July 2012 - Toga Party Edition

Everyone busted out their togas & went to Phyllis’ house for our annual Toga Party! I’m pleased to say this year’s party went very well. No drama & no natural disasters! Well, unless you count the rain that stopped most of us from swimming. We dined on grilled goodies (burgers & dogs); fried tomatoes; Greek pasta salad; fruit salad; veggies; asst snacks & lemon cheesecake.

Phyllis once again did her annual “panty raid”. She had some of the old stand-by panties (including the “turd cutters”) from years gone by, but this year, she added a fresh pair of candy panties, along w/ a marshmallow dental floss (literally) version. At the end of the night, Lori had the most panties outta the bunch so she won the prize! Inside the gift bag was a Yankee candle & really cool candle holder. Lori was very excited to win!

The first cover all was a 3-way split between Phyllis, Debi & Lori. Phyllis said, “Should we split it or should I just take it all?” After we all chuckled, the ladies decided to split the pot (of course)! After lamenting that her bra had gone all the way down to “training” size, Kate hit the final cover all of the night all by herself! Kate was happy that her bra had increased in size.

MYSTERY BAG

In case you forgot – way back in May, Lori was responsible for the Mystery. Kate was the big winner. Since we couldn’t do the Mystery Box in June (due to our outing), she was responsible for bringing the Mystery back for the Toga party. After a sudden death match w/ Peg, I prevailed as the champion! Inside the Box was a knitted drink coozie that looked like a “Muppet Vagina” (according to my husband). The coozie will remain in my Pokeno bag only to be used at Pokeno events. At least nobody will steal my drink! If only there were smaller versions for lighters…

ALOHA SUMMER!

Oh summer, we hardly knew ye… Another sweltering summer has come & gone. We’ll be partying at the Tiki Bar on SATURDAY, AUGUST 11^th. Come at 4:00 (with your bathing suit & towel) if you want to enjoy the new hot tub gazebo (check out the photo on the side over there). Or, you can come at 5:00 if you just wanna get down to business. Kate will provide a main dish, Phyllis is making her super yummy pot stickers, Patt is making a fruit salad thing & I’m making a cake. We still need snacks & sides.

SEPTEMBER POKENO

In an unprecedented maneuver, we plotted out the next 2 months worth of parties at the same time. Even better, we did it without any problems! So, while you’re marking your calendars with our August game, you might wanna jot down the following game will be on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22^nd @ 3:00. Why so early? That’s because we’re meeting over in PA @ Patt’s house. And, while we’re talking about Patt…

PATT WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER

Back in January, Patt received a race car experience for her birthday. At the end of June, the time finally came to put the pedal to the metal!  She brought some photos to share with us. She said she was too short to reach the pedals so they had to prop her up w/ a bunch of pillows. All the pillows propped her boobs onto the steering wheel, so they had to change that out too. She said it felt like she was in a clown car! When it was finally her turn to drive, she stalled it out in 1^st gear before white-knuckling it & hitting 135 mph! Woo hoo! Hopefully she has adjusted to regular driving & won’t attempt to hit that speed on our local highways.

EXCITING NEWS EVERYONE!

I am proud to announce, that as of this publishing, our Sister Giggles is officially (around) 150 days sober! We’re all very proud of you! Keep up the good work lady!

RANDOM FUNNIES

The Buddy System! We were all outta whack when it came time to make sure there was actually the correct amount of dimes in each pot. Quite a few times someone forgot & had to fix it. One of these times, Phyllis was odd-woman out. We told her she needed a buddy. To which she replied, “I AM the buddy”! So much for the buddy system…

What’s on that Cake? Peg made a very yummy lemon cheesecake. She was upset about how the topping turned out brown. We didn’t care, it was still delicious. While we were eating it, Peg was explaining how she made the topping. Phyllis said, “Oh, like lemon curd”. Patt heard “lemon TURD”! What the whaaaa? No, not even close! I mean, I don’t know for sure, but I’m gonna guess that turds don’t taste quite that delicious!

Where Am I? At some point during the 2^nd round, someone was calling & Debi said, “Are we playing another game?” Yes Deb, yes we are. That’s kinda the whole point of being here at the table.

Don’t Go Out Back! Phyllis was in rare form this month. She was super hyper & at one point (I don’t even know why) she said, “We’re gonna have a knife fight! There are shanks in the backyard!” Then, Patt asked if it was gonna be a knife fight like in “West Side Story” & broke out her best Sharks v. Jets snaps!

Is That a New One? That’s what Phyllis said when Lori mumbled one of the cards during her call! Nope, it’s not a new one, just a mistake.

