June 2008

I am happy to report the June Tea/Birthday Party was a big success! Well, after we all got there. Some carpooled from Marge’s house. Peg went straight over to from her job that morning. I get a phone call at 8:30 Sunday morning from Phyllis, “Ang…I’m not feeling so good today” and tells me about how she was at an event the night before & had a bit too much of a good time. So we all decide to drive up in one car. I was held up on the way to Marge’s due to a train. Phyllis waited the train out at her house before leaving. On her way there, Kate G. called her because she was having a crazy morning & was running late. Ok, we weren’t supposed to get to Patt’s until 1:00 anyway…we’re good. Kate shows up, we’re getting stuff together to go & we all make a potty trip before leaving. Uh oh…here’s an unexpected problem. Any other day someone would’ve been holding some sort of feminine protection, but not today! I can’t believe that out of 5 of us, nobody had anything. Now we have to stop at CVS on the way out of town. No problem! Get in the car, Kate L. starts complaining about feeling car sick – luckily for us, she didn’t hurl. Wait! We have to stop for gas. On the way to the gas station, Marge’s window won’t roll all the way back up. She did get that fixed (while at CVS). Ok, we’re leaving Jersey…at 12:45! We wound up in PA around 2. Peg got there 10 minutes before we did, so it actually worked out well. Everyone except for Missy attended. Her sisters were in from Vegas & they all went camping.

After we got settled, Patt & Debi (hostesses with the mostesses) directed us to the family room where there was a table full of visor hats, paint, glue, flowers, markers & other decorating stuff. We each got to choose a hat to personalize. We noted how funny it was that you can get 8 people in a room with all the same supplies & everyone did a completely different thing. Patt did her hat with a “T” in a heart. I had to ask her why it’s a “T”. I already knew the answer, “Because I love tea!” This hat was better than the one she greeted us with. She had on what she called her “urban jungle” ensemble. This included her jungle print dress & traditional African hat called a kofia. Check out the picture on the side.

Everyone was dressed in their finest lady costumes. Peg, Phyllis & Kate G. all wore flowery dresses. I’d also like to note that this was the first time in the 7 years that I’ve known her that I’ve ever seen Kate G. in a dress! Peg & Phyllis made hats to match their outfits. Marge, Kate L. & I were the Mad Hatter, Alice & Queen of Hearts from the Wonderland tea party.

As usual, the food was all exceptionally wonderful. Please see photo of Phyllis’ petit four desserts. Kate G. made roast beef, chicken curry & cucumber/cream cheese/watercress tea sandwiches. There was tea (iced or hot) or margaritas to drink. And did I mention we had some desserts? We had éclairs, 3 different types of tiny cupcakes, and the petit fours. Which I just now realized I didn’t sample! Dammit!!! I’m sure they were delicious though. Oh, and just to clarify…a petit four is a tiny little dessert. A pedophile is not!

We were also provided with bowls of Cheetos & Fritos. Debi & I were working the Cheetos bowl when Kate L. decided she wanted to trade bowls with the Fritos. I intercepted & blocked her while Debi growled at Kate to leave that bowl right where it was. Please note, do not try to take Cheetos away from Debi as it may have dire consequences. You have been warned!

Debi noted at one point during the afternoon that she “can’t think of a better way to spend a super hot Sunday” than to hang out & play cards in the central air with us ladies. Aww…how nice! It really was a lovely time. Everything was great. Thanks again to Patt & Debi for all your hard work to ensure a nice party.

MYSTERY BOX

Kate G. was responsible for the June mystery. She was sad to report that the box & paper that had been passing around since January had to finally be retired. She presented Phyllis with a Mystery “bag” this time. It was an orange bag (that she attached question marks to) filled with beach/pool goodies. There was a hat, sunglasses, lotion, aloe gel, beach ball sipper, candle w/ sand, magic towel & pedicure set. Phyllis will be responsible for July’s Mystery.

JULY POKENO

After last month, it was super easy to decide on July’s party. We will be having a Toga Pool Party @ Phyllis’ house on SATURDAY, JULY 26th @ 5pm. Please see below for instructions on how to make your toga. Just like last year, Phyllis (& Mark) will be providing some delicious crabs and other BBQ goodies for us to eat.

Also, please note the start time of 5:00. That’s because with our track record of everyone being at least an hour late, we’ll say 5 & everyone might be “on time” at 6:00. And if you get there early, you can chill out in the pool for a bit longer. I remember last year’s party was unusually cool for August & only a few actually jumped into the pool. If our current heat wave is any sign…it’ll be plenty hot to go swimming this time! Don’t forget to wear your bathing suit under your toga. Phyllis won’t allow skinny dipping.

While talking about upcoming parties, the August party will be an End of Summer Luau Blow Out at the Geib’s tiki bar. Kate ensures this year will be much more comfortable since they’ve had central air installed. For those of you who attended the luau last year, you might remember it was sweltering! We’ll square away a date during the July party. Prepared to get lei-ed!


THERE’S A MYSTERY TO SOLVE SCOOB…

After we finished up our hat crafts, we settled down to start playing. We were about 2 hands in when we realized there’s a beeping noise coming from somewhere. We tried to ignore it for another 3 rounds, but it started to become too annoying for some people to play.

What could be making that noise??? Cell phone? Nope, everyone has theirs on the table & they’re all charged/message free. We start playing some more. Then we timed the beeping. It was going off every 2-4 minutes. At this point, it turns into a full blown search party & we split up to go listen in different rooms. In the living room, Kate L. thinks she hears it coming from a bag next to Debi, but it’s not. We sit back down again, play another round. There’s still beeping. Is the smoke detector? No. The microwave? No. The cordless phone with a dying battery? Nope. None of the above. So we spend a good ½ an hour (at least) trying to locate the source of annoyance.

Turns out the beeps are coming from Debi’s pocket. She had her cell phone programmed to go off the whole time as a joke! Yea, ha…real funny! We had a good laugh & started playing again. About 10 minutes later, we hear a doorbell. Everyone panics as we’re all there & nobody else is supposed to be. We run around checking out windows/doors, only to find out that it’s the ring tone on Peg’s cell phone!

YOU SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY…

The birthday idea was a big success! With the exception of Peg who didn’t have a gift to open due to Missy being a no show. It was kind of ironic though because Peg had Missy as her Pollyanna too. They’ll catch up & exchange gifts at some other time. I passed out fairy princess wands, birthstone stars & Chamomile tea to all the ladies. Everyone got nice stuff! Gift cards, a beach kit, a “queen for a day” kit, tea & “medicine”, and secret stuff.

The best one was Phyllis’ gift to Kate L. About mid-week, Kate didn’t think she was going to make it to the party because she might have to work. She wound up busting butt & getting everything done Saturday so she was still able to attend. Phyllis decided that as her gift, she would make Kate L. a complete dinner for two. Chicken Alfredo, green beans almondine, biscuits, birthday cake for dessert, and a 6-pack of hard tea to wash it all down. Some of us knew what was in store (had to be kept cold at Marge’s while we were gone). Kate L. is very into gifts & wouldn’t shut up the whole time about opening her stuff. Then I started busting on her telling her that her gift wasn’t even there! This did manage to shut her up for a bit. We started opening gifts & saved her bag for last. Phyllis gave her a 6-pack of tea, dish towels, and other new apartment goodies, then told her to open the card that told her about dinner waiting at Marge’s. The worst part of all this is that Phyllis woke up Sunday morning at some ridiculous hour with a hangover & prepared the feast! If that was me, I’d just give her the tea & card with $5! Here’s to Phyllis for going above & beyond to provide a nice gift.

GENERAL HEALTH WARNINGS

Warning #1: In the event that you find yourself alone & choking, Peg told us that if you swing your arms up & down you can clear the blockage. Good to know.

Warning #2: Peg also told us that if you’re doing an at home massage (instead of going to see her), that when rubbing the muscle, the rule is “the deeper you go, the slower you go”. Of course we all busted out giggling at that, but this is still an important tip. This came up when Patt was trying to help rub Peg’s back. That turned into the full blown “massage train” you’ll see in this issue of the Rag.

Warning #3: Always check your board/card before starting game play. If it has a Queen of Diamonds or a 10 of Spades on it…return to the pile immediately!!! Both of these cards were “compromised” this month & you’re probably better off not using them.

HOW TO MAKE A TOGA

• Don't use a sheet
• Let me repeat that
• Don't use a sheet
Go to a cloth store and buy some cool cloth and, [shock of the century] SHEETS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE! CLOTH IS CHEAPER. You can go the cloth store and buy several yards of really cheap cloth and that probably looks a lot cooler than any sheets would. Plus, at the cloth store, you can get some cool fabric that really represents your personality, whether it is royal purple or Snoopy or Snoop Doggy Dog.
HOW MUCH FABRIC TO BUY?
• Six Yards: this is the official recommendation. I think it's too long.
• Five Yards: a little closer to reality, but still long, how much draping do you want?
• Four Yards: good enough for a simple man's toga, or a child's toga. Many people find FOUR YARDS will do the trick for almost any kind of toga. The design is simple:
• The toga cloth is basically long and narrow
• Pin one end of it to your waist
• Wrap it around you at least once
• Should hang to about the knees
• Pin it at the waist again, on the right or left side
• Throw the rest over one shoulder
• Around the back
• Pin it at the waist again
Now that's the basic design. Used by males at least. Variations used by females would be to use the some basic wrap design, of some form, often followed by small horizontal bands (leather, chain, whatever), accentuating waist and bust line. Usually women want to have the costume at least be attractive, whereas guys really don't care.

If you need actual step-by-step photo instructions on how to do your toga, just do a Google search & you will get a ton of different ideas

And that will wrap it up for this month’s edition of the Rag. Sorry it was a long one, but there was a lot to report on this time. So, until next month…try not to be a dumbass.