December 2012 - Happy Holidays Edition

We played our very first game @ Marge’s new place. Everyone thought it was lovely & had a good time. There were goodies aplenty! We dined on all the traditional holiday fixin’s of turkey, stuffing, twice baked potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, salad bar, rolls, cranberries, other various condiments, with cookies & brownies for dessert! Just go back &read that sentence again…we really do know how to eat well! We all left very full (obviously) of not only great food, but holiday cheer & merriment! Thanks again to Marge for such a lovely evening!

There were other goodies too…Marge not only passed out bagel wreath ornaments, but she also cross-stitched a holiday cardinal that says “Welcome to our home”. She gave it to the person that picked the lowest card. That lucky sista was Spanky! She picked a 2. Can’t beat that one!  I made card-themed balls for everyone & cold preparedness kits (tea, lozenges, tissues & nasal spray coupons); Phyllis handed out decorative holiday signs; and Patt had cookies to share with the group. A notable Christmas miracle was when Kate passed her call so Phyllis could call sooner! Wow! They say sometimes friendship is the greatest gift of all…tear…

Maybe the good karma came back to Kate when she won the first cover all of the night all by herself. She also won a really fat 4 corners! The bra bag increased to approximately a C-cup! Lori was noted to win a lot of centers throughout the night. At the end of the evening, Debi won the final cover all by herself.

MYSTERY BOXES

I just realized it was a strange co-inky-dink that this time last year, I won the holiday box & this year, I was the one giving it away! The lucky winner of the December mystery was Peg! In one box was a microwave s’mores maker (pour water into reservoir & steam will make the chocolate/marshmallow nice & gooey). In box #2 was everything you need to make the s’mores happen! Chocolate bars (milk & dark); graham crackers; marshmallows & some hot chocolate to wash them down. This is gonna be a perfect thing for Peg when it gets a bit chillier. Brew up some cocoa, melt up some snacks & get cozy by the fire! Aww yea! I say…s’mores party @ Peg’s house…who’s with me?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It looks like Patt won’t be able to travel much in January. So, why not bring the party to her house! Gather up your carpool & head over on SATURDAY, 1/26, 2013 @ 4:00. Please come in your comfiest clothes & bring some cash to order food. Phyllis will be providing dessert, so you’re guaranteed it’s gonna be delicious! After all the hustle & bustle of the holidays, let’s ring in 2013 lazily!

NAUGHTY OR NICE?

That was a trick question…we were all VERY good this year of course! Here’s who got what: Since Marge was hostess w/ the mostess, she got to give out her gift first. She had Patt. You’d think this would be easy as she knows Patt pretty well & all that. But! Patt was incredibly specific on her choice of gifts. She wanted some Motown CD that’s only available @ Wegmans! Marge frantically tried to find it locally & got a different one. As she starts to tell the story of trying to find this gift, Patt tells her that Bob has sent a package along. He knew exactly what CD it was, went to store, got it, wrapped it & totally helped Marge out!  Patt wound up w/ 3 CD’s worth of travelling music! Patt’s gift went to me! I got a gift card; sm bottle of vodka & coffee. Only problem w/ the coffee was that it’s decaf. She picked up the wrong bag by mistake! Anyone who knows me knows I think decaf is for pussies! She promised to fix it for me & have new coffee next time! I had Kate this year. Inside the polka dot extravaganza was a bottle of gingerbread syrup (for coffee or cocktails); Space Invader drink markers; tiki head can/bottle cozies; a tiki decal; beachy votive candles; and gingerbread tin full of cookies. Kate had Peg. She swore her gift was in a Santa bag! We looked & looked and just couldn’t find Santa. We did find a snowman…oh yea! That’s what she meant! After all that, inside the snowman bag was a bag of chocolate donut coffee& bling ring coffee mug! Peg was up next to give her gift to Phyllis. It was a Visa card to pamper herself however she sees fit! Phyllis had Marge. Inside the lovely bag was a nativity ornament (went right on the tree) & pot for her new kitchen! Looks like it’s down to Debi & Lori. Lori’s gift to Debi was a bottle of pinot grigio & dark chocolate. Debi also gave Lori dark chocolate along with coffee pot; coffee & filters.

