burgers, hot diggity dogs, fried tomatoes w/ gravy, fruit salad, tomato salad, pasta salad & pink lemonade bunt cake for dessert.

RANDOM FUNNY

Diversion garden? When you get to the Toga Party next month, ask Spanky to show you her garden! While we were waiting for Cosmo to show up so we could head down to Lori’s, Phyllis told me about her rabbit problem. She has peppers, tomatoes & other various plants growing in her backyard. One day, she went to check their progress (she needs those tomatoes for the Toga Party) when she realized the bunnies were eating ALL of her plants! Oh no!!!! These bunnies don’t understand…if there’s no fried tomatoes…there WILL be rioting among the Pokeno Sisters! In a moment of brilliance (or insanity…not quite sure which) – Spanky decided the only option was to plant a “diversion garden” full of goodies that bunnies like. So, she planted a bunch of carrots, lettuce, etc. in the hopes that this will work.

SHOUT OUT!

Now that summer is here & school is out, I wanted to take this moment to thank you guys for saving all those Box Tops & Labels over the last year for my kids’ school. I’m pleased to announce, that thanks to all your clipping…Jacob’s class was rewarded with a pizza party the last week of school.  Even though school’s out, you can still save them for me for next year. Thanks again!

FINAL THOUGHT

Since I don’t have anything witty to wrap up with here this month, I’ll share some useless trivia instead. Did you know that June has 3 birthstones? They are pearl, alexandrite or moonstone. June’s birth flower is the rose. Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity not too far from us on 6/15/1752. June is also “Turkey Lover’s Month” (hopefully that means they love to eat turkey & not love it in a dirty way). It’s also “National Candy Month”. Unless you’re me…and that holiday is celebrated all year long! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2013 - Luau @ the Tiki Bar Edition

It was time to kick off the summer season with our annual Luau @ the Tiki Bar! We dined on Polynesian pork; Teriyaki chicken; caprese bites; tropical fried rice; sticky bun cake & other assorted goodies. Thanks to the thunderstorms that rolled through, we weren’t able to enjoy the hot tub. We probably started somewhere around 6 (I think). Peg was a no show this month as she was already having a rough week, plus she picked up a new patient & was just too tired/worn out to come play. It was all good; we played on with the 7 of us.

Kate was playing music on her TV. We were listening to a good mix of tunes, but some of the facts & pictures showing up were just too much! First was the photo of doo-wop star Frankie Valli who looked more like a serial killer than a “Jersey Boy”. Then there was the photo of the elderly couple who were overly happy about their new catheters! What??? One fun fact we discovered was Dusty Springfield’s real name. It’s Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien. No wonder she changed it!

We did our first cover all @ 8. Phyllis won all by herself! We did the 2^nd cover all later where I won all by myself! At the end of the night, Kate passed out little bottles of nail polish & nail files with hibiscus headbands attached.

MYSTERY BASKET

Not only did she get to be “hostess with the mostess” this month, Kate was also responsible for giving a Mystery away. Patt was the winner of a basket full of manicure/pedicure goodies! There were tons of different colored polishes, files, polish remover, toe separators, even a bottle of Palmolive & soaking dish. Patt was very excited to win (even though she’s not much of a nail painter) & was making plans to take her goodies to the beach house w/ Debi for a girly nail night.

JUNE POKENO

We will play at Lori’s house once again. This time will be on SATURDAY, JUNE 22^ND @ 5:00. This is a super comfy party, so please come in your most comfortable attire. Please remember that Lori’s house gets kind of warm, so if it’s really hot that day, dress accordingly! Lori will be making lasagnas for us. You guys have to fill in the rest of the blanks – snacks/appetizers/dessert.

FINAL THOUGHT

So…there you go. That will wrap up another action packed edition of the Rag. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

Spring Has Sprung! April 2013

We had a “spring fling” @ Debi’s house this month. Marge was sick, so she did the smart thing & kept her contaminated ass at home. I mean that with love of course... Peg over-booked herself. She had a retirement party to go to that she thought was the weekend after Pokeno. The party turned out to be the same weekend, so she had to do that instead. We dined on pizza, wings, chocolate cherry crisp w/ ice cream, pot stickers, crab dip, ham ring & fresh fruit.  