Get Funky! Much later in the evening, Patt’s phone started playing some super groovy dance music. Patt started dancing to it. We asked her what it was & she said it was her pill reminder. Peg said, “Well, it looks like you missed that last one”!

ONLY IN AMERICA!

In honor of our nation’s independence this month, here are a few things that could only happen in the land of the free & home of the brave: 

•  A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance
• People order a double cheeseburger, large fries & diet Coke
• You can get butter, Kool-Aid & bacon deep fried at your local street fair
• A former boxer made more money selling grills than during his entire professional boxing career
• You can become famous for making a sex tape
• In Talkeetna, Alaska they’ve had a cat as mayor for 15 years! His name is “Stubbs” (because of his stubby tail).
• We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway & put useless crap in our garage
• We buy hot dogs in packs of 10 & buns in packs of 8
• The Toledo Zoo began in 1900 because someone donated a bear to the town. The bear turned out to be a woodchuck!
• In Miami they have ATM’s specifically for people on rollerblades!

THIS IS THE END

I’d like to take a moment here this month to mention something terrible that happened just a few weeks ago. In a suburb of Denver, 12 people were killed & almost 60 were injured when a man came to the midnight showing of the new Batman movie dressed in full Kevlar, armed with tear gas & assault weapons. Now, I understand that we have the 2^nd Amendment to “bear arms” & everyone has different opinions on the topic. However, no matter what side of the debate you fall on, we should all agree that NO BODY (with the exception of military personnel) needs to be in possession of an assault rifle. They have one purpose only – maximum death & destruction! My heart breaks both as a Batman fan, and as someone who has lost loved ones to gun violence. I know exactly what the families of the victims & the shooter are going through right now. It’s the most awful thing you can imagine. So please, take a moment to be thankful for what you have. While you’re at it, take another moment to remember those who aren’t so lucky & just lost their loved ones to more unnecessary violence.

Stepping off my soap box for now…until next time may the foxiest bitch win!

June 2012 - Longwood Gardens Edition

And now for something completely different! For the first (and probably the last) time 7 outta 8 of us got together & ventured out on a trip to Longwood Gardens. I took 230 pictures & a bunch of them are over there on the side panel for your viewing enjoyment. If there's any that you would like to have for yourself, or if there was something that you liked, but wasn't published, please let me know & I will be more than happy to share them via e-mail.

This was no "vacation" for your ever-faithful Pokeno "secretary". I carried around a tiny notebook to take a few notes. Some points of interest are as follows:

• Patt cashed in $47 worth of Pokeno dimes on her way to the Gardens. This allowed her & Marge to rent power scooters. Debi also rented a scooter. Those of us who weren't wussies (ha, ha, ha) walked the entire grounds for about 4 hours.
• Mother Nature actually cooperated & gave us a beautiful day! We were all kind of scared about the weather as we had high 90-100 degree temps in the days leading up to our trip. There was also fear of a thunderstorm, but the weather people changed their minds because they knew the rain would ruin our plans & hell hath no fury like a pissed off Pokeno Sister! It was very hot in the direct sun, but luckily for us, most of the Gardens were shaded & breezy. There was a part in the middle where we were all ready to pass out from the heat & briefly entertained the idea of jumping in the fountain, but we didn't. Security didn't chase us down until the conservatory when Peg decided to give a tree a hand-job.
• We learned that the little black seeds you see when you're eating a banana are actually "aborted bananas". Mmm...that puts a whole new spin on my kids' favorite snack! Good thing I'm pro-choice.
• We also learned that the "green wall" (see photo) in the conservatory @ Longwood is the largest in North America. The only place with a bigger wall is China! Wait a minute...don't they already have a pretty good (some might say "great") wall over there?
• Phyllis had a great time going into all the buildings & explaining how this, that & the other were hers. She explained how the different rooms were for relaxing, or breakfast, or how the room full of grapevines in the greenhouse was going to be used exclusively for our Toga Parties!

At the end of the day, most of us had a really good time. But, I think from now on, we'll just stick to getting together around someone's table to play cards. Speaking of which...

CALLING ALL GODDESSES

Everything will be back to “normal” (I use that very loosely) when we all gather once again at Spanky’s table on SATURDAY, 7/28. The pool will be open @ 4:00. If you’re going to swim, don’t forget to bring your bathing suit & towel. We would like start business @ 5:00 if you don’t want to swim. Phyllis will be providing the main course of burgers (veggie & regular); hot dogs; fried green tomatoes w/ gravy & strawberry daquiris (with & without alcohol). Since she's doing most of the food work, she's asking that the rest of us bring sides, appetizers, or dessert.