PSA – POKENO SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

It came to my attention during the game @ Marge’s house that you ladies go through a LOT of water during our meetings. So, I’d like to let you know that in the future, if you’re going to be a hostess, you should always have bottled water on hand. Either that or someone should be a designated water bringer that month as part of food/beverages. The more you know…

HO! HO! HO

Dashing through the snow

to Marge's house we go

with lots of gifts in tow

for everyone we know

It's time of year again

to fa-la-la with friends

don't laugh too hard

or you might need Depends

Gather round the table

maybe you'll be able

to win a bunch of dimes

many, many times

When the night is through

we will say "adieu" (to you & you & you)

see y'all in twenty thirteen

with love from the Queen (of hearts)

Until next year, may the foxiest bitch win!

October 2012 - Día de Brujas Edition

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve gotten around to this, but it has just been crazy the last few weeks! Good thing we decided to skip the November game because I’m pretty sure we would’ve had to do that anyway! Hurricane Sandy ripped through our area & it was quite devastating for some. North Jersey & NYC were hit hard with hundreds of thousands still without power (as of this writing); flooded subways; complete city blocks gone; and rides in Seaside Heights that wound up in the middle of the ocean! Pioneer Kate had to go without power for a week! Peg was out a few days. Patt lost some trees on her property. Halloween was postponed which made our kids not so happy. But now, it’s back to business!

Our party this year was wonderful. Coming to the join in the “Monster Mash” we had Phyllis as a ladybug. She made a few attempts at being a “lady” during the night, but it was really hard to take her seriously with the extra arms & deelie-bobber antenna on her head! Kate was a sugar skull/day of the dead lady (fantastic makeup BTW); Marge was a zombie gypsy; I was a 50’s sock hopper; Debi & Patt came as a gardener & a bag of leaves; Peg was a sexy kitty; Lori was a bride. She included all of us in her bridal party as bridesmaids & gave us each a ring pop! Another feature of her costume was the toy chapel that played the “Wedding March”. She played it on her way into the party & later in the evening, someone pushed the button. That was a bad idea! The stupid thing wouldn’t shut off! We had to make sure not touch it again! Of course there were lots of good things to eat! This time we dined on various Mexican dishes. There was a taco bar; quesadillas; Mexican wedding cookies; fruit salad; cornbread; oozing brain cupcakes; jalapeno dip; queso w/ tortilla chips & margaritas to drink.

To keep the party festive, Phyllis had the Halloween station on her TV playing various songs all night. Two songs in particular really stood out. The first one was the Elvira song – you might remember this one. In case you don’t, here’s how it goes…start making a noise in your throat, then use your finger to wiggle your Adam’s apple while making noise. You have just sung the song! It was really bad! The other song was the “12 Days of Halloween”. I don’t remember any of it other than “an owl in a dead tree – HOOT HOOT!” This song was so catchy, that we all started to join in with the hooting. It was a real hoot…heh, heh…get it? While on the flying animal theme here & also in an attempt to distract you from that awful corny joke, let me tell you about the bat game!

Everyone was presented with a plastic bat at the start of the game. Spanky informed us that the sister with the most bats at the end of the night would win a prize! My half of the table (West Side) lost all our bats very early on. The other half (East Side) had a bat monopoly. It was so bad, that someone was looking to steal a bat when we told them the bats were all at that end of the table. The winner of the game was…birthday girl Peg! In the end, she wound up “battiest sister” with 3 in her pile. Inside the prize bag was a black cat candleholder & tea lights. It was kitty karma since Peg wore a cat costume! We called the first cover all around 8:45. After winning a butt load of centers all night (how much is in a butt load – I’m not exactly sure, but it was a lot!) Lori also won the cover all by herself! She took her winnings & left with Peg while the 6 of us played on until 10 when I won the 2^nd cover all by myself! Birthday luck for me too! Before we left, our “lady-like” hostess gave us all goodie bags full of cookies, pretzels & fudge. Plus trick or treat signs!

MYSTERY BAG

Debi was responsible for the spook-tacular Mystery this time around. We pulled cards & everyone was complaining about what they picked. I picked a 9 & thought for sure I was out. Well, it turned out everyone had low cards & my 9 actually won! Inside the bag was a black cat pail with electric tea lights; haunted house placemat; pumpkin-shaped chocolate pop; aluminum wallet; Wawa gift card & shared dimes from the pile she got from Peg in September’s Mystery!