This year, instead of an egg hunt, Debi set up a “flower hunt” for us. She placed various springtime flowers around her house & we all got to choose one to take home! I passed out boxes of candy & dimes w/ Cheeto carrots on top. We started playing @ 7. It was a very relaxed game…even with all the candy we were eating! We did the first cover all @ 8:30. I won all by myself! The second cover all was around 10. Kate & Debi shared that one. We all know that Juggs needed more dimes…she told us she cashed in around $25 (minus a small fee that Patt charged for using her bank) & still had a whole cup full!

MYSTERY BOX

I was responsible for the April Mystery. Kate was the winner! I managed to recycle the box & some paper (that I turned into decorations). Inside the recycled box was a basket full of pampering goodies: shower/bath stuff, hair stuff, Puff, candles, lighter w/ recycled duct tape, candy, carrot, tea, and half of the roll of dimes I won in last month’s Box. Now, Kate will be responsible for being hostess as well as providing the May Mystery. Who will win? Check back in this spot next month for the answer…

COME GET LEI’D AT THE TIKI BAR

Once again, we kick off the summer season @ Kate’s house. We’ll play SATURDAY, MAY 11^th. If you’d like to come relax in the hot tub for a little while before the game, please bring your bathing suit & get there @ 4:00. If you’d like to get right down to eating & playing, please get there @ 5:00. Thanks to modern technology, we sent text messages to the sisters who were unable to be at the table to be sure we scheduled a date that would be good for everyone! We will be dining on teriyaki chicken, Polynesian pork, tropical fried rice & tomato mozzarella bites. If you haven’t done so already, please let me know what you’d like to bring so I can update the menu.

RANDOM FUNNIES

Meowf? Before we started playing, Debi’s dog decided he was going to be nasty. I can’t remember its name, but you might recall this as being the same dog that viciously attacked Marge @ Holiday 2011. Anyway, since the puppies couldn’t play well with others, Debi kept them in another room while we played to avoid any further nastiness. While we’re sitting around the table, we start hearing this really weird “meowing” noise. We thought there was a cat trapped somewhere or something. That’s when Deb told us it’s no cat…it’s her Chihuahua Killer (the one without a taste for blood)! It went on like this for a little while. Sometimes it even sounded like he was making words! We were all astonished later when Debi told us her husband had slept through it!

Jumpy butt? Phyllis suffers from this on game day. Lori says it sounds like dog disease! No, this is a disease of excitement & joy! Spanky gets so psyched up to see everyone that she just can’t wait until game time & she gets ants in her pants…or as she so eloquently put it “jumpy butt”!

Blind Cat Crossing! Continuing with the antics of the animals of Casa de la Juggs… Before we started playing, Deb noticed that her blind cat was still outside (it was a beautiful day) & told us that she may run past us to get inside. We played for a little bit & took a break on the lido deck. Kate was standing by the door. Next thing we know, this cat comes running up & makes a bee-line for the door – which Kate opened to let the cat inside!!! We laugh & I say, “Are you sure that was Debi’s cat? What if you just let some wild stray in there?” We all start laughing even harder! Eventually it was determined that it was in fact Debi’s blind old lady cat & she was supposed to be there.

Caulk! It fixes everything! Recently, we had some bad rain roll through the area. Patt & Deb went to the beach house shortly after. It turns out there was a lot of leaking! Patt thought it would be a good idea to head over to the local home improvement store & get some supplies to fix the problem. In her ever brilliant DIY moment, she knew that caulk would fix the problems! They stocked up on caulk & other supplies, and then headed back to the house. When they got back, they were too exhausted from their outing that they wound up NOT fixing anything! Patt invited all of us down to the house for a “caulk party”! We all declined. She tried again later on in the evening & it became a running joke.

FINAL THOUGHT

Now that spring has sprung, get out there to enjoy the sunshine & warmer weather! Take time to stop & smell the flowers. I’ll be sure to take my allergy meds before I do that… Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!