THIS IS THE END

Thanks again to all the sisters who made the trek to Longwood. Lori, sorry you missed it! It was nice to do something different for a change. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2012

Party at the Tiki Bar! Whoop Whoop! Some of us showed up early to take advantage of island cocktails & a bubbly hot tub! It was unusually sunny & warm, but Kate turned the heating unit off & it was still just as relaxing! We ordered food to be delivered so (mostly) everyone got what they wanted! The pizza was supposed to be half “Hawaiian”, but showed up all plain. We thought about calling the restaurant back & demanding the right pizza, but it was just as easy to eat the plain stuff.

Marge was a no show this month because she was attending a wedding in North Carolina (congrats to Kristen & Chris). Most of us got to Kate’s around 4. Debi showed up around 5, but Peg (who was having a really bad week) didn’t get there until 6. By the time we got settled, we squared away business @ 6:30. We didn't start actually playing until 7:00! When all was said & done, we only played for about 2 hours total! But, we all had a good time.

Kate had some hostess luck (see below) & wound up calling first. This meant Phyllis had to call last. She almost didn’t even get her chance, but she did get in the final round. Anyway, Kate starts calling & got 3 rounds into it when I realize that neither Peg nor I cut the cards! Debi kept on with her winning streak this month. She has so many dimes now; they’re also in her chip container as “overflow”! But, we figured out her winning strategy…she pays attention while we’re all retarded! Now that we figured out the trick, maybe we should start being a little less retarded & pay a little more attention so we can all have 2 cups full of dimes! There was music playing quietly in the background all night. During the first cover all, “Eye of the Tiger” was playing. We found this very funny! Lori won the first cover all by herself! Nothing funny happened during the 2^nd cover all, but I won that one by myself. Most of us got our stuff together & headed out before 10. Phyllis hung out after to have some “alone time” with the hot tub after her long day of doing yard work.

MYSTERY BOX

It was Lori’s turn to bring a Mystery to the party. It was a very “manly” patriotic box. After 2 sudden death draws between Kate & I, the hostess luck was in Kate’s favor. She was the winner! Under the manly wrapping & Tootsie Rolls was a box chock full of patriotic goodies for Memorial Day. There was a ribbon, scarf, candles, window clings, a flag tumbler, flag & probably some other stuff I missed as I was trying to shovel food in my face, take notes & watch my card all at the same time! We won’t be doing the Mystery Box in June since we’re having our outing. But, Kate will be responsible for bringing the Box back to the Toga Party in July.

COME TO THE GARDENS OF LONGWOOD

We will be tip-toeing through the tulips on SATURDAY 6/23. Well, maybe that’s not such a good idea, we might get kicked out for that! We should probably just tip-toe past the tulips! Please get to Peg’s house by 12:30 so we can leave @ 1:00 to make sure we’re at the Gardens by 1:30 to meet up with Patt. Don’t forget, you’ll need $18 admission, plus cash for lunch & our usual monthly dues.

TOGA IN JULY

Once again, we will be having our annual toga party @ Spanky’s “animal” house. Get ready to “Shout!” on SATURDAY, 7/28. The pool will be open @ 4:00 (bring your bathing suit & towel). We would like to be at the table @ 5:00 if you don’t want to swim. I know its 2 months off, but don’t worry; you’ll get a reminder or two!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Isn't it Ironic? Phyllis told an entertaining anecdote earlier in the evening. She went to a Halloween Fest at a local convention center. Lots of people showed up for the day in various Halloween costumes and monster themes. Apparently, there was also a guns & ammo show going on at the same time! She saw zombies & guys in cammo w/ guns passing through the same common area on their way to their shows! Wouldn’t that make a great horror movie? 

Cold as Ice! Kate recently got a super cool (pun intended) ice maker recently. We were all using the ice in our beverages. Debi decided to eat one of her cubes when she noticed it got stuck to her tongue! So, in the future, if you’re chillin’ @ the Tiki Bar, be careful with the ice!

SHOUT OUTS!

Shout Out #1: First & foremost, we have 2 Pokeno Sisters celebrating birthdays in May. Marge missed out on getting to wear the crown, so I used a prop for her “official” b-day photo over there. And, Debi is “sexy @ 60”! Happy birthday to you both!

Shout Out #2: Thanks once again for your canned food donations for Jacob’s school/local food bank. I’ll let you know next time if his class wins anything for all your valiant efforts.