UPCOMING PARTY NEWS

We attempted to schedule a November get-together, but it turned out everyone was booked solid most weekends. Since we couldn’t all agree on a date, we made the decision to skip November all together & move right on to our December party.

While we were planning Nov/Dec, Debi offered up her house for January to ring in 2013, so be sure to look for more info on that party in the Holiday Edition of the Rag. Speaking of holidays…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

This year, we will be having our Christmas party at a brand new spot! Now that Marge is all settled in at her new place, she offered to host the party there. Grab your gifts, give your reindeer some magic dust, hop on your sleigh and fly it over to Marge’s on SATURDAY, 12/1 @ 4:00. If you need directions, please let me know. As the party gets closer, I will e-mail you further instructions for parking & building entry. We will be having a traditional holiday feast of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, salad, cranberry sauce & condiments. With brownies & cookies for dessert!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

In October, Peg & I both celebrated birthdays. One of us celebrated a milestone! That would be our dear Sister Shiatsu who turned the big 6-0 this year! She celebrated by spending a week with her sister who came up from FL to visit as a b-day surprise. They did all kinds of fun stuff like sight see, relax & go out for dinner! She spent the following week in FL with her brother & dad doing even more fun stuff! Who says a birthday should be celebrated for just one day! Heck – when you’ve survived 60 years, you deserve at least a whole month to party! Whoop! Whoop!

Also, since we won't be playing in November, please let me mention that Spanky will be celebrating her birthday. Happy birthday lady!

FINAL THOUGHT

I’m looking forward to spending another holiday with my Sisters! Good thing Santa doesn’t mind us being naughty, or it would be coal all around! Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

PS - For anyone who happens to stumble across this little piece of the internet & wants to know how the game is actually played, please go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pokeno_game. There are many variations on how to play. We've been playing in one form or another for the last 15 years & this blog is about the wacky things that go on during our games & in our lives. It's not supposed to be a "how-to" guide.

September 2012 - Welcome Fall Edition

Aloha summer, aloha fall! Do they even have fall in Hawaii??? Hmm…I don’t think so. Just sunshine, hanging 5 on gnarly waves , Danno booking bad guys & rivers of liquid hot magma spewing forth from the volcanoes. Anyway…we certainly do have autumn here on the East Coast where we celebrated the start of autumn in PA. It was a very lovely day. Just right temperature, sunshine, blue skies, etc. Then, as we pulled outta the driveway, it started to rain. It rained & rained & rained some more. In fact, it rained the entire way back to Spanky’s house!

Everyone had a really good time this month! It was very relaxed. Doesn’t everyone love a relaxing party?  Since Patt’s son ventured out into the big world after flying from the nest at the F’in-A homestead, we had a new spot to play! The room was decorated with a bunch of fall leaves (keeping with the theme) and a welcome sign. We dined on 2 different kinds of baked ziti; assorted snacks (anyone who wasn’t before is now addicted to Nutella thanks to Cosmo); salad bar & brownie sundaes.

We started somewhere around 5 & wrapped it up about 9-ish. It was noted that Marge was very lucky this evening. She hit many a flush & 2 fat four corners. The first cover all was a 3-way split between Patt & 2 other people that I didn’t note (sorry, but you know who you are). I’m pretty sure that I won the last cover all of the night by myself. I was medicated after having surgery the week before, so some parts of the night are blurry. I should apologize for that right now. There’s a line in my notes that says, “naughty CAT, be nice – no CAN”. Do any of you remember what that’s about? I have NO idea WTF that’s supposed to mean & it’s in my handwriting! Something not in my handwriting was Kate wanting me to mention how something really gross/sticky was on the table & I put my finger in it twice! I do remember that & it was in fact disgusting.

There were all kinds of good goodies this month! I had goodies from StriVectin (face treatments) & Glade (coupons). I also provided Patt w/ a hostess gift that foreshadowed the evening’s events…more on that down in the “Random Funny” section. Lori passed out glow bracelets & magical glow wands! Patt went on a cleaning spree & found some stuff to give away in the pots. Lori won 2 things (bottle opener & tye dye kit). Marge won a dream catcher. Our parting gifts were autumnal candles & Halloween tattoos.

And now, a public service announcement. Once again, Peg & Phyllis wound up sitting next to each other. I’m pretty sure we had a rule in place about this. But somehow, it continues to happen. Can we please see in the future that if they look like they might be next to each other; move your seat to help keep them separated. Thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter. It’s really for the good of the group!

MYSTERY ???

It was literally a question mark this month! No box, no bag, just some MacGyver-like skills. Peg-a-la was responsible for the September Mystery. Debi was the winner! Inside the oddly shaped package contained a very fancy pen; a peppermint (the dot on the bottom of the mark) & half of last month’s cover all winnings. Good things really do come in small packages sometimes!

HALLOWEEN-O

Calling all ghouls, goblins & creatures of the night! It’s time once again to do the “Monster Mash” @ Spanky’s house! We will be putting on our finest costumes SATURDAY, 10/27 @ 5:00. Phyllis mentioned she’s going to use the dimes she’s been collecting off her floor from last few parties to provide a taco bar. This started the whole “Mexican” Halloween theme. We will also be having jalapeño dip, quesadillas, margaritas, turtle brownies, tortilla chips/salsa, cupcakes & a surprise dessert (from Lori). Ole!

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

I am very pleased to report that Marge has officially moved into her new apartment! It’s a really cute little place w/ a lovely view! Since she hasn’t had the opportunity to host lately, she offered to do our holiday party @ her place in December. Since she’s in a “community” now, we’ll have to remember to be on our most lady-like behavior when the time comes! Speaking of time… Marge doesn’t have a clock yet.  But, Kate was nice enough to offer her alarm clock for the evening to be sure we all know what time it is! We need to know what time to stuff ourselves, what time to open presents & what time to wrap it up for the night before us young whippersnappers are caught in the building past curfew!

Marge was telling us about her new digs when she mentioned that they have bingo (duh) & Pokeno games! I told her she’s playing unofficial “scab” Pokeno. Marge then went on to tell us that it was different because it’s only 2 cents per pot & there are different pots. She assured us that OUR Pokeno was way more fun than the other one! That still didn't stop the ladies from busting her balls all night.

RANDOM FUNNIES

You weren’t supposed to do that! Marge won Four Corners & a prize. Patt, Phyllis & Peg (the 3 P’s) were so distracted that they cleared their cards! We quickly re-called only for someone to hit within the following 2-3 cards! Don’t forget – you’re only supposed to clear your card after Pokeno has been called, unless it’s the cover all when you clear it at the very end! Wow! 2 PSA’s in the same edition! I’m on a roll – not a Kaiser or Club roll Lori…

Fancy shuffling fail! Apparently my lack of shuffling ability was inherited from my Aunt! Patt admitted she’s a crappy suffler & thought she’d try her hand (ha, ha) @ some “fancy shuffling”! Wanna guess what happens next? Yup…she threw the cards all over the place. As she set about with the recount, she invited the rest of us to count along. Patt also dubbed herself “the new ree-ree” taking the title from Kate…for now…

Code Brown! There was a joke made earlier in the evening about Spanky’s funky farting fanny.  Wouldn’t you know it, shortly before the last cover all, we thought we heard thunder. Turns out that “thunder” was actually Phyllis busting ass! Kate & I ran downstairs and waited for the rest of the ladies to join us. They didn’t. Then we heard the hysterical giggling. The other ladies were obviously hysterical from the noxious fumes! Phyllis said it was “all noise”. I was glad that I gifted Patt a bag full of room spray & diffuser oil. It really came in handy to make it possible to finish the night.

FINAL THOUGHT

See the leaves on the trees turn shades of red, orange, gold & brown. Feel the chill as summer breezes blow colder through town. Enjoy the last warm days of fall until winter comes to call. Sip some cider & carve a pumpkin.  And, until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

August 2012 - Aloha Summer Edition

Its summer time, it feels just right. Gonna gather all my friends and we'll party through the night… We hung out this month @ the Tiki Bar where all the ladies got lei’d! It was too hot for the hot tub so those of us who got there early hung out around the bar instead. We dined on chicken parm; pot stickers; cheese; grapes; assorted snacks; strawberry cake & fruit pudding(?) When Marge went to taste hers (she didn’t see Patt almost spit her bite back out) she made a face that was SO bad, someone told her to “put your face back”! She really looked like she was gonna hurl for a second there!

After everyone showed up & we got down to business, it was 6:30. We wrapped it up somewhere around 10. The first cover all was split between Kate & Marge. The hostess luck was certainly w/ Kate this month! Not sure if someone else started it, or if she actually dubbed herself “Pokeno Kate – Fastest Dimes in the East!” She was winning so much during the night – we weren’t sure if it was really “hostess luck” or if it had something to do with Charlie sitting on her lap during the first round! Peg cleaned up the second cover all by herself. Not only did Peg get the final cover all, but earlier in the evening…

MYSTERY BOX/BAG

Since I was the winner at the Toga Party, it was my responsibility to hook up the next Sister this time around. Peg was the winner! It’s funny because if you remember last month, Peg & I had a sudden death re-pick! Inside the box was a purse chock full of everything you could possibly need to just grab it & go! There was a change purse; lip gloss; mints; pen & paper; perfume; tissues; nail kit; lip balm; lotion; hand sanitizer; mini lint roller; eye drops; lens cloth; Febreze (for your car); mini phone/address book; mirror; lighter; band-aids; reusable fold-up shopping bag & drink mix packet.

SEPTEMBER POKENO

Round up your car pools now! We’re heading over to Patt’s house for our September party. We will be meeting on SATURDAY, 9/22 @ 3:00. So far, I can guarantee cookie dough brownies. There will be more menu updates as they become available...

SHOUT OUTS!

This month we send a big shout out to our August birthday girls Kate & Lori. Kate was at the beginning of the month & Lori was near the end. Happy birthday to you both!

THIS IS THE END

In honor of August being “National Peach Month” – here’s another fact from your friends at Snapple. Snapple Fact #722 – The peach was the first fruit to be eaten on the moon! I wonder if they left the pit up there with the rest of their trash… I had this fact saved for two months now. Inset ironic fact here about the dude that probably ate that peach… Neil Armstrong took the 2^nd star to the right & floated off into the galaxy at the end of the month. Until next time, follow your own star & may the foxiest bitch win!

July 2012 - Toga Party Edition

Everyone busted out their togas & went to Phyllis’ house for our annual Toga Party! I’m pleased to say this year’s party went very well. No drama & no natural disasters! Well, unless you count the rain that stopped most of us from swimming. We dined on grilled goodies (burgers & dogs); fried tomatoes; Greek pasta salad; fruit salad; veggies; asst snacks & lemon cheesecake.

Phyllis once again did her annual “panty raid”. She had some of the old stand-by panties (including the “turd cutters”) from years gone by, but this year, she added a fresh pair of candy panties, along w/ a marshmallow dental floss (literally) version. At the end of the night, Lori had the most panties outta the bunch so she won the prize! Inside the gift bag was a Yankee candle & really cool candle holder. Lori was very excited to win!

The first cover all was a 3-way split between Phyllis, Debi & Lori. Phyllis said, “Should we split it or should I just take it all?” After we all chuckled, the ladies decided to split the pot (of course)! After lamenting that her bra had gone all the way down to “training” size, Kate hit the final cover all of the night all by herself! Kate was happy that her bra had increased in size.

MYSTERY BAG

In case you forgot – way back in May, Lori was responsible for the Mystery. Kate was the big winner. Since we couldn’t do the Mystery Box in June (due to our outing), she was responsible for bringing the Mystery back for the Toga party. After a sudden death match w/ Peg, I prevailed as the champion! Inside the Box was a knitted drink coozie that looked like a “Muppet Vagina” (according to my husband). The coozie will remain in my Pokeno bag only to be used at Pokeno events. At least nobody will steal my drink! If only there were smaller versions for lighters…

ALOHA SUMMER!

Oh summer, we hardly knew ye… Another sweltering summer has come & gone. We’ll be partying at the Tiki Bar on SATURDAY, AUGUST 11^th. Come at 4:00 (with your bathing suit & towel) if you want to enjoy the new hot tub gazebo (check out the photo on the side over there). Or, you can come at 5:00 if you just wanna get down to business. Kate will provide a main dish, Phyllis is making her super yummy pot stickers, Patt is making a fruit salad thing & I’m making a cake. We still need snacks & sides.

SEPTEMBER POKENO

In an unprecedented maneuver, we plotted out the next 2 months worth of parties at the same time. Even better, we did it without any problems! So, while you’re marking your calendars with our August game, you might wanna jot down the following game will be on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22^nd @ 3:00. Why so early? That’s because we’re meeting over in PA @ Patt’s house. And, while we’re talking about Patt…

PATT WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER

Back in January, Patt received a race car experience for her birthday. At the end of June, the time finally came to put the pedal to the metal!  She brought some photos to share with us. She said she was too short to reach the pedals so they had to prop her up w/ a bunch of pillows. All the pillows propped her boobs onto the steering wheel, so they had to change that out too. She said it felt like she was in a clown car! When it was finally her turn to drive, she stalled it out in 1^st gear before white-knuckling it & hitting 135 mph! Woo hoo! Hopefully she has adjusted to regular driving & won’t attempt to hit that speed on our local highways.

EXCITING NEWS EVERYONE!

I am proud to announce, that as of this publishing, our Sister Giggles is officially (around) 150 days sober! We’re all very proud of you! Keep up the good work lady!

RANDOM FUNNIES

The Buddy System! We were all outta whack when it came time to make sure there was actually the correct amount of dimes in each pot. Quite a few times someone forgot & had to fix it. One of these times, Phyllis was odd-woman out. We told her she needed a buddy. To which she replied, “I AM the buddy”! So much for the buddy system…

What’s on that Cake? Peg made a very yummy lemon cheesecake. She was upset about how the topping turned out brown. We didn’t care, it was still delicious. While we were eating it, Peg was explaining how she made the topping. Phyllis said, “Oh, like lemon curd”. Patt heard “lemon TURD”! What the whaaaa? No, not even close! I mean, I don’t know for sure, but I’m gonna guess that turds don’t taste quite that delicious!

Where Am I? At some point during the 2^nd round, someone was calling & Debi said, “Are we playing another game?” Yes Deb, yes we are. That’s kinda the whole point of being here at the table.

Don’t Go Out Back! Phyllis was in rare form this month. She was super hyper & at one point (I don’t even know why) she said, “We’re gonna have a knife fight! There are shanks in the backyard!” Then, Patt asked if it was gonna be a knife fight like in “West Side Story” & broke out her best Sharks v. Jets snaps!

Is That a New One? That’s what Phyllis said when Lori mumbled one of the cards during her call! Nope, it’s not a new one, just a mistake.

Get Funky! Much later in the evening, Patt’s phone started playing some super groovy dance music. Patt started dancing to it. We asked her what it was & she said it was her pill reminder. Peg said, “Well, it looks like you missed that last one”!

ONLY IN AMERICA!

In honor of our nation’s independence this month, here are a few things that could only happen in the land of the free & home of the brave: 

•  A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance
• People order a double cheeseburger, large fries & diet Coke
• You can get butter, Kool-Aid & bacon deep fried at your local street fair
• A former boxer made more money selling grills than during his entire professional boxing career
• You can become famous for making a sex tape
• In Talkeetna, Alaska they’ve had a cat as mayor for 15 years! His name is “Stubbs” (because of his stubby tail).
• We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway & put useless crap in our garage
• We buy hot dogs in packs of 10 & buns in packs of 8
• The Toledo Zoo began in 1900 because someone donated a bear to the town. The bear turned out to be a woodchuck!
• In Miami they have ATM’s specifically for people on rollerblades!

THIS IS THE END

I’d like to take a moment here this month to mention something terrible that happened just a few weeks ago. In a suburb of Denver, 12 people were killed & almost 60 were injured when a man came to the midnight showing of the new Batman movie dressed in full Kevlar, armed with tear gas & assault weapons. Now, I understand that we have the 2^nd Amendment to “bear arms” & everyone has different opinions on the topic. However, no matter what side of the debate you fall on, we should all agree that NO BODY (with the exception of military personnel) needs to be in possession of an assault rifle. They have one purpose only – maximum death & destruction! My heart breaks both as a Batman fan, and as someone who has lost loved ones to gun violence. I know exactly what the families of the victims & the shooter are going through right now. It’s the most awful thing you can imagine. So please, take a moment to be thankful for what you have. While you’re at it, take another moment to remember those who aren’t so lucky & just lost their loved ones to more unnecessary violence.

Stepping off my soap box for now…until next time may the foxiest bitch win!

June 2012 - Longwood Gardens Edition

And now for something completely different! For the first (and probably the last) time 7 outta 8 of us got together & ventured out on a trip to Longwood Gardens. I took 230 pictures & a bunch of them are over there on the side panel for your viewing enjoyment. If there's any that you would like to have for yourself, or if there was something that you liked, but wasn't published, please let me know & I will be more than happy to share them via e-mail.

This was no "vacation" for your ever-faithful Pokeno "secretary". I carried around a tiny notebook to take a few notes. Some points of interest are as follows:

• Patt cashed in $47 worth of Pokeno dimes on her way to the Gardens. This allowed her & Marge to rent power scooters. Debi also rented a scooter. Those of us who weren't wussies (ha, ha, ha) walked the entire grounds for about 4 hours.
• Mother Nature actually cooperated & gave us a beautiful day! We were all kind of scared about the weather as we had high 90-100 degree temps in the days leading up to our trip. There was also fear of a thunderstorm, but the weather people changed their minds because they knew the rain would ruin our plans & hell hath no fury like a pissed off Pokeno Sister! It was very hot in the direct sun, but luckily for us, most of the Gardens were shaded & breezy. There was a part in the middle where we were all ready to pass out from the heat & briefly entertained the idea of jumping in the fountain, but we didn't. Security didn't chase us down until the conservatory when Peg decided to give a tree a hand-job.
• We learned that the little black seeds you see when you're eating a banana are actually "aborted bananas". Mmm...that puts a whole new spin on my kids' favorite snack! Good thing I'm pro-choice.
• We also learned that the "green wall" (see photo) in the conservatory @ Longwood is the largest in North America. The only place with a bigger wall is China! Wait a minute...don't they already have a pretty good (some might say "great") wall over there?
• Phyllis had a great time going into all the buildings & explaining how this, that & the other were hers. She explained how the different rooms were for relaxing, or breakfast, or how the room full of grapevines in the greenhouse was going to be used exclusively for our Toga Parties!

At the end of the day, most of us had a really good time. But, I think from now on, we'll just stick to getting together around someone's table to play cards. Speaking of which...

CALLING ALL GODDESSES

Everything will be back to “normal” (I use that very loosely) when we all gather once again at Spanky’s table on SATURDAY, 7/28. The pool will be open @ 4:00. If you’re going to swim, don’t forget to bring your bathing suit & towel. We would like start business @ 5:00 if you don’t want to swim. Phyllis will be providing the main course of burgers (veggie & regular); hot dogs; fried green tomatoes w/ gravy & strawberry daquiris (with & without alcohol). Since she's doing most of the food work, she's asking that the rest of us bring sides, appetizers, or dessert.

THIS IS THE END

Thanks again to all the sisters who made the trek to Longwood. Lori, sorry you missed it! It was nice to do something different for a change. Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!

May 2012

Party at the Tiki Bar! Whoop Whoop! Some of us showed up early to take advantage of island cocktails & a bubbly hot tub! It was unusually sunny & warm, but Kate turned the heating unit off & it was still just as relaxing! We ordered food to be delivered so (mostly) everyone got what they wanted! The pizza was supposed to be half “Hawaiian”, but showed up all plain. We thought about calling the restaurant back & demanding the right pizza, but it was just as easy to eat the plain stuff.

Marge was a no show this month because she was attending a wedding in North Carolina (congrats to Kristen & Chris). Most of us got to Kate’s around 4. Debi showed up around 5, but Peg (who was having a really bad week) didn’t get there until 6. By the time we got settled, we squared away business @ 6:30. We didn't start actually playing until 7:00! When all was said & done, we only played for about 2 hours total! But, we all had a good time.

Kate had some hostess luck (see below) & wound up calling first. This meant Phyllis had to call last. She almost didn’t even get her chance, but she did get in the final round. Anyway, Kate starts calling & got 3 rounds into it when I realize that neither Peg nor I cut the cards! Debi kept on with her winning streak this month. She has so many dimes now; they’re also in her chip container as “overflow”! But, we figured out her winning strategy…she pays attention while we’re all retarded! Now that we figured out the trick, maybe we should start being a little less retarded & pay a little more attention so we can all have 2 cups full of dimes! There was music playing quietly in the background all night. During the first cover all, “Eye of the Tiger” was playing. We found this very funny! Lori won the first cover all by herself! Nothing funny happened during the 2^nd cover all, but I won that one by myself. Most of us got our stuff together & headed out before 10. Phyllis hung out after to have some “alone time” with the hot tub after her long day of doing yard work.

MYSTERY BOX

It was Lori’s turn to bring a Mystery to the party. It was a very “manly” patriotic box. After 2 sudden death draws between Kate & I, the hostess luck was in Kate’s favor. She was the winner! Under the manly wrapping & Tootsie Rolls was a box chock full of patriotic goodies for Memorial Day. There was a ribbon, scarf, candles, window clings, a flag tumbler, flag & probably some other stuff I missed as I was trying to shovel food in my face, take notes & watch my card all at the same time! We won’t be doing the Mystery Box in June since we’re having our outing. But, Kate will be responsible for bringing the Box back to the Toga Party in July.

COME TO THE GARDENS OF LONGWOOD

We will be tip-toeing through the tulips on SATURDAY 6/23. Well, maybe that’s not such a good idea, we might get kicked out for that! We should probably just tip-toe past the tulips! Please get to Peg’s house by 12:30 so we can leave @ 1:00 to make sure we’re at the Gardens by 1:30 to meet up with Patt. Don’t forget, you’ll need $18 admission, plus cash for lunch & our usual monthly dues.

TOGA IN JULY

Once again, we will be having our annual toga party @ Spanky’s “animal” house. Get ready to “Shout!” on SATURDAY, 7/28. The pool will be open @ 4:00 (bring your bathing suit & towel). We would like to be at the table @ 5:00 if you don’t want to swim. I know its 2 months off, but don’t worry; you’ll get a reminder or two!

RANDOM FUNNIES

Isn't it Ironic? Phyllis told an entertaining anecdote earlier in the evening. She went to a Halloween Fest at a local convention center. Lots of people showed up for the day in various Halloween costumes and monster themes. Apparently, there was also a guns & ammo show going on at the same time! She saw zombies & guys in cammo w/ guns passing through the same common area on their way to their shows! Wouldn’t that make a great horror movie? 

Cold as Ice! Kate recently got a super cool (pun intended) ice maker recently. We were all using the ice in our beverages. Debi decided to eat one of her cubes when she noticed it got stuck to her tongue! So, in the future, if you’re chillin’ @ the Tiki Bar, be careful with the ice!

SHOUT OUTS!

Shout Out #1: First & foremost, we have 2 Pokeno Sisters celebrating birthdays in May. Marge missed out on getting to wear the crown, so I used a prop for her “official” b-day photo over there. And, Debi is “sexy @ 60”! Happy birthday to you both!

Shout Out #2: Thanks once again for your canned food donations for Jacob’s school/local food bank. I’ll let you know next time if his class wins anything for all your valiant efforts.

Shout Out #3: Lori’s church had its monthly thrift store. Kate & I both managed to get over to check it out. I was really impressed, there were lots of neat little things, everything was incredibly well priced & best of all, the people were really friendly. One of Lori’s friends even pushed Nathan around for a bit so I could have some time to browse! In case you’re interested in going to check out the bargains for yourself, the next one will be on June 9^th. Please contact Lori or me for details. And, speaking of Sister Giggles…

Shout Out #4: I saved the best for last! Before we started playing, Debi was talking to Lori about big news. My journalistic antenna went up & inquiring minds needed to know what this “big news” was. Lori said, “I don’t like bringing attention to myself”. No, please, do. That’s when Lori told me that she was 60+ days sober as of that night. This is wonderful news! I’m sure I speak on behalf of all the sisters in wishing Lori much praise & congratulations on this decision. You have our full support! Stay lazy, lady! (*that’s not an insult - she knows what that means)

THIS IS THE END

May was a very difficult month for some of my childhood heroes. At the beginning of the month, Adam “MCA” Yauch from the Beastie Boys died and a few days later, Maurice Sendak passed away. A week went by and then “Queen of Disco” Donna Summer and “First Brother of Disco” Robin Gibb also passed within a few days of each other. These people all had a huge part in my growing up & I’m very sad to see them go. Thankfully there's this new hologram technology, so a world tour reunion is still possible!

”Let us be grateful to people that make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom” – Proust.  Until next time, may the foxiest bitch win!