Shout Out #3: Lori’s church had its monthly thrift store. Kate & I both managed to get over to check it out. I was really impressed, there were lots of neat little things, everything was incredibly well priced & best of all, the people were really friendly. One of Lori’s friends even pushed Nathan around for a bit so I could have some time to browse! In case you’re interested in going to check out the bargains for yourself, the next one will be on June 9^th. Please contact Lori or me for details. And, speaking of Sister Giggles…

Shout Out #4: I saved the best for last! Before we started playing, Debi was talking to Lori about big news. My journalistic antenna went up & inquiring minds needed to know what this “big news” was. Lori said, “I don’t like bringing attention to myself”. No, please, do. That’s when Lori told me that she was 60+ days sober as of that night. This is wonderful news! I’m sure I speak on behalf of all the sisters in wishing Lori much praise & congratulations on this decision. You have our full support! Stay lazy, lady! (*that’s not an insult - she knows what that means)

THIS IS THE END

May was a very difficult month for some of my childhood heroes. At the beginning of the month, Adam “MCA” Yauch from the Beastie Boys died and a few days later, Maurice Sendak passed away. A week went by and then “Queen of Disco” Donna Summer and “First Brother of Disco” Robin Gibb also passed within a few days of each other. These people all had a huge part in my growing up & I’m very sad to see them go. Thankfully there's this new hologram technology, so a world tour reunion is still possible!

”Let us be grateful to people that make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom” – Proust.  Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

April 2012

We calmly settled into a game @ Patt’s house this month. It was a beautiful day! We took full advantage of the lovely spring-time weather by sitting outside. We briefly entertained the thought of playing outside because it was so nice. However, the windy wind kicked up & started knocking things over (see Exhibit A of the tent over there on the side). So, we played indoors and had a very nice time. It was mellow & relaxed. It seemed that a good time was had by all! We dined on ham, potatoes, pineapple puddings, macaroni salad & some other stuff that I can’t remember at this point. We finished it off with Spanky’s beautiful (and supposedly delicious) shamrock cake. I said “supposedly” because as I sat down to write this, I remembered that I forgot to have some…oh well!

Marge passed out personalized notepads/journals to everyone. Patt passed out a roll of dimes to the drivers of the carpools. Debi drove herself…Auntie PennyJuggs certainly did NOT need any extra dimes! She won so much during the day adding to all the winnings from February (and before) that her cup runneth over into her coffee cup & my chip cup! Anything that landed on my side was “finder’s keepers”! Patt also had a bottle of wine that she raffled off to the sister that picked the lowest card. Phyllis was the winner! The bottle of wine was called “Drama Queen”! Patt suggested that the wine be carried around from game to game & offered to the sister that needs it most. But, Phyllis thought it would be better suited to going into her wine glass the next day! Not only that; but the last thing the Pokeno bag needs is one more thing to be carried in it. I passed out eggs full of candy & dimes. I also had a bunch of stuff that I gave away to the first group of center winners. We only played one cover all (either that or I didn’t note anything after the 1^st one) that Patt won all by herself!

MYSTERY BOX

Phyllis was responsible for the April Box. The box was recycled from her new TV; wrapped in paper she had around the house that was hand-stamped with her WTF stamp from Christmas & glittery shamrocks. We choose our cards. When we flipped them over, Lori was the big winner. She seems to have very good luck winning mysteries @ Patt’s house! Inside the lovely box was an even more lovely springtime floral wreath & door hanger. Lori decided the wreath was SO pretty, she was going to hang it on the inside of her door so she could see it all the time – instead of just when she’s coming & going!

TO THE TIKI BAR!

In what was quite possibly the easiest party planning of the year (so far), we all decided that we would have our May game @ Kate’s house on SATURDAY, 5/12. The bar & hot tub will be open @ 4:00 if you’d like to come early & relax before game time. Remember to bring your bathing suit & towel if you’re taking a dip! We will be getting down to business at 5:00. We also decided to make this easy on everyone food wise. Kate will pass around a menu from a local restaurant where we will choose our own main course to be delivered! Lori is making dessert & I’ll provide pepperoni/cheese & cracker snackers. This party will have a luau/tiki theme…hmm…I can’t imagine why…

TEA PARTY @ THE GARDENS

While having one of my weekly coffee breaks w/ Peg, she mentioned how it would be nice if we could get together as a group & do something other than play cards. I also thought this was a super swell idea, but what could we do that everyone would agree on? I was secretly dreading this idea because when we had our other Pokeno group back in the day, trying to plan an outing was about as easy as getting a root canal without anesthesia while the drunken dentist was using rusty tools.  I thought about it for a bit & came up with…drum roll please…Longwood Gardens! We took a vote during the April party & figured out the best thing to do would be to skip our annual birthday tea party this year & say “happy b-day to me” with a spot of tea in a different setting.

Most of us will be meeting @ Peg’s house to carpool in her awesome new ride (just happens to fit 8). Since Patt is already in PA, she’ll meet us at the Gardens. At some point during the day, we will go somewhere for lunch. You will need $18 for admission, plus cash for lunch. We’ll still be collecting our usual monthly dues, so don’t forget that too. We will be leaving Peg’s on SATURDAY 6/23 @ 1:00 in order to be at the Gardens by 1:30 to meet Patt. You should plan on getting to Peg’s no later than 12:30 so there’s enough time to get everything/everyone together & get the car packed for our ride.

RANDOM FUNNIES

For some reason this month, Phyllis was extra entertaining. Here are just a few choice cuts from the day:

What Goes In There? It was Spanky’s turn to ante up. She got 5 outta 6 pots into it when we realized she was putting chips in instead of dimes! We all chuckled as she took her chips out & replaced them with dimes.

Dueling Banjos! Not quite sure what prompted her homage to “Deliverance”, but at some point during our game, Phyllis busted out her rhythmic mouth version of “Dueling Banjos”. It was quite entertaining.

How to Properly Test a Bed! Spanky & Mark broke down after many years and got a new mattress. While they were in the store, they had to be sure it was “firm for the humpage”! So, they laid on the beds to jump up & down (horizontally) to ensure proper support. I can only imagine the look on the salesperson’s face…priceless!

THIS IS THE END

Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

February 2012

Sorry it took so long to get around to doing the blog this month. By the time this gets published, it’ll be a whole month after our February game! Unfortunately, these things don’t write themselves & I had to find time to sit down, decipher my notes & compile my thoughts. So, gather up a beverage and/or snack and get cozy. Maybe do a few blinking exercises to get your eyes ready to read all the news that’s fit to print cuz here we go…

Everyone got comfy & went to Spanky’s house to celebrate some Pokeno love. Lori wore nerdy Spongebob pants paired w/ her hat & shirt from the November Mystery Box; Peg wore a black smoking jacket; I started out wearing my kimono, but after noticing the sleeves were knocking chips all over the place, I changed back into my jersey! Everyone was there by 5:30-6:00, but we didn’t start playing until 7:00 after business needed to be done & we had MUCH debate on the March party. After all that, we wound up having to postpone the game until April anyway! More on that in a minute... We dined on a variety of comfort foods: an incredibly delicious macaroni & cheese, crab soup, fruit w/ stove-top chocolate fondue, assorted snacks & cherry brownie bars. We also had a TON (approximate weight) of various chocolates. This led to way too much cacao consumption, which led to 8 hopped up ladies at the table. It got quite noisy & crazy there for a little bit. Then everyone started to crash from their sugar rush & half of the table left. We called the first cover all at 9:30 & the 2^nd about an hour later. The first cover all was an 8 way split! This is a new Pokeno record as it has NEVER happened in any of the previous Pokeno groups! Debi won the 2^nd cover all by herself. After the first group of ladies left, Debi was first to call. We were sitting there relaxing when Debi wondered out loud, “So, who’s calling?” Turns out, it was supposed to be Debi!

As usual, Phyllis did her “Thief of Hearts” game with the conversation hearts. Only, there was a twist this year. You could steal whenever you won center. This way, it was guaranteed only one person was going to win so there wouldn’t be any sudden death issues like last year. One of the hearts said “Flaming Hot Pants”. Kate swore it said “Flaming Hot Penis”! Spanky was on a roll winning centers all night. But, since she was exempt (it was her game) at the end of the night, I thieved the most hearts & won a lovely mini flower arrangement!

MYSTERY BOXES

Peg-a-la was the Mystery giver this month. For the 2^nd year in a row, Phyllis was the recipient. She was the first person to pick a card & she shrieked with delight. We debated whether the rest of us should even bother picking, but a tie is always a possibility. Well, nobody even came close to Phyllis’ ace! Not only did our hostess get the Mystery, but she got to call first too! Bonus! Peg had a poem/speech prepared which she read along with the box opening. So, Phyllis opened the first box, then there was another box, and another box, and another box, and another box, and another box, all work & no play makes Jack a dull boy, and another box, when Phyllis finally got to the center of the Tootsie Pop. Inside the last box was a heart with the word “love” on it. There was also a small box on the side (good gravy, not another box!!!) However, this one was the only one & it contained a roll of dimes! Spanky will be responsible for the next Mystery. I wonder if the hostess luck will continue. I guess we’ll have to wait a few more weeks to see…suspense!

WELCOME SPRING!

After some unforeseen scheduling conflicts, we will not be seeing each other during the month of March. We will gather together once more in April. Ease on down the turnpike to Patt’s house on SATURDAY, 4/14 @ 2:00. As of this printing we’re sticking w/ the “Irish” menu we planned for March. That would be ham, pineapple pudding, baby red potatoes, soda bread, macaroni salad, Irish potatoes & dessert. Please bring your favorite dish to be shared & enjoyed by one & all!

PUBLIC NOTICE!

Debi had the following consumer information to share with the group: At the January party, there was silver plastic ware set out for everyone to use. When Debi was cleaning up, she accidentally ran a few pieces of plastic through the dishwasher. Much to her shock & surprise, the silver was completely gone & the plastic was now clear! Now, if it comes off in the dishwasher, there’s a good chance the paint is coming off in your mouth/stomach as you’re using the utensils. Maybe we should steer clear of the silver plastics in the future. Thanks for the tip, Debi!

RANDOM FUNNIES

How Many? Early in the evening, Kate was watching her card diligently. That’s when she shouted out, “I got five!” For those of you who don’t speak Kate-ese, that meant she had a flush! After she properly called her flush she was allowed to take the pot.

Pass the Tissues & the Air Freshener! During Spanky’s call, she started sneezing. A sneeze or two turned into a full-blown sneezing attack. Seriously, at least a good 10 minutes here! She just couldn’t stop! She sneezed so hard she broke the tables! Then (even worse) she sneezed so hard she farted!!! Let’s hope she doesn’t make a habit of this, otherwise we might have to make a rule that she can’t call in the future…just kidding! That would be torture for all of us!

THIS IS THE END

Before I go, I’d like to share a final thought or two. I’ve noticed over the last few months (the exception being January), there’s been some kind of drama at every game. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have enough drama in my life & certainly don’t want any extra especially when I’m supposed to be having fun with my friends. I think everyone had a good time at the January party. It was relaxed, nobody freaked out & nobody got stupid. It was a good evening indeed! The whole point of going to all the trouble of planning/hosting a party is for everyone to get together & have a good time. All the other nonsense needs to stop…seriously. For a change, I’d like to go to a party & come home in a good mood. Some months, I'm completely (mentally) exhausted after. I'm sure some of you have felt the same. Everyone's so excited to get to the party in the days before, then we finally get together & by the end of the night, it gets messed up along the way. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for everyone to check the drama at the door & keep yourself in check during the evening for the good of the group. You may not know it at the time; but your mood and/or actions during the evening affect all of us. Not to mention the person who went to all the trouble to host the party that month! Don’t get me wrong, I know things can come up that might put you in a funk & maybe you need to get it off your chest with your friends. That’s fine; we’re here to help/listen/vent to. But, get it out & get on with it, please. I enjoy our group & I enjoy our games – most of the time. I'm gonna guess at least some of you agree. Pokeno should be a good time had by all (in moderation), not a miserable experience that makes any one of us wonder what we’re doing at the table. Going forward, can we try to make sure we all have fun, please? Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

January 2012

Happy New Year! We wound up celebrating a week later than we originally planned, but that’s what happens when people start dropping out like flies. There were lame excuses like having to go to a funeral/baby shower/banquet/emergency room instead. People & their “priorities”! Sheesh! By Saturday morning, we woke up to a layer of snow & ice, and were down to only 3 players w/ one coming late. That’s no way to have a party! So, we made an executive decision to postpone until the following week. Those who couldn’t make it the week before were thrilled to have a second chance to party. This party was noted to be “mellow” & drama-free. What a nice, relaxing way to start 2012! We dined on ham & cheese sandwiches, crab dip, pigs in blankets, pepperoni rolls, cheesecake, candy & a chocolate chip cheese ball.

It was a new year, so I dug out some new cards. Everyone really liked them as they’re large & easy to read. When Peg started to call; she realized the cards were in order. We decided that wasn’t a very good idea, so we passed the cards around the table for everyone to take turns shuffling them. Phyllis just happened to be cleaning her house the other day when she noticed an electric card shuffling machine! She remembered that someone (Debi) donated it & thought she’d bring it back to decide what to do with it. I distinctly remember when Debi first introduced this device, we took one look at the directions, decided it was too difficult at the time, put it back in the box & that’s where it stayed for the past year! This time around, Debi took it out of the box, turned it on & figured out how to use it within a minute! This was helpful as she mixed the cards up real good! We managed to get 2 rounds done this month. Patt & Peg won the first cover all & hostess luck paid off for Debi who won the final one all by herself! We wrapped up our night @ 10. As a side note, Patt & Debi were going to use their winnings to take to the beach the following weekend. Patt told me when she cashed in her dimes, she got $36 from us!

MYSTERY BOX

I was responsible for ringing in 2012 with the very first Mystery. Peg was the winner! Since it was the New Year & all that, there was a “time” theme to it. Inside the box was: a chalkboard paper doodle calendar, recipe calendar, owl clip-on watch, peacock clock, journal & pen, mini note book, 12 dimes & memory box. It’s funny that last year, Peg also won the January Mystery & someone told her to make it a “naughty & nice” theme. She ran away with that & Phyllis was the winner. I wonder if history will repeat itself in 2012. I guess we’ll just have to wait & see!

LOVIN’ IN THE WINTERTIME

As usual, our February party will have a Valentine’s/Love theme. We will be lovin’ it up @ Phyllis’ house on SATURDAY 2/25. Please get there between 5 & 6. This is a comfy party, so come in your comfiest outfit or PJ’s & bring a dish of your favorite comfort food to share. So far, we will be dining on macaroni & cheese, chicken pot pie & chocolate cherry bars.

SHOUT OUT

Happy, happy birthday to Patt! She turned the big six-oh earlier this month. She's not really 60, she's just 18 with 42 years experience! Since she loves to drive the long & winding roads in our area, her husband thought it would be really cool to give her a race car driving experience at a local racetrack! How awesome is that? This is the perfect opportunity to say, “I can’t drive 55” & not get in trouble for it!

RANDOM FUNNIES

The what? While Debi was calling, she meant to say, “6 of spades”. What actually came out was “sick of spades”! She had seen so many spades, she was sick of them! We all got a good chuckle out of this one!

Card Trouble! A few hands later, it was Patt’s turn to call. Remember earlier when I told you about the new cards? Well, that’s when Patt got confused. The cards only go one way & Patt had to be sure the card wasn’t upside down before she told us what it was! I had to keep a good eye on her to see if what she was calling was actually the right thing!

FRIENDLY REMINDER

Reminder #1 - Thanks to those of you who have been collecting stuff for my kids’ school. His class is well on their way to a pizza party! Please continue to help out his school by collecting Box Tops & Labels for Education. I’ve included a handy-dandy visual aid over there on the side so you can tell the difference between the two. Here’s a break-down of what you can find where.

You can find Box Tops on these products: Betty Crocker, Juicy Juice, General Mills Cereals, Green Giant, Pillsbury, Totino’s, Hamburger Helper, Old El Paso, Progressive, Land O’ Lakes, Yoplait yogurts, Bugles, Chex/Cheerios Mix, Fiber One, Fruit Roll Ups, Nature Valley Granola, Hanes, Avery Office Supplies, Ziploc, Cottonelle, Scott, Kleenex, Viva, Hefty & Brita.

You can find Labels here: Campbells, Pepperidge Farms, Post Cereals, V8, Swanson, Dannon, Glad, Prego, Emerald Nuts, Pop Secret, BIC.

Please help some kids by helping your fellow Pokeno sisters! Thank you for your continued assistance.

THIS IS THE END

A wise man once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop & look around once in a while, you could miss it!” In 2012, why not make a simple resolution (that you might actually keep)? Stop every so often to take a breath and to see what’s going on around you. Try to catch the beauty in the little things. You might just notice something you didn’t see before. Or, you could always just say, “fuck it” & take a nap instead! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

December 2011

Everyone gets lei’d @ the Tiki Bar – even on Christmas! But more about that in the next section… A good time was had by most. We dined on not 1, not 2, but 3 – yes, count ‘em – 3 different kinds of lasagna (cheese, beef, beef & sausage); a tasty pitcher of beverages; salad bar; loaf of Italian bread; fruit & veggie trays; cookies; snacks; a “yellow snow” snowman & cupcakes. Debi noted that she was brave enough to eat the “yellow snow” (after samurai Spanky hacked him into bite-sized pieces), and it tasted “delicious”!

Phyllis won the 1^st cover all by herself! Then, she split it w/ Marge on the final cover all of the night. After approximately 15 years, the butter dish that Marge kept her chips in was cracked so badly that the chips were ready to fall out into the official Pokeno tote bag. I just happened to have a lovely (durable) tea tin in my basement that was looking for good use; Marge’s chips were looking for a good home. It was perfect! At first she was skeptical, but after she hit a few pots, she thought it was turning out to be lucky instead. Also having a lucky streak was Peg. During one round, it was noted that she won 4 out of 6 pots! Two of those pots were a fat 4 corners & postage.

Present re-cap! Apparently, we were a bunch of good girls this year, because we all got some really great stuff! As is Pokeno tradition, we took a break from the festivities after 1^st cover all to pass out gifts. We do it this way to ensure that people don’t just come to get their goodies & leave. You’re forced to endure our “torture” for a little while before getting your big pay off! Bribery!!! Since Kate was the hostess, she started passing out gifts first. She had Phyllis this year. Her gift was for “work & play” – a set of nesting doll measuring cups & a WTF stamp. The stamp was passed around the table like a dirty whore & each of us (some more than others) used it on our cards. Phyllis had Debi. Inside her bag was an enormous bottle of wine & “ooh la la” card w/ rechargeable batteries. Debi had Marge. She got perfume, candles, Christmas socks, a Christmas decoration & $5. Marge had Kate. She got a box full of hand-crafted stuff. Three “cookie” ornaments & a hand-tied ribbon wreath. Marge said Kate was lucky that she was her secret Santa, because if Kate had one of the less crafty girls, she’d be screwed! Patt had Lori. She got a joy/peace/love dark chocolate bar & Yankee Candle w/ snowman decoration. Lori had Patt. She got a Christmas cookie scented candle & a Santa tin full of goodies. Then it was down to Peg & I who had each other for the 2^nd year in a row! I gave Peg a candle & sparkly purple clutch filled w/ Victoria’s Secret Love Spell stuff. Peg gave me a candy-wrapped bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee, 2 bottles of Bath & Body Works lotion, and some delicious peppermint bark. Everyone was pleased with their gifts! Thanks again to everyone for your patience, participation & being such good “Santas”.

MYSTERY BOX

Lori was in charge of the holiday Mystery. I think we may be onto something here…for the 2^nd time in a row when Lori was the presenter, I was the winner! See, I don’t win for almost 2 years straight & now I win ‘em back to back! Anyway, this was an interesting Mystery. First up was a bag. Inside was a Foxy photo that Lori put together using past Christmas photos, all of our names & a nice little saying, plus a Christmas cat salt & pepper shaker set. Then I moved onto the box. When I opened the box, I felt like Santa! Inside was a bunch of gifts for each of the ladies! There were leis for all, plus assorted goodies bags filled w/ candles, key chains, knick knacks, lighters, candy, dimes & probably some other stuff I didn’t note. It looks like I’ll be responsible for the first Mystery of the year!

RING IN 2012

We will be partying like it’s 2012 at Chateau Debi on SATURDAY, 1/21. Please arrive anytime after 5:00. This will be our “appetizer fest”, so plan your favorite dish accordingly. Debi will provide ham & cheese sammies, Phyllis is bringing pot stickers & pizzelles, Lori will bring pepperoni, cheese & crackers, I’ll be putting a twist on the traditional cheese ball by making a sweet version with chocolate chips! Bring your noisemakers & party hats and get ready to ring in the New Year with some of your favorite females!

RANDOM FUNNIES

A dancing what??? Kate’s dog Charlie was trying to get out of the basement through the pet door, but he was having a bit of trouble. Patt was seated at the end of the table closest to the steps when she heard Charlie making a ruckus. She looked over & started cracking up. That’s when she said, “Look! It’s a dancing butt hole”! Yes, in fact it did look just like that! We had a good chuckle & Charlie eventually made it through the door…butt hole & all!

Snapple Fact #685 – Continuing with the dog jokes…thanks to Lori for this cap. Did you know that dogs can only make about 10 sounds, while cats can make about 100?

TV Trivia! For our listening enjoyment, Kate had the Christmas Carol channel on her big screen. For those of us facing the TV, we could see the trivia factoids scrolling across the bottom. Here are some facts that I had time to crane my neck (I was not facing the TV) & jot down real quick: 1 - Poinsettia translates to “flower of the night”. 2 – J. Edgar Hoover was born on New Year’s Day. 3 – In Poland, they get/give gifts twice in December! 4 – In France, they leave shoes in front of the fireplace for Père Noël to fill with goodies (hopefully they use new shoes & not stinky old ones!) And now, with your new-found knowledge, you’re all set for “Final Jeopardy”! When you get there, be sure to tell Alex Trebek he looked better with the moustache!

SHOUT OUT

I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate Grandma Debi on the birth of her first grandson. Loghan James was born to Debi’s youngest daughter in Florida a few weeks ago. The proud grandma was there for his arrival. He came in at 21 inches long & 8 ½ pounds. Mom & baby are doing well. Well enough in fact to drive all the way up here from FL a week later for Debi to host a christening! Good thing our party was the night before, Debi just took all the leftovers with her for the next day!

THIS IS THE END

Once again, here we are at the end of another year. We’ve had 11 parties & I’ve sat down 11 times to remind you what happened. Here’s my last one of 2011. I raise an imaginary toast to all of you & wish my sisters health, happiness & lots of dimes in 2012! Until next year, may the foxiest bitch